Danger Conrad Robertson*!

Apologies, We Seem To Be Experiencing Rapid Time-Flow
     In the never-ending battle between Conrad and Hermes**, today saw another twist between your lovable alien spy in human camouflage*** and the Greek god of travel.
     This goes back quite a way, probably a year or so, when Conrad would casually insult Hermes about this or that, and in retaliation Hermes would clog the roads with traffic and render the A59 into a five-mile car park.

Car spark.  Close enough.

     Today, Hermes saw fit to create a mere two-mile car park on the A59 northbound, from the motorway junction.
     Heh!  Take that, Hermes - Conrad is on the bus these days and the extra hour merely meant he got even more of "The Cruel Sea" read.

     Conrad 1 Hermes 1

     Of course this means that after Conrad gets home, takes off his human skin, makes lunch for tomorrow and has a morsel to eat, eight hours have passed and it's time to get up and go to work again.

Hit With The Coincidence Hammer - Again
     If you pay attention to Facebook, dear audience, then you must surely be aware that Conrad celebrates coming out of the clone-tanks on 17th of August 19<cough cough>.
     Somewhat tangentially, he has to ask questions of callers who ring the office to request aid and succour, including what their date of birth is.  Conrad already knows - he has the technology, you see - but the odds of someone having the same DoB as him are 364 to 1.  The odds of two people ringing and having the same DoB are at least 728 to 1 - maybe even 132,496 to 1 - and yet this happened last week.
     Scarey, spooky or just statistics?  Only you can judge!

A scarey judge

Future Sound Of London
     No! not a futurologist's sonic prediction, this is an electronic band, around since 1991, and Conrad has a couple of their CDs.  Why is this relevant?  Well, because if there are any psychologists present it forms an interesting case study.
     Yesterday I had a snatch of electronic music going through my head - thank you Oscar^ - at odd intervals, but it was only today that I recognised it as something from FSOL's work "Lifeforms". It was a very very definite track that lasted for several seconds on endless repeat.

It makes sense once you've eaten platefuls of peyote, apparently

     I really have no idea why it popped up in my head, although this confession is not really news as Conrad tends to stand back in awed disbelief at how his mind operates.  If you, gentle reader, have any insights, please put them on a postcard and bury it at the bottom of the garden.

"Outbreak 2014"
Conrad frequently finds that Facebook sidebar promotions are fertile ground for mockery, insolence and irony.  Yesterday he came across one that provoked a "What the hell?" moment, rather than amusement.  "Outbreak 2014" it proclaimed.
     Okay, now "Outbreak" I am familiar with.  Dustin Hoffman and a million helicopter gunships, and the flirty Mrs Pananides -

Off-the-peg superhero gear is frequently generic.  And a little tight around the crotch.

     But what was this one?  It had metallic disks burnished to a high shine, which didn't seem to have any connection with disease or dystopia.
     Of course, during the "Lights Out" involvement last night it became clear - The Outbreak of War in 2014.

I have six words for you^^

     If only people would flesh out those headlines, the world would be a less confusing place.

Ah, So THAT'S How They Did It
One of the advantages of working in The Electric Goldfish Bowl is the ability to see across the UK's second city^^^, including the work that has been carried out on Victoria Railway Station, from the early dismantling phase in 2013, to the major-component assembly phase at present.
     Conrad has been keeping watch on the enormous crane sitting in the middle of the site, and has been consistently disappointed that he has never seen it move any of the giant structural components of the station.
     Well, now the MEN has given away the secret:  the changes are made at night!

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/victoria-station-time-lapse-video-7568717

I shall have to inform Anthony at work, as he is as sad friendless geeky obsessed as I am about this crane and what it lifts and when.

World's Smallest Office Block
     Conrad passes this miniature marvel every morning, and chuckles to himself whenever he sees it.  Yes, agreed, Conrad is easily amused, but this is entertaining.  Behold!

Dead in the middle

     You can judge how small it is by the cars next to it, and yet, and yet!  There are notices on the side facing the pavement for this compact hidey-hole, yes "notices" plural.  "CANTEEN" and "TOILET" and "OFFICE".  What a marvel of commercial compactness!

Conrad's Catering
     Let me display the cooked Beef Slow Cooker Stew, the uncooked macedoine it originated from, and the frankly purple lemonade with minty bits in that is either the fault or the triumph of Anna (wise in the ways of lemonade)

And the blue stuff.  Can't forget the blue stuff.  Is it anti-freeze or slug-killer?

* My Sunday best sort-of-surname
** A male, despite the "Her-" bit.  Oh dear, there I go again, baiting the chap ...
***  That's me.  Yes I am lovable!
^  Oscar - Conrad's memory. Yes, he does deserve to be named, the treacherous swine -
^^  Jumping On The <insert single expletive word here> Band Wagon
^^^Any mention of a blot on the landscape beginning with "B" will be met with deadly force.  YOU have been warned!