Sea What I Mean

I Could Start By Saying "Well"
Although that would be starting the punning a little early.  Bear with me, I'm typing as I think, and also watching television whilst drinking tea.  Is this what they call multi-tasking?  Look at Conrad, he's on fire!
     - you can put the fire-extinguisher down now.  It was a metaphor.
     Okay, back on track.  Conrad was looking out of the window of The Electric Goldfish Bowl at the giant construction site alongside, feeling glad that he didn't have to be working in a giant mudslide in the cold.  
     "Wow I shall have to have another look over my volume about 'Principles of Civil Engineering Construction'," I considered, inspired by the diligent artisans outside.  It really is an interesting read, which leads me to another thought that naturally follows*.  
     "What is the difference between 'Civil Engineering' and 'Marine Engineering'?" I wondered.
     Well - see what I did there? - one of the biggest differences is that the sea is not a static entity, it moves around all the time, frequently a great deal.  Whereas on terra firma you can rely on the ground to remain politely still.  
     "Er - yes, we see," I can hear you saying.  "Except not really."
     Okay, take a "Give Way" sign.  Art?

Get it?  give it away and take - O never mind

     As you can see, this sign is firmly set into the ground, on a concrete foundation, providing passing motorists with the requirement to allow passing traffic priority. Of course there will always be idiots who ignore it and risk dismemberment and death by pulling out directly into traffic approaching at speed, but you can't legislate for idiots.
     Now, how do you inform a passing yacht or ocean liner that they have to carry out the marine equivalent of "Give Way"**?  You need a sign that floats, and which can still function in darkness or fog, and it has to stay in position, too - a warning that migrates with the facility of the African Swallow would be a liability indeed.
     So.  Art?

Oh buoy

     Now you begin to understand.  The anchors here are on the seabed, a long way beneath our buoy.  The one above is powered by solar panels, others might use motion to charge themselves, and they may also include bells, sirens or flashing lights to ensure everyone knows, at all times, to Give Way.
     Marine engineering:  you now know more than you did five minutes ago.

"Elementary"
Conrad is watching this whilst typing out the blog, which has proven to be a more time-consuming business than if he wasn't watching it.  Swings and roundabouts, don't you know.  The scriptwriters were still using words straight out of the Clever Dictionary: "De rigeur", "Provenance", "Credulity", "Monogamy" and - I especially liked this one "Sisyphusan".  I'll come back to that later.
     Conrad, who has the besetting sin of the cat, curiosity - and I haven't forgotten about that photograph of the Mars Rover Curiosity - wondered about a part of Sherlock's process.  You see, when he's tackling a case, he tacks a vast array of papers and Post-Its and notes and cards to his sitting-room wall.  Art?

From Season One but still moot

     Who creates all that paperwork?  I don't doubt that it all has to be correctly detailed and accurate to the case as described, because you can guarantee - GUARANTEE!! - that there will be anorak-clad saddoes out there who will enlarge this stuff in order to be able to read it.  They will then cross-check and analyse it on internet fora before posting up a long critique on social media***.
     What the heck, I suppose it stops them vandalising bus stops.

The Erudition Of Elliott
Elliott Kalan, that is, one of the three persons responsible for the "Flop House" podcast, which I am always pimping here with no commission or freebies, let me tell you.  He used to be head writer on something called "The Daily Show" and has written for comics as well as been a comic.  One who stands up, rather than the variety that gets read.

Elliott is the short guy on the right

     Anyway, Conrad has always been rather impressed with Elliott's grasp of grammar when he jumps in to correct Dan or Stuart, also his knowledge of science-fiction and comics graphic novels, too.  And, it has to be said, his knowledge of Greek mythology: on one podcast he corrected Dan's use of "Sisyphus" to the correct "Tantalus".  Ol' Sis, you see, was condemned to eternally roll a rock uphill, whereas Tantalus was forever denied food and drink whilst chained to a rock - hence the verb "Tantalise".
     There you are, told you I'd get Sisyphus in there again.

Elliott solo.

*  To which I must add, "in my mind"
**  "Heave about way" sounds appropriately nautical.
***  Welllllll - okay, I confess, it's what I'd do.