THE QUERULOUS CLAMS OF J.J. ABRAMS!

I Know What You're Thinking -
 - but only because of my superlative hearing, nothing to do with telepathy*.
     Okay, clams in their natural environment do not produce audible sounds, so they cannot in any way be described as "Querulous".
     Secondly, there is no evidence at all that media master JJA has ever used clams to make a loud noise.
     Thirdly, may I present to the court that a clam, once you have devoured it's delicious inner contents and cleaned it out and dried it, may well be bound together and used as a pair of castanets?


                         A pair of - you know where this is going, don't you?

A Short Photoessay About Weasels Beer Weasels With Beer
Ha!  Gotcha!   There are no weasels here, only beer.  I did post earlier today, in a post that you have OF COURSE already read, about a new bottle opener and how I would post an update.
     Well, the blighter did come over well:

Bottle opener applied

     I did worry that the thing might be counter-intuitive, but no:

Cap removed

     Here a happy serendipity:

"Ow! Right in my eye!"

     The magnet caught the now loose bottle top.

Success!

     The beer is now in the glass -

Proost!

     - and the beer is now in Conrad.

A Short Update

     Cat is still in box.

Did I Mention Weasels? 
Many years ago Darling Daughter created this cartoon for your humble scribe and it has recently been dug up again, viz:

     There really isn't a whole lot else you can say about this, is there?

Konrad Kleans Kitchen
I do apologise for torturing the language like that, otherwise it would have been all letter "C" and who would recognise a "Citchen" for what it really was?  You see?  You see the taunting dilemmas that Conrad has to negotiate daily on behalf of -
     - where was I?  O yes.  Please note the "Before" photograph:

The horror!  The horror!

      I have to say that this is the detritus from making 12 Sweet Potato and Bacon Muffins, and a Schlemmertopf Topside Joint**, tomorrow's lunch, gravy, boiled potatoes and I believe Uncle Tom Cobley is in there somewhere.
     Behold!  The "After" photograph:

Hay Pesto!

     If ever science takes a hint from science fiction, it will be the Organic Solvent from "Tomorrow I'll Be Scalding Myself With Tea", that epochal Seventies Socialist Science Fiction film from Czechoslovakia.  All you needed to do to move from "Before" to "After" in the above is drizzle a few decilitres of OS on the dishes and - there you are.

The Codex
As I threatened yesterday, I am posting photographs of pages from the "Codex Seraphinianus", that bizarre and entertaining faux encyclopedia from the Eighties:

Ooops.  No idea why it turned sideways.  It's odd enough already.

     That was Page One.  Brace yourselves for Page Two!

Architecture.  And morality***

     What does it all mean?  Who knows!
     If I find out I'll let you know.  But - no holding of breath, okay?

How Rude!
I have to say, down in the depths manners do tend to go by the side, yet there really is no excuse for this rascal to be so blatant.  Behold the Gobbling Shark:

No sign of either knife or fork. The horror!

     That this is really a breach of etiquette is proven by this photo:

Angling for a compliment?

     This particular deep sea horror is asking if he may consume those two fish there, not just taking it for granted.
     Mind you, if he shut his gob quickly I think he'd put his eyes out.

Enough for today, the day of National Instruction!

(March First)

"Steady lads, that twod Conrad is BOUND to try and pun us somehow!"

* Yet.
** Which was delicious, thank you for asking
*** OMD album title, before you ask.