- not worth the paper it's spoken on, frankly. However, under the new "Sweetness and Light" editorial policy - which really takes Conrad a whole lot of teeth-gritting to manage - we shall endeavour to ensure the blog is piscine-protected tonight.
| "Yes, puny human?" |
I got off the 24 today thinking that it was early. Not so! Checking the timetable on the bus shelter, it was actually on time!
Here's some smelling salts; don't try to get up in a hurry, you'll probably faint again.
Yes, see, that's excellent news, isn't it? Make the most of it.
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| This is seen when First buses run on time |
<thinks hard>
Aha! Less greenhouse gases were emitted thanks to no bus. I probably shouldn't make excuses for
Films
Conrad has seen several noteworthy bus posters advertising new films, so here we go with a short series of articles, reviewing films the BOOJUM! way - erratically, biased and using wild generalisations. If you want a proper film review, go to IMDB or Empire*.
"Focus"
This one stars that nice Will Smith as a con-man.
"Never drop the con", advises the tagline.
No, because he is delicate and might break.
Next!
| Focus. What? That's their name. Besides, this refers to "Mason & Dixon" |
"Home"
This is a children's cartoon, probably full of
<Grits teeth again> Which is an entirely wonderful thing!**
 |
| Home. To Conrad, that is - as this is the Mansion |
Pronounced "Sweet Fransays", this is about the French and has a - ooh, is that a Panzer Mk III on the poster? In original 1940 Dunkelgrau paint-scheme? The gun looks like a short 37, so it ought to be a Mk III, the photo's too dark to see how many upper bogies it has, because if there are three, then it is indeed a Mk III, yet if there are four then that would indicate a Mk IV.
- oh yes the film. In French about some whizzle-shizzle or something.
Is there a blast-deflector under the muzzle? Because that would imply a Mk IV mounting the short 75 <Mister Hand intervenes to move the blog along or we'd be here all night>
| Sweet Francaise. (Come on, you knew that was coming!) |
No, this isn't about an elderly retiree. It refers to the year 1971 and is about a young British soldier who loses his weapon and himself in Belfast during a night of fear.
Conrad missed this at the cinema so will definitely be hunting it down on DVD.
Er - positive spin, positive spin - aha!
It provided employment for the cast and the production staff!
Also Conrad wonders if it's it rather early for it to be released, given the Troubles' recent termination - and as this borders on politics, religion and current affairs, we end the article here.
"Mason And Dixon"
As with any Tom Pynchon novel, there are going to be new words. Today we have "Lixiviates", which apparently means to separate out a substance into soluble and insoluble components, by percolation. TP refers to a tropical downpour in the Dutch colony of Capetown in this way.
| A cape and a gown. Close enough. |
The Mason Dixon Line
This entity will be more familiar to our South Canad - oh, dammit, for the purposes of this post they can be Americans - to our American readers. It was a boundary line drawn between the states of Delaware, Pennsylvania, Virginia and West Virginia, by those canny English chaps, in the 1760's, in order to resolve disputes about said boundaries.
 |
| Pensincontainer. Close enough |
Firstly, less of the sarcasm - that's my job.
Secondly, this line is seen as dividing the North from the South, which mattered a bit later on after Fort Sumter had been fired upon***.
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| Fort Sumpter getting a bit of a shoeing |
Loanwords
The (rather foxy) Roxy at work has an Iranian background and speaks Farsi, even going so far as to teach your humble scribe a few phrases. She pointed out that there are French words in Farsi, what linguists call "loanwords" - these include "Merci" for "thank you", "Keravat" for "Cravat" or what we in English call a "tie", and even "Zambon", for "Jambon", or "Ham", which Iranians don't eat although they do have "Chicken Zambon"^.
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| Chicken Zombie. Close enough. |
"Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin"
Belshazzar, King of Babylon, was having a bit of a do with his friends. Dishwashers not having been invented yet and glasses being in short supply, he was using sacred vessels looted from the Jewish Temple.
At this, the Big Chap Upstairs got a bit peeved, and caused a disembodied hand to write that phrase above on the chamber wall.
In comes Daniel for a translation, which amounted to "yer time's up, mate".
Belshazzar, last King of Babylon, for next day the Persians invade, and show him no Merci.
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| Where originates that phrase: "The writing's on the wall" |
The Metro
Thank you Metro! Thank you SO much! Under our new S&W policy it behooves us to praise you to the heavens with profound gratitude for informing the North West that:
Carol Vorderman is now blonde!
*ONLY after reading this blog first!
** NOT!
*** The start of a long fracas. Go look up "The American Civil War", which was really quite uncivil at times.
^ See! No fish here!
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