Bloggorrhea!

Another Word I Made Up
Go me!  There is a small yet growing number of words new to the English language, as well as common sense, that emerge from the fervid creative landscape of Conrad's mind.  This one is a combination of "Blog" - I'm not going to define that as by now you surely, surely SURELY know what one of those is - and "Logorrhea", which is a disorder characterised by excessive chattiness, which frequently lacks sense.
     Well, put those two together and  - Hay Pesto! - you pretty much define BOOJUM!, except in written form.

Too many words!  Here's a steam gig to compensate

     The reason I state this is because, up until last week, I'd never bothered to count how many words each post contained, assuming a couple of hundred each, wondering - nay, fearing - that I was posting a lot of space-filling pictures without much in the way of narrative meat.*
     Not really.  There were word totals of 700 words for a relatively short post, and one came in at 1,200 words.
     So - "Blogorrhea" is entirely justfified!

Gene Roddenberry Ergonomics:  The Bridge Of The "Enterprise"
I wish to pick a few bones with the designers of the "Enterprise", concerning the layout of the titular starship's bridge.
     Allow me to refresh your memory as not many of you will be familiar with the Sixties original:

Hi-tec in it's day

     First of all, was there a sale at Generic Office Chairs, Inc. when they came to kit out the spaceship?  Notice that the only proper 22nd Century chair is the one that belongs to the Captain, ner-ner; I guess after stuffing the Enterprise with phasers and shuttlecraft and lifts that travel in two planes there's not much budget left for the humble chair.
     Next, health and safety.  Notice the black walkway with gaps in the railing?  NO highlighting the walkway edge, which is simply begging for an accident.  How will that look back at Starfleet:  "Captain Kirk incapacitated by scalding coffee being poured down the back of his neck; Yeoman Rand stumbled off the walkway edge with her cup of Java".
     Then again, why is the captain and the forward control island down in a well?  A very shallow well only two steps deep?  Compensated for by an island that puts both positions back on the same level as the walkway?  Come on, admit it - somebody forgot to put the planking back!  If you indent for it I bet somewhere like Starbase 61 will have it lying around in a stock room.
     Oh, yes, the one that everyone points out:  No seatbelts or safety harness or protective cradles, viz:

Possibly a weird new dance move?

     Not even after repeated periods of being thrown around do the Enterprise crew get any kind of protection.
     "No need!" asserts Starfleet, loud and proud.  "All our crew have an exceptionally strong forearm grip!"
     There's also lots of space on the bridge; you could invite enough people to throw a pretty good party there, and if you're clever enough the sliding door noises could be turned into a soundtrack of sorts.  And there's more - in terms of real ergonomics the design is poor as everyone faces away from each other, meaning poor communications.
     When we turn to the Enterprise of Star Trek:The Next Generation - well, my facepalm has a facepalm.
     The original series was so unsuccessful that the sequel took fifteen years to arrive, in which time the direction, sets, dressing and design had moved on as well.  Art?

Ah yes.
Actually NO!

     Dear me, where to begin.  These chairs look more firmly bedded, yet do you see any belts, harnesses or cradles?  Handgrips, handles, bars - anything to hold onto?
     Not only that, the original ergonomics problem is back but worse - not only are half the crew looking away from the others, they're stood up at the back as well!  At least the Original Series had Chairs For All!
     Nor is that all.  Compare this fuzzy-focus plush carpeted version with the frankly impressively functional forerunner.
     It looks like a furniture showroom.  All the fire and spirit of an IKEA-kitted office.
     "To boldly go - in my flying desk!"

Too many words!  More pictures!

Okay -

Passed on the route to work each morning

     - I did.  I came back and put a brick through the window.

Damn It Coincidence, There Isn't Room In The Bed For You!
Okay, Thursday night Conrad does the shopping and sees, for the first time ever, a tub of Carte D'Or ice cream labelled "Eton mess".  It's a blend of different things with meringue mixed in, so:

Breakfast!

     I bought it.
     Friday night I walk into Bluu, and there is Dom being sophisticated, sipping a cocktail:

That, or giving it the elbow

     And what is it's name?  Yes, "Eton Mess".

Don't go away, that's not all.

     Every night during the week Conrad passes the "Northern Soul", a small eaterie opened on what Conrad has discovered is the "Church Street Market" - this is where "Bookbuyers" opens, when he feels like it.

Those drums are full of stores.  Very ingenious!

     I've been curious about it, and then on Facebook suddenly Ian Breen** pops up saying it's run by his best mate and is brilliant.  I work with Ian and have been to see his rock'n'roll troubadours, so this afternoon I popped in:

The menu.

     Very friendly staff and a great big grilled cheese sandwich.***Conrad will be back.

     That's not all the coincidences!

I went to "Travelling Man" today, herein the evidence:

"Crossed: Wish You Were Here"
"American Vampire: Vol. 3"

     I saw the owner, Haroon, at the Dream Themes gig last year - in the company of - wait for it - Ian Breen!
     And Claw The Thin Ice have played gigs in Travelling Man, and you can probably find one of these on Youtube.

Turning The Table
The Mansion has a new kitchen table, replacing the old rectangular slab one from Ikea, viz:

     Of course this is very small change in the perspective of world events, but since Conrad spends hours each weekend at the table drinking tea, eating baked bread products and reading long strange books, it matters to me.

Blimey!  That's well over 1,000 words already.  I have more to say,^ but in the interests of not boring people with another 1,000 words that's enough for this post. 

Pip pip!

* You see?  You see the wracking philosophical trauma I suffer every day to create this blog?
** Ian Breen, you know, "Claw The Thin Ice" Ian Breen; "Borland" Ian Breen.
*** I offer this with no prospect of payment. Honest BOOJUM!
^ Don't I always?