BOOJUM! - Hunting The Wild Socks

Not A Thing Encountered Everyday!
I quite understand your puzzlement, dear readers.  You, as town and city dwellers, are only familiar with the common Domesticated Sock, Urbanis Podiatris:  

Domesticated socks: docile and easy to manage

     However, here at the Mansion we are out on the borderlands of domesticity and civilisation, and we are as likely to encounter the Wild Sock* as the Domesticated.  For this reason Conrad has to periodically sweep the Mansion, from the Upstairs Lair to the airy Upper Dungeon**.
     The Wild Sock is crafty and cunning, adept at hiding and lying in wait for unwary human beings, and Conrad, too.

An example of Podiatris Feral lying in wait for any unwary passing human

     I witnessed the above, which was actually a double-bluff, because another sock was hiding, ready to pounce:

Spot the sock.  Crafty blighter, eh?

     If Conrad had been careless enough to tackle that one hiding on the curtain rail, it's mate could have got me in the kidneys.  Wild Socks - to be treated with care and caution.

Helpful assist provided by Sentry Cyborg Cat.
Conrad = 1  Wild sock = 0

     Our Mobile Alarm System (disguised as a small dog) also helps to track down, pursue or outright kill Wild Socks that attempt to flee at ground level.

Foolish sock!  This is Edna's Killing Ground

     The socks rarely attempt this unless desperate as Edna has terrific acceleration and can move from standing start to sixty miles per hour in under 2.4 seconds***.  
     Proof that Podiatris Feral is not to be taken lightly came when I began to sweep the lounge, because one of the blighters was waiting over the lintel -

Ambushed!

     An epic struggle began:

"DARN YOU! sock"^

     But the outcome was never really in doubt:

Proud victor

     Now, let me put you in my position and see if you can spot the lurking Ambush Sock here:

Clue:  it's grey

    It took a bit of work with the Combat Bamboo Skewer to wrestle this one out of it's hiding place:

Next time I'll use two

     But it went into the trophy bag anyway.

     This particular photo shows the day's haul:

 - which is when I noticed activity in the laundry basket and had to resort to strong measures - 

WHAMMO!  Taste Hiking Boot of Doom, Wild Sock!

     Now, at this point I felt like having a brew of triumph^^, so it was back to the Non-Lethal Kitchen.
     Something just didn't feel right, however, when I opened the cupboard.

     Conrad, canny as all get out, realised that A SOCK WAS WAITING!

Almost

     This one had been hibernating over winter.  I put the cup back and I'll get it later this Spring.  It's only a Size 2 so it's not fully grown yet, and you know Conrad, a softie at heart.

I hope all you out there appreciate that BOOJUM! has not displayed any seedy puns or jokes about Urbanis Podiatris and intimate congress between humans.  We have a reputation to live down to, after all.

* Podiatris Feral
** Not the Lower Dungeon - it flooded over winter and it's not been pumped dry yet.
*** We have to have her brakes serviced frequently, as otherwise she's at risk of hitting the front door, and would probably end up in 624 Rochdale Road before managing to stop.
^ Do you see what I did there?
^^  Loose leaf tea of course.