Quick! Reverse The Polarity Of The Neutron Flow!

Yes, It's A Quote From The Documentary Series "Doctor Who"
Of which more anon*.
     I'm sorry but we have themes of rather sober import tonight, which is what comes of reading Thomas Pynchon and reflecting on the quality of Melancholy.  Also the weather this morning was dreadful and inspired a general air of gloom right over Conrad's head.  If you had infra-violet vision you'd have seen his own personal rain cloud weeping on his thinning white lustrous grey hair.
     Okay, on with the headphones and let the motley begin!

A show-stopping moment in Human-Silurian relations:
what would have happened if they'd shaken hands?!

Saint Helena
Again, thank you Mr Pynchon.  Conrad knew of this island as the final place of exile of Napoleon Bonaparte, and that's it.  He thought it might have been in the Mediterranean, or maybe off the West Indies.  You know, sub-tropical, warm blue waters, palm trees.
     Not a bit of it!  It sits in the middle of the South Atlantic.  You can get more remote places, like the International Space Station, or being in an Apollo capsule orbiting the dark side of the moon, but Saint Helena is as remote as you can be on Earth.  Which explains the constant descriptions of monstrous isolation in "Mason & Dixon".

St Helens.  Close enough and almost as bleak

     For your information, it was discovered by those hardy pioneers the Portuguese in 1502, and was named after Saint Helena of Constantinople - though her connection with Portugal remains obscure to me.  Most famous resident was of course old Boney, although several thousand Boer prisoners of war resided there, and doubtless hated it.

"Parotonomastically"
Another of Tom's big words, and Conrad wondered what on earth this one could be.  Definitely to do with language, by context, and seemingly by definition.  What could it mean?  A complex derivation from Old German and Middle French, all about parsings and transmutations from the Latin?  What could it mean!
     "A Pun".
     Excuse me?  that's it!
     Well, apt for this blog at least.  It is derived from Greek - "Par" meaning "Partly" and "Onomazein", meaning "To name."
     I'm not posting a pun here, that would be redundant: read the blog!

Okay, okay, a punk.  Close enough

"Ketjap"
This word is used in connection with cuisine that Mason and Dixon encounter at Capetown, whilst it was a Dutch colony, importing food from the Dutch East Indies.  "Ketjap" is a sauce used by the Malay settlers and slaves - not to be confused with "ketchup", as it's actually a type of soy sauce, most usually a sweet version that differs thus quite markedly from the Japanese or Chinese version.
     BOOJUM! - educating you in matters culinary!

The South Pole Telescope
You want isolation and time to think, unworried by the crush of modern life, a lot of space between you and your next-door neighbour, and nice cool weather?
      Then the South Pole Telescope and the post of stay-behind telescope technician is your dream posting.

Cybermen remains digitally removed

     This place is only accessible for three months of the year, which is when the technical staff fly in and set everything up.  They then fly out, leaving one person behind to polish the dials and sweep the floor.
     You are also quite correct in noting that this very site, under it's previous name of the "South Polar Tracking Station", was the scene for Earth's first encounters with the Cybermen back in 1986.

CCTV footage from the documentary titled "Tenth Planet"

     The staff back then was a lot bigger, as they didn't have the automated digital equipment that we have nowadays and thus needed to do a lot more hands-on work.  Anyway, expect a UN-approved commemoration next year on the 30th anniversary.

Madonna Banned From The Beeb
A nation rejoices:

"Hooray!"

     Predictably the Poisonous Pensioner had a bit of a rant about it - which I can't be bothered to describe.
     You are aged, Madam, and the entertainment business can be extraordinarily cold to the old - see Brandon McQueen** - and this isn't current affairs as Conrad has disliked you, lo, these many decades.
     To any Madonna fans present - the exit door is THAT WAY!

Red Nose Day
It surely cannot have escaped your attention that today is indeed Rubicundrhino Diem, which might even make sense in Latin.  Or not.
     Here is your very own mirthful scribe, laughing gaily:

Okay, looking like a humourless git.

     I am afraid that I couldn't keep the nose on for long; my own proboscis is too large to comfortably accommodate a foam rubber extension.
     Then there were the fancy dress entrants:

Wendy being cruell.

     This is Wendy Wow, one of the Payroll staff and a jolly good sport for being the only one amongst their cheerless ranks to dress up.  
     And for Service Delivery, we have the fair Anna, responsible for organising much of the day***:

"If this gets on the blog you're a dead man, Conrad!"

     Well, she can pull off the Face Made Funny For Money.  Conrad - not at all. Remember?

     There was food to be et, as well:

Sophie's triumph^

      All told, we raised £224 for Red Nose Day.
     Eating cake for charity.  It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it.

     Tomorrow: how to survive an Uprising Of Worms

* Interesting word, "Anon".  I shall probably analyse it tomorrow.
** You need to be familiar with "Who Killed Retro Girl?" for this to make sense.
*** Not all of it, Dom helped as well.
^ This Sophie, not that Sophie.