De Profundis

Or, "Out Of The Depths" In Latin
     Yes, once again BOOJUM! aims to educate you, the reader, with a soupcon of learning.  Today this phrase has three interpretations: 1) It refers to the undersea exploration vehicles shortly to be described; 2) It refers to Conrad's work-in-progress, a dissection and analysis of "The Kraken Wakes"*; 3)  Most likely of all - it refers to whatever is dredged out of his mind by Dee (Conrad's subconscious and a worrisome entity in his own right).

Bizarre!  Scary!  Polish!

The Technology Of Submarine Exploration
     Don't go!  This is interesting!  Really it is!
     Okay there aren't any explosions.  Or monsters.  Or zombies.  But it is still interesting!  Not least because Hom. Sap. is a curious species (yes, a bit ambivalent there) who simply have to know what's going on - in the air, underground or in the ocean.
     Okay.  First of all we had the diving bell, known as a "wet Bell".  I feel this is labouring the obvious.  You go underwater, you get wet; the two things pretty much go together.
     Anyway, the wet bell has been around for millenia.  I believe Alexander the Great had a go in one, as they don't need to be very sophisticated.  The bell is open at the bottom so divers can venture in and out, whilst the air pressure inside the bell keeps the water level down.

A Wet bell.  Yes, yes, I know, I know ...

     Now we step up to a whole new level of technical wizardry.  A wet bell can only function in relatively shallow waters.  If you want to explore the ocean beyond the littoral, you need heavier metal.  Yes, literally.
     Enter the bathysphere.  

"Caution: Only accessible to people 5' and under weighing less than 6 stone"

     This is no lightweight artefact gimmicked together over a weekend by a bored diver with a bottle of whisky and a lot of scrap metal.  In fact the first version was too heavy for the machinery used to hoist and drop it, so the sphere got melted down and rebuilt.
     No lightweight this; it weighed over two tons.  During test dives an insufficiently secured plug leaked, twice, filling the interior with water.  William Beebe, one of the two crewmen, said that if anyone had been inside they wouldn't have had time to drown.  The water coming in at enormous pressure would have pureed them first.  Well, that's all right then!
     The sphere was used until 1934, when Beebe finished using it, and it now sits in the New York Aquarium.  Given it's construction, it will probably outlive Hom. Sap.
     Tomorrow we will continue with the march of progress - perhaps that should be the paddle of progress?

The Bathysphere, circa 25,000 AD

"The Kraken Wakes": A Progress Report
     You didn't ask for it, I know, yet Conrad trusts his valued audience** and their critical faculties.
     The novel was written in 1953 so to update it into today's world means amending and altering certain aspects of Mr Wyndham's work.  What differences, you say?  Well, firstly we have satellites.  Secondly, there is a whole petroleum industry in the North Sea, vulnerable to attack from the briny deeps. Thirdly, there are plenty of nuclear-powered submarines stooging about in the ocean depths.  We also have the SOSUS underwater microphone network, not to mention H-bombs (not around until after TKW had been published).  The Soviet Union is long gone (although a certain Mr. P - ah - no, that would be politics, which BOOJUM! doesn't do).  Television, mobile phones and the internet are all present and would impact both negatively and positively on the storyline.
     The gist of a screen-play, then, I suppose, is to maintain the central plot, the characters, the dialogue and the settings, whilst bringing things up to 21st Century standards.  You can't change it too much or it's not a faithful adaptation; you can't change it too little or it will be anachronistic and alienate the audience.
     Gosh. There you have Conrad being briefly serious.

Okay, here's a picture of some mangel wurzels:

Yes, the serious has finished, since you asked.

The Whippoorwill
     As part of BOOJUM!s ongoing crusade to put a good word in for the unloved and ugly of the animal world, I would like to introduce you to the Whippoorwill.  Conrad first encountered these birds in the works of H. P. Lovecraft, so you know this isn't going to end well.  They have long been feared as omens of death - hang on - DEATH!!! - and were thought to be capable of capturing the souls of the departed.
     What they'd then do with them I don't know.  What's the going market rate for a used soul?  Can you trade them in for power-ups?  Will they make your meringues extra-light and fluffy?
     I hope the above paragraph shows how silly the fears about this entirely un-terrifying bird are.  I mean, it sings loudly - certainly loudly for it's size. So it probably doesn't feature in "The Quiet Ones".
     No, it isn't one of Nature's good lookers, but it has been scientifically proven to have a higher IQ than Justin Bieber.

Dozy-looking individual, isn't he?

Whitebait
     Another pet hate of some people.  "I can't stand them!" they chirrup.  "All those dead white eyes, looking at you, looking at you beadily  all the time."
     Hardly.  There's no eyes left to beadle when you've scoffed the lot, mixed in with a bit of flour and lemon juice.

Anna!  Avert your eyes!

So - Tanks?
     Yes indeed.  Here we have the Lynx, the final evolved version of the German Panzer Mk. II.

This year's Spring colours, dahling

     This is a tank that was obsolete by 1941.  It's only saving grace was speed, because with speed it could get out of trouble.  Except with this version the armour had been increased so it was rather on the sluggish side.  It had a 20mm cannon, unchanged since September 1939 - oops!  everyone else's tanks had become invulnerable to a feeble 20mm cannon by 1941, let alone 1943, when it came into production.  Oh, and the German designers gave it overlapping road wheels, which jam with snow, ice, mud or rocks.  Truly, yesterday's technology tomorrow!

* Called "Out Of The Deeps" in America.  Just so you know.
**  You can comment via the "Comment" function, you know.  I won't faint.