- who likes to sound off (metaphorically) in print about most things under the sun and a few above it, too.
"Why, whatever can you mean, Conrad?" I hear you saying.
Ooh, I thought you'd never ask!
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| Halfway down the right-hand side |
I've just logged onto Blogger and at 19:10 the blog has had 20 visitors.
Now, in the grand scheme of things this is pretty small beer, but here at BOOJUM! we expect maybe 20 hits over the whole day after posting in the evening, so to get this many on the basis of a morning "Pester" is quite a boost.
I nearly missed the morning pester-post, too, as Google Chrome decided to be like my bottle of ice-water and freeze, and I'd dawdled in bed 3 minutes longer than I ought to, so - things were fraught! I like to be out of the house by 7:10 to make sure I don't miss the bus, and the clock was ticking at 7:07 before I managed to post successfully.
There. A rare insight into the logistics of blogging here at the Mansion.
Grooveshark Jumps The Shark
It is with a profound sense of sadness that Conrad wishes to say goodbye to Grooveshark, which has now adopted the hideous Spotify model of free-streaming music - adding in an intrusive advert that plays over your music and which you have to pay to remove.
Nope. Ain't gonna happen. Grooveshark has managed these many years without any such nonsense and Conrad refuses point blank to have anything to do with the necessary "upgrade". Next it will be limits on the hours per month, then a limit on how many times you can play a track -
So, Conrad is now taking advice from other music lovers about alternative streaming services and will be checking out LastFM, Pandora and Bandcamp.
<makes rude gesture at Grooveshark>
| Groovy Shark gone all Spoti. Fye! |
Er - sorry again, another word that popped into Conrad's head at the bus stop.
What does it mean? I had a vague idea, something about "See-through", and I was essentially correct - the meaning is most relevant to fabric and refers to anything gauzy or light. See-through also applies but as BOOJUM! is most definitely SFW we won't be exploring any images dealing with that, thanks very much.
Where does it come from? Why the Greek, of course - "Dia" meaning "Through" and "Phainein" meaning "To show".
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| Diaphanous fish. They'd make perfect politicians, eh? |
I think it's time for a little critical application to STTNG, which as any fule kno, was the sequel to the original Star Trek - a little-known black and white cult series from the Sixties. STTNG appeared on the scene in the Eighties, when Spandex and big hair were not only legal but mandatory.
Now let us look at the phaser that Enterprise crew were required to carry:
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| You what? |
How do you aim it? - there are no sights! SImply point, press trigger and sweep until the landscape for 180 degrees about you is a smoking blasted ruin? Guess? It 's not even very ergonomically efficient, and without any trigger guard or carry handle it's very easy to drop. Would it go off on impact and leave you without any feet?
Take a look at the older model:
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| This is more like it! Rock on Tommy! |
I think the problem is that STTNG designers wanted a weapon that was - sorry to use this cliche - Politically Correct, in that it didn't look like a weapon. No - it looked like a hoover. Imagine the scene with Riker pointing his Dustbuster at the bad guys:
'Ooh, I'm shaking - I'm Shake and Vac'ing!"
"Do you charge for domestic work?"
"That sucks"*
I Say Coincidence, Fancy Us Bumping Into You!
Again. "Mason and Dixon", which I am enjoying reading. Not the deliberate and plodding that "V" proved to be, this is actually very funny in parts.
I think part of the reason for this coincidence is that reading Thomas Pynchon distorts local space-time and creates coincidences by default. What have I been banging on about in the past few days?
Werewolves.
Now, you might not expect werewolves to feature in avant-garde literature set in 1761 England, but - here we have Lud Oafley, who is a werewolf.
Except this being TP, it's not that simple. Lud is normally a werewolf (normal speech consisting of "ARHGHGHGH!") but when the full moon is out he turns into a foppish human dandy.
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| I did wonder how Art Department would goof it today. |
What was one of it's ships called? "Doddington"
Where is some of the action in my stories about fictional Eden Underwood set?
Yes, that's right, the market town of Doddington.
Not creepy or worrying in any w-
DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!
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| Doddington Hall. You know, I'm sure this was in "X Men" |
My Prize
I didn't boast about it at the time, but thanks to the very thoughtful Anna P.** I won the following on Red Nose Day, viz:
That's tooled Italian leather binding, I'll have you know. And look at those pages! That's quality paper, that is. It's not going to besmirched with scrivel about BOOJUM!, either. I think I shall only use the Quill pen on this baby.
"WAATUBFIV"
That's my acronym that I invented all by myself, on my own, pronounced "Waatubfiv".
Now you're asking what it means, eh?
Well I'm not going to tell you!
I Say, Is This A Coincidence I See Before Me?
Again.
Between playing Bingo last Friday, seeing adverts for Bingo on Sunday, then blogging about it yesterday, Conrad fully believed that he was all Bingo'd out for the rest of 2015.
Not a bit of it! Here is an article in today's Metro:
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| Yes, she stole £285,000 - |
Bingoh!
Well, once again Time The Enemy has us at ransom. I could probably spend until 10:30 working on stuff, but the blog would be 5,000 words long (it's already over 1,200!) and you didn't come here to read a novella full of puns, lies, exaggerations and fish, did you?
You did? Excuse me! Tune in tomorrow and I might explain "WAATUBFIV".***
* I could go on all night about this, but you get the idea.
** Who organised most of Red Nose Day. Dom helped as well, but as he is less attractive, he gets less credit. Sorry Dom!
** Or I might not. I'm fickle like that.
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