Today Has A Theme - No.

Yes It's Rare, But BOOJUM! Does Occasionally Manage It
     This theme was triggered by a whacking great hoarding that displayed an advert for the film "Noah".

Noah-scape from the Flood, miladdoe!

     Conrad - being inquisitive, cynical and, above, an evil alien spy - wondered about this film.  You know how it goes - Noah, a burned-out ex-secret service agent, gets tasked by his friend into guarding a football player, except the job -
     - whoops, no, that's "The Last Boy Scout", isn't it?
     Okay.  Noah.  He foresees a great flood, probably with a capital "T", builds a giant ship to survive it and takes along two of every kind of animal, flood - sorry, "Flood" - arrives, Noah & mates survive, everyone else drowns, they find dry land, the end.
     There are some serious plot holes here.  I wonder if they'll be addressed?
     1)  A ship so big it can accommodate not just all the animals but their habitat and food would be the size of a supertanker.  To be built out of wood.  How far in advance did Noah begin building?  Two decades?  Three?  How big was his workforce?  How did he pay them?

A 1/10th scale replica

     2)  All the animals in the world.  Let us imagine that this film is set in the Middle East of Biblical times.  Where do they get the pangolin or kiwi from?  Does Noah have an army of fauna collectors worldwide, and why only two of each animal?  What if one dies?  What if they both die?  Would not a larger breeding colony be desirable to avoid an insufficiently large gene pool?  Am I over-analysing this?
     3)  To avoid inbreeding and the consequences amongst humans of an insufficiently diverse gene pool, Noah is going to have to take along a big-ass collection of humans, preferably not ones directly related to each other.  These people have to repopulate the world, remember.  There will have to be hundreds of them.  Yes, I am over-analysing this.  Sorry.
     Then there's the tagline: "The end of the world - is just the beginning!"
     No, I think you'll find the end of the world is, genuinely, the end of the world. If Noah et al survive - then it wasn't the end of the world!

Ha!  Survive that, Noah!

No-Face
     This is a character from the greatest animated film ever made, "Spirited Away".  You can only argue that it is perhaps primus inter pares with "Howl's Moving Castle", otherwise the exit door is over there, chum.

L to R:  Chihiro, No-Face and a - er - hmm, I'm really not sure.

     Chihiro accidentally lets No-Face into the bath-house, where she/he/it eventually gorges themself into a monster of gargantuan dimensions, until Chihoro purges he/it/she with a - 
    - well, that would be a spoiler.  Go see the film*.

Doctor No
     Ah, the one that started it all 52 years ago!  Wonder Wifey will spit venom at this since she founded the James Bond Must DIE! blog a few years back.
     Let us nevertheless look back at 1962 and the very first James Bond film.  I won't bother with a picture of Sean Connery as James, you're all so familiar with that already.  Instead here is Joseph Wiseman as Doctor No:

"No, Mister Bond.  I expect you to dine!"

     You may not know this, but the bad doctor's first name is Julian, his mother was Chinese and his father German.  SInce his father rejected him, Jules (we his friends can call him that) adopted the surname "No".
     Now, don't forget that this film is titled after the bad guy.  Inside every clown a Hamlet, inside every boy scout an evil mastermind**.

No Country For Old Men
     Yes, another film, and another film adapted from a book.  I have read "The Road" and "All The Pretty Horses" by Cormac McCarthy, and bloody hell he is hard work.  In fact I have to confess I gave up on ATPH, despite hearing it being described in glowing terms on "A Good Read" on Radio 4 several years ago.

How old is "Old"?  That's a moveable feast if ever there was one!

     In this case you, dear reader, may benefit from the experience of Conrad and avoid the written works of Mr McCarthy, being sure only to watch the films of his works.

Just To Be Perverse -

Take that, common sense!

Noh Theatre
     This is a traditional Japanese theatre, and when I say "traditional", it has a history that pre-dates Shakespeare.  Formally, it consists of five plays, interspersed with parodies or skits***, and could take all day to perform.  Nowadays in the neon-tinted amphetamine-lifestyle of Japan, the plays are curtailed to only a couple.
     "Cast Rehearsal", "blocking" and "direction" are all completely foreign to Noh.  The cast do not rehearse together.  Players only do a single rehearsal.  The whole ensemble is a transient phenomenon, which is the ethos of the play.
     I was going to break down the Noh play in a bit more detail, but unfortunately for a blog that does not swear, the premier cast members are called a word in Japanese that rhymes with "bright", begins with the letter "s" and refers to excrement.
     Still, here's a picture:

"Knit one, purl one ..."

No Cold Dog
     As the weather at present can be cold and wet and windy and raining and hailing and snowing all at the same time, we have to ensure that Edna is soundly wrapped-up:

So clever she put it on herself.

No Cars Go
     A track by Arcade Fire from their album "Neon Bible" and probably my favourite track.

Conrad will stoop to exploit any creature for his blog!  Also, notice cars not going.

So - Tanks?
     No.

* NOW!
** Especially if there's a secret volcano lair thrown in
***  The Greeks used to do it.  I've seen Diana Dors in one such skit, using a telephone.