Robots And Empire

Yes I'm Picking Random Titles
     In this case the source is Michael Whelan's "Works Of Wonder", a collection of science fiction and fantasy book covers that he did the artwork for.
     So, no, there are no robots in this blog.  Nor empires.
     You can, however, have a picture of a Gaboon Viper in a bad mood:

"It's Monday morning, it's raining and YOU TROD ON MY TAIL!"

The Grammar Hammer
     On the drive in to work earlier this week, Conrad glimpsed a Manchester City Council rubbish truck weaving in and out of the barely moving traffic, and caught sight of the warning notice displayed on the side.

"Warning!  This vehicle frequently stops!"

     Naturally this clashed with Conrad's complete and accurate knowledge of English grammar.  It ought to read:

"Warning!  This vehicle stops frequently!"

     MCC - do get it right. If things don't improve you're all up for Mind Squashing when my invasion fleet arrives.  You have been warned!

Radio jammer.  Close enough

Fuzztone Hammond
     No!  Not the name of some 50's R 'n' B musician from the backwaters of Louisiana.  A particular organ sound that I noticed on Caravan's "In the land of grey and pink", and which I believe Mike Ratledge of Soft Machine also used.  Quite distinctive in nature and not used a lot since, either.
     So.  If you're listening to either band, you may be struck by a sense of deja vu.
     BOOJUM!  - providing you with vital musical background*.

A Vox  Jennings Hammond with Leslie speakers - no, hang on -

A Scary Concept
     For his slow-cooker meals, Conrad has occasional recourse to a culinary condiment known as "chipotle paste", which is distinctively hot and smokey in flavour.  Not very easy to find, so when I came across jars of it in <memory draws a blank> I bought a couple.  They are made by a company with the unusual moniker of "Trees Can't Dance".
     Well of course they can't!  Not unless you're reading H P Lovecraft and that particularly frightening tale "The Colour Out Of Space".

Nightmare fuel.

     Thank you, chipotle-makers, I'd managed to forget that traumatic tale from my childhood, until you stirred it up.  I predict dreams about this tonight, unless I can persuade my subconsicous - I say, Dee**?  Can I have a word?

     A Filmic Interlude

Tommy
     As you recall yesterday - you DID drop by and read the blog yesterday, didn't you? - I went on about The Who and "Tommy", the record.  I was actually a lot more familiar with the film that came out in 1975, since "Top Of The Pops" featured the film version of "Pinball Wizard", in which Elton John plays a character with giant Doc Martins - I'm not hallucinating this, am I?  Plus classmates at the time went to see it, and I remember one describing the end as "sad".

Ken Russell's imagination, on display

     The film gets a 6.5 on IMDB, so it's kinda - not bad but certainly not brilliant.  I may attempt to watch it and provide further feedback, as you, my audience, a hanging onto every golden word typed here.  You ARE hanging onto every word, aren't you?

Beyond Westworld
     But not very far beyond!  Conrad has vague, attenuated memories of seeing an episode of a television series where an android American football player attempted to kill someone with a thrown football, and another android, topless, tried to defend its open instrument panel as human beings tried to tackle it.  A topless male android for those of you with dirty minds.

In Wikipedia, under "Cheap and nasty 80's titles", this is top of the list

     Having read the synopsis for this series, I think this might be the article in question.  Only 5 episodes were made before they pulled the plug - so, beyond Westworld just not very much.

Condensed Films
     How can you accurately describe a film in only five words?  Well, it isn't easy, it requires skill and facility, but it can be done.  Observe, gentle readers, observe in awe!

Titanic:  Big ship sinks very slowly
Evil Dead: Horror haunts hillbilly hell-house**
The Blues Brothers: Hundreds of cars gratuitously destroyed
Inception:  Parenthesis Parenthesis Dream Parenthesis Parenthesis
Brazil: Terry Gilliam's Imagination, on display
The Sound Of Music: Full of pointless, horrible songs
A Hard Days Night: The film that isn't "Help"
Help: Not "A Hard Day's Night"
Magnolia: Sorry.  Nowt about flowers here.
Collateral: Tom Cruise kills a lot
MIssion Impossible:  Tom Cruise bluffs a lot

It's film and it's thin.  Condensed, you might say ...

Okay, Back To Normal

Finally
     What do we have here?  A small dog being tricked into staying still long enough for a photograph to be taken

She's not that small, I'm just very tall

*  And obscure 50's US blues musicians who were ripped off by the Rolling Stones
** If you argue that the hyphen makes it only four words, I shall take that same hyphen and beat you over the head with it!  There are five words!