Labrit!

Or, "Good Morning!" In Latvian
     Why?  Why not!
     One reason is because the pronunciation is easy.  Conrad knows umpteen Latin phrases that he dare not utter in public because (gasp!) he doesn't know how to pronounce them.  Imagine that you aren't clued-up on your ancient Greek philosophers and encountered the name "Socrates".  How would you pronounce it?  No, not "Soh-Kratz".  "Sock-rat-eez", thanks.  How about "Xenophon" or "Alcibiades"?
     Dead languages; a living minefield.

Socrates: inventor of philosophy and the toga party.

Misericorde
     As part of BOOJUM!'s ongoing efforts to broaden your intellectual compass, dear readers, I offer you this word.
     Obviously - obviously! - this refers to a late Medieval or early Renaissance keyboard instrument, one where the strings are plucked rather than struck, similar in size to the spinet or virginal rather than the larger and more complex harpsichord.
     What's that?
     It's not?  It's a species of dagger?
     Welllll perhaps you could make music by hitting two of them together?

I bet you could manage a C Sharp with these*

Bus Poster Muse Does Not Amuse
     Tut, Bus Poster Muse! I need more to work with than "Nana's Kitchen".

Seconds later, she ate the photographer

On the other hand, perhaps Nana is a bit naughty on the side.  Quite bad.  In fact, positively eeeevil.  You know the kind, they rub their hands together and cackle a lot - which probably enables CID to track them down very quickly, especially if the Mystery Team are in town.
     So.  Evil Nana's Kitchen - full of torture implements, with Hansel and Gretel over in a cage in the corner**, and the pantry full of kittens and puppies stolen from their owner's backyards, and tins full of chlorine triflouride and Devil's Venom Rocket Fuel*** ("Puts Your Food Into Orbit!"), all the cutlery rusty and nicked, all the crockery unwashed with stains that look suspiciously like blood -
     Much better!  Almost as interesting as the Dangerous Kitchen here at BOOJUM! Mansion.

The Dangerous Kitchen after the Mercury Azide exploded

A Bit Of Musical Criticism
     No, Conrad isn't going to ladle molten sulphur over that completely innocent musical pairing Simon and Garfunkel.  As promised, today we target - Lemon Jelly!
     I decided not to use the track "Experiment Number Six" as this features someone taking a drug, describing the experience - and then dying.  Which is a buzzkill any way you look at it.  Thanks, Lemon and Jelly.
     No!  Come back!  I'll be funny and frothy again!
     Okay, I've decided to pick on "In The Bath".  Here are the lyrics:

What do you do?

What do you do, in the bath?

Oh

What do you do, in the bath?

Oh

What do you do, in the bath?

What do you do, in the bath?

And that's it.
     Oh, Mister Simon and Mister Garfunkel?  You can come back now, all is forgiven.  Unless Mister Lemon and Mister Jelly can claim they're being all existential and - er - um - oh I give up.  Next!


Instant Obelisk
     Now I think of it, this would be an excellent name for a band.  Imagine it, the support act disappears, the smoke machines start, "Also Spracht Zarathustra" comes over the sound system, the curtain goes up and -
     - <Mister Hand points out we're getting well off-topic>
     Ahem.  Yes.  Whilst visiting a local shopping emporium, what did Conrad espy outside but a collection of - "Instant Obelisks".
     Say what?  W.O.E.?

It does look like a wireframe graphic from an 80's computer game.  Hang on - Mister Hand?

In it's natural habitat

Erected in the garden, they - well, I suppose they allow various creeping vines to engulf them.  So these are garden artefacts.  I see now.  I kind of expected a papier-mache version of this:

"Warning:  not suitable for gardens with a southern exposure or liable to high winds."

Finally
     As you, gentle reader, are well aware, BOOJUM! is committed to enabling the appreciation of ugly or unloved  animals whose name begins with "W".  With the walrus, this is a  bit of a struggle.  The reason why:

And this is from Googling "Cute walrus"

But the struggle is not in vain!  There are other like-minded souls out there!

I haven't read it, but come one!  How could Conrad pass up a title like that!

Ata!
     Which is Latvian for "Goodbye"


* Did you see what I did there?  Knives?  Sharp?  Shar - O you did.
**  That trick with the chicken bone won't work.  Nana's got glasses now.
*** Surprise!  This stuff actually exists.  Probably invented by bored chemists looking to create a compound "that's not just dangerous!  It's stupidly dangerous!"