Today's Theme - Evil Plants!

Maybe With A Cute Puppy Thrown In
     "Convolvulus" thought Conrad on his way in to work this morning.
     Where this came from is anybody's guess, perhaps my antennae* were picking up the Chelsea Flower Show**.
     Yes, Convulvulus is a flower, known colloquially as "bindweed" or "morning glory".  Mostly known to gardeners as a weed.  Here is one:

This, mind you, is the well-behaved cultivated variety, not it's yahoo relatives.

Nux Vomica
     From the quite attractive to the hideously awful.  Where does strychnine come from? pondered Conrad.  He seemed to recall a plant called "Nux Vomica" associated with strychnine, and a quick Google confirmed that Strychnos Nux Vomica is indeed the source of strychnine.

If you see these - run!

     The compound is derived from the seeds that grow within the fruit pictured above, and to be poisoned by strychnine is apparently one of the worst types of poisoning you can suffer.  "Excurciatingly painful and protracted" just about sums it up.

Rafflesia Arnoldii
     I remember this one from primary school because of the splendid colloquial name given to it: "Stinking Corpse Lily".  Here the fella is, so you can judge the size:

Stinking Corpse Lily-wrestling: obscure sport No. 23

Big and beefy.  That's not simply metaphor because, to attract pollinators, the flower gives of the smell of rotting flesh.  Huge, ugly and smelly.  If it were an animal it would be a walrus.

Datura
     Another septic bubble of recollections came to the fore of Conrad's brain, unless he was picking up Radio Four and Gardener's Question Time ('with Professor Alan Gemmell').  "Another toxic plant - Datura".

The beauty that conceals evil within ...

Some idiots choose to eat this sleeping monster because of the hallucinogenic qualities it has.  They ought to know the full library of effects, though, as this includes: hyperthermia, tachycardia, mydriasis, photophobia, erratic behaviour and amnesia.  Oh, and death.  Let's not forget that.

And Now - 
     Phew!  The blog has been a bit grim so far.  Let us lighten the mood with PUPPEH***!

Edna.  Fagged-out at a guess otherwise she wouldn't be sitting so still.

Okay, no more 'Oooohing' or 'Ahhhing'.  Move along now!

Thank You Thalia!  Also First Bus
     Thalia -  the muse of Comedy.  I know, I know, a blog about interstellar invasion, tanks and poisonous flowers is kind of reaching to claim "comedy" status, but we try, dear reader, we do try.
     Anyway, in the gathering dusk I witnessed a First Bus bus whiz by, the legend "Danielle Steel" inscribed along it's side.  Thanks to lighting and angle, not to mention the driver's splendid disregard for petty things like passenger safety or speed limits, I couldn't make out any more than that name.
     "Obviously,"I mused, "obviously, this is a spoof spy fillum.  "Danielle Steele" is the iron-hard secret agent working for MIS, designated Agent 00H."

Like this, but less sexy.  Ah, let's face it, all female spies can only be less sexy than Emma.

:(  Sadly this is about as wide of the mark as it's possible to be.  Apparently Ms Steel is a best-selling author of romantic fiction - two words that guarantee Conrad's etiolated fingers will never crack open the covers of one of her books.
     Still, it's nice to hear of an author being successful.  I predict great things for that newcomer J.J. Rowling.


*  Selenium-coated platinum microfilaments embedded in the mastoid process.  Just FYI.
**  I know it's not on now - but there is time-travel, you know.
***  Am I being too "street"?