No! Not The Film
Which was, incidentally, re-titled as "Hell In Korea" for South Canadian audiences, to slake their thirst for blood, one presumes.
It's also notable for the film debut of one Michael Caine, as 'National Serviceman Private Lockyer'. Art!
This is a touch of irony, since Ol' Mike had actually done his National Service (British for 'Conscription') in Korea during the war there. Art!
Spot Ol' Mike*
Since this was four years before he became an actor, and a good 13 years before he became famous, there was no special treatment and his life was on the line on sev
ANYWAY Your Humble Scribe was busy wondering what to put in this Intro whilst walking Edna earlier this morning, during 'Thinking Time', and I recalled that we'd mentioned China in relation to North Korea, which led me to muse on the border between the two nations. Art!
You can tell this is an old map as it still has 'USSR' on it
Here you can see the demarcation line between the two countries, and even the tiny sliver of border with Russia, top starboard. For most of the border, it's defined by the Tumen and Yalu Rivers. The Yalu originates atop Paektu Mountain (okay, okay, I lied about the hill. Wait a minute - poetic licence. Yeah, poetic licence). Art!
This is Heaven Lake, source of the Yalu, which sits in the caldera of Paektu, because it's actually an extinct volcano.
Predictably, this part of the border is not fenced or guarded because transit at this point would be ridiculously difficult. In fact the border is very long, 870 miles to be exact, and up until recently has been described as 'porous'. China has begun to put up fencing in a few areas known for being primary defection routes, but the whole process has been rather half-hearted and subject to the weather-cock attitudes between Beijing and Pyongyang (the Nork's capital). Fences go up when China gets fed up with the Nork's behaviour (especially testing nuclear missiles), and stop when The Only Fat Man In North Korea tries to mend bridges**.
You see, China is considerably less worried about Pyongyang's nuclear missile program than it is about Nork stability. The fear in Beijing for decades has been that a collapse of the Nork regime would lead to an influx of millions of starving Norks into the Chinese border regions; given how minimally the border is policed and protected on the Chinese side, this may a realistic worry. Art!
"Here we see an elite unit of the Nork Border Guards on patrol"
Whether or not this would ever happen is debatable, since the famine that killed possibly two million Norks in the Nineties didn't trigger a mass exodus across the Yalu. Which might explain the lack of security, because what is possible is not always probable. On the other hand, China does have plans to create five refugee camps Just In Case.
Right, I think that's enough geography for one day, let's move on.
Things That Came
(or, rather, didn't). Conrad has been re-watching that Thirties epic, "Things To Come", and broached the subject yesteryon with it's portrayal of military technology, to wit the Vickers Medium Mk. II. Art!
Then these things appear. The setting for the war is 'Everytown', which Conrad supposes is a rather bland metaphor for 'Somewhere In England', so it's not clear where these bizarre objects appear from. Let's get a closer look at an individual model. Art!
A species of self-propelled gun, it would seem. Not only does it lack a turret, making it inferior to the mighty Vickers Medium, it also lacks a co-axial, pintle or hull-mounted machine gun, again making it less capable than the VM. Thanks to it's strange design, part of the lower hull is exposed to enemy fire. It reminds me of a Teuton design from the Second Unpleasantness. Art!
The Ferdinand: enormous main gun, no machine guns.
I rest my case.
Actually, no, I don't. One of the things that TTC gets wrong is their assumption that gas warfare will immediately be part of the wider war and especially when Everytown is bombed. This never happened in the Second Unpleasantness, as we now know. Art!
Conrad noticed something rather odd about the title. Art!
That 'G' looks suspiciously like a 'C'
O Delicious Schadenfreude!
Apparently there was a ballfoot game between The Manchester United and New Castles at the weekend, which the Castle team won. The BBC then allowed a Commentary to be opened on this particular game, much to Conrad's delight. Before posting one Comment I need to point out that 'Bruno Fernandes' was the 'Captain' of The Manchester United, and apologies for getting so technical.
Reward offered. Contact Mr Ten Hag, Old Trafford.
Hmmmmm people seem to dislike the poor chap. ANYWAY
"The Sea Of Sand"
The Doctor has been surrounded by a throng of rebellious bio-vores on their homeworld, who eagerly lap up his rhetoric.
‘A few of your friends helped to
set me free. Allow me to guess – you are the peasant
population of this world, and you have finally begun to resist your lords and
masters? Armed insurrection? Revolt?’
This was far better than using a crude bomb to destroy their
Earth-terminus trans-mat! No “mere blind
bashing” indeed!
The
bio-vore’s appearance confirmed what he suspected: their assorted harvesting
tools and equipment had been adapted to become lethal weapons, knives, pikes,
scythes, hammers and other offensive hardware.
A development straight out of Chinese peasant resistance. A few stunners or shard-throwers were also in
evidence, probably booty from slain Warriors.
‘Word
has reached us that you accuse the aristocrats of being responsible for
reducing Homeworld to this - ’ and Imgelissa gestured at the wasted lands
around about ‘ – whilst pretending that it is not their fault, that they are
fated to rule Homeworld regardless of what they do.’
With
a touch of steel in his tone, the Doctor informed the audience of what he
extrapolated about the littoral aristocracy.
How they had despoiled their own world, then sought to export that
misery to other worlds, all to avoid having to face the consequences of their
own actions.
You tell 'em!
An Embarrassment Of Hitches
You will, undoubtedly, have seen and heard about Citizen Trump being indicted come tomorrow in New York, when we may find out what the 34 charges are.
Here an aside. Youtube vlogger Farron Balanced, who is not a lawyer but who has worked with them for years, estimated that from the original offences an attorney could, stretching a lot, have come up with 8 charges. Thus - what on earth are the extra ones?
ANYWAY what I wanted to bring up is another, civil, trial that will be taking place later this month, involving Darth Marmalade and a lady called E. Jean Carroll. This is the actual trial, not an indictment that could lead to a court date six months to a year later. Art!
EJC in the Nineties
She alleges sexual battery, which Trump denies. The thing is - this would be an incredibly difficult case to prove after thirty years.
Unless EJC has DNA evidence.
Let's leave to our imaginations where this might come from because some things once seen cannot be unseen. Notably Citizen Trump has refused to provide the prosecution with a sample of his DNA, until the deadline for submission was past. He also claimed she 'wasn't his type' and then mis-identified a picture of her as one of his ex-wives.
Bring on the bucket of popcorn ...
Finally -
Conrad is going to scrape the bristles and then go down and process a portion of the Ukrainian Borscht he made last night, for which photographic evidence will be provided tomorrow.
Until then!
* Top row, second from the right.
** This is a metaphor. Although bridges built to sustain the weight of puny malnourished Norks might indeed struggle to cope with TOFMINK's bulk.
