I Am A Camera

Except Pretty Obviously I'm Not
     

This is me with a camera.  Plus an awesome hat.

     Ah, the perils of choosing a blog title from a random page in the Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable.  "I Am A Camera" is from Christopher Isherwood and his Berlin diary, being a book that inspired the film "Cabaret" which Conrad will never, ever see*.

300 - Rise Of An Empire
     Ah, the ever-reliable bus poster as a stimulus MORE RELIABLE THAN THE BLOODY BUSES THEMSELVES I CAN TELL YOU - er - yes, quite. The bus poster <pauses to see if Rage turns up again> caught my eye.

Did the ancient Greeks possess compound recurved bows?  I think not!

One can see the Hollywood suit influence here quite clearly.  
First suit: "We gotta have a link to that other one, even though they all got killed.  Let's call it "3,000" 'cos that way it's ten times more awesome!"  
Second suit:"Nah we got it covered.  Focus groups, peer assessment, market research, bribery and goat entrails all underscore "Birth of an Empire."
First Suit:" I can't even call it "600"?  Cos -
Second Suit:"Dude, we already printed the posters."

Entropy. Or, Why Your Bedroom Is Such A Mess
     The concept of entropy entails that disorder is always increasing in systems, described as the possible number of (thermo-dynamic) variations within that system.  Ultimately all systems will reach thermodynamic equilibrium, having maximum entropy - and by this I mean the whole universe will be a completely uniform ylem with absolutely nothing happening.

Ylem.  Much like sago pudding

     A cheery thought!  Don't worry, it won't happen for simply ages and ages.
     "Yes, Conrad, pretty brain-stretching.  What does it have to do with my bedroom being a mess?  and how did you know it's a mess?  Are you stalking again, Conrad?  The injunction cle-"
     Cutting off this tangential remark, regard your bedroom.  There are a very limited number of ways that it can be arranged neatly and tidily, aren't there?

Spartan**.  Austere.  Tidy.  In other words the abode OF A SERIAL KILLER!

On the other hand there are so many, many ways to have it hideously untidy -

The natural order of things

Clearly, given the nature of disorder to increase in a system, it is far, far more natural to have your Upstairs Lair looking like someone emptied a skip into it, than have it be tidy.

Dangerous Chemicals!
     BOOJUM! introduced you last week to the hellish compound Chlorine Triflouride.  The pair of idiots who invented this stuff must be getting bathed with it in the Twenty-Seventh Circle of Hell.

"I find it a delightful after-dinner digestif."

But behold!  This is not the most frightening chemical compound ever dreamed up by a bored chemist working late shift in the lab.    For your delectation I give the link:

http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/things_i_wont_work_with/

There are compounds so toxic, explosive, reactive, mutagenic and downright *£%##ing dangerous that sensible chemists will not work with them.  Kind of how no actor wants to work with Gary Busey.  Except he doesn't explode.  Well, not much anyway.

Whoops!  There he goes again.  Second time this week.

And Finally -
     I know what you're thinking**.  Ha!  Gotcha!  No pictures of cute puppies.  No, today we continue to try and apply a little emotional balance into the lives of those unfortunate and unloved animals whose names begin with "W".
     Behold the Walrus:

Eeek!  World's worst vampire!

     A creature only a mother could love.  Huge - at 2 tonnes apiece, Valentina, they make you look slim and dainty - with a set of whiskers that make mine look meagre, and with gigantic tusks that appear to have no useful function at all (barring Twilight fan's rapt attention), this feast of a beast is pining for your affection. Yes, yes, I know the Beatles sang about it.  One song!
     So.  Please, find a place in your heart for Odobensus Rosmarus!
     (Latin for "Walrus".  Do keep up!)

*  It's a musical.  I shall say no more
** Do you see!  Do see what I did there!  Sparta?  300? Aren't I - O you did.
***  There was no third asterisk.  Just testing