A Report - About Sport

Do Not Panic, Gentle Reader!
Your Humble Scribe has not been substituted by some sinister shapeshifting alien typist.  If you have read BOOJUM! for any length of time then you know Conrad has Absolutely No Interest in sport of any description, thinks the Carabao Cup is something to do with drinking chocolate, and has taken 51 years to learn what the offside rule is.
     However -
     - I am as thoroughly unpleasant as you can imagine, and derive immense amusement from reading the screeching diatribes hammered out by ballfoot game fans on the BBC's Have Your Say sections of their website.

Like having a refreshing bathe in a river of poisons

     And I do really mean "hammered".  Some of these people are so angry they must need a new laptop the next day.  
     I am gleeful because <checks headline> "Arsenal beat -" <checks again> " - beat Newcastle to move above -" <continues checking as none of this makes any sense to him> " - above Spurs and Man Utd into third."

Ha!  Take that, you Spurs!

     Does that mean anything to you?  Anyway, the critical thing is that there are already over 250 comments, or 25 pages of bilious ranting and tanting, for Conrad to chortle his way through.  You find, I have found, that people being sporting and actually complimenting the other side are exceptionally rare.
     Perfectly delicious stuff!*
     At this point we will send the motley down the stairs backward on it's stomach, propelled on a tea-tray.

There Is More
And we have to touch on Barcelona again.  More specifically, the 1992 Olympic Stadium, past which we whizzed on our Ho-Ho bus tour.  Conrad didn't bother even lifting his phone to take a photo, he was that un-enthused.
     Of course, this meant I didn't get to take a photograph of what I can only describe as the "Montjuic Space Needle", which Art will now illustrate.   Art?

The aliens have landed!**

     This is actually a broadcasting tower, used to send out televisual images from the 1992 Ol wre r
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     Oh!  Sorry, I dozed off from boredom.  Yeah, a broadcasting tower, known as the Torre Calatrava, after the designer.  It's supposed to be something to do with an <pinches self REALLY HARD to stop falling asleep> athlete bearing a torch.  Looks more like a prototype FTL starship about to launch.
     You may not know anything about art, yet you have to admit it looks pretty spectacular, in a good way.

Did I Mention A River Of Poisons?
I did, that was merely a rhetorical question.  Well, never mind a natural confluence of lethal liquids moving along a bed established via erosion over time (a.k.a. a river), how about a FOUNTAIN OF POISON!  Art?
    

"Mercure" - this would cure all your worldly ills for certain!

     We have mentioned this particular - ah - "installation" - before.  It's a mobile sculpture that uses mercury as the fluid component, rather than boring old fuddy-duddy water.  Mercury being both incredibly toxic and yet attractive to small children (and adults who ought to know better), the whole thing is hermetically sealed off behind thick plastic screens.
     Verrrrry cool to see it in action, even though it has only faint association with Ol' Jo. 

  

"Lovers playing with an almond blossom"

If you say so, Jo.  A huge resin sculpture, both these amorous types are bigger than Conrad, who is no mere stripling.                                                                            

      There we have today's allocation of Barcelonan art.  I hope you're not bored, as there's  LOTS more to come.  By the time BOOJUM! is finished with this topic you'll either be desperate to visit the city or so jaded that you'll feel you've already spent weeks there.*** And no, the Catalan Tourist Board is not paying me anything.

 

 

Back To A More Parochial Visit

The Staffordshire Regimental Museum, of  course!  Don't cry, it doesn't become you.  Besides, I've nearly exhausted the supply of photographs that I took, so there is relief in prospect.

 

 

     That top picture is about the amalgamation of the North and South Staffs into the single Staffordshire Regiment, which is now the Mercian Regiment.  It doesn't do to mourn the passing of a regiment in the British Army, which has been amalgamating regiments since the year dot, as politicians and bean counters and accountants variously dispose.
     I would like to call your attention to what looks like a 21st Century sundial, left of centre in the big photo and with an enlargement all of it's own, slightly blurred by Conrad's shaky paws.  Art?

A sundial.  Of little use in the Pond of Eden, I fear.

     In fact, "sundial" is pretty close to the truth.  It's actually a sun compass, for the purpose of discerning where you are and where you're going.  I can tell in advance what your objection is going to be -
     "But Conrad, why would a functionally-equipped 21st Century army use a primitive sundial when they could be using real compasses?"

A compass.  Just so we're clear.

     Metal, is the answer.  A compass, being magnetic, will react to being sat in a vehicle that mostly consists of steel.  Art?

Like one of these
(ignore the lions!  ignore the lions!)

     Ralph Bagnold, desert navigation pioneer and influencer of NASA's planned exploration of Mars (seriously!), came up with the sun compass, which is entirely unaffected by magnetism.  Art?

1942 vintage in action

     You could use a normal compass for desert navigation but you'd need to get out of your vehicle and walk a very long way off to ensure  there was no external magnetic influence, which is highly inconvenient, not to mention time-consuming, and it makes you vulnerable.  Plus you'd probably need a buddy to go with you whilst your eyes and attention were focussed on the dial -
     So - the sun compass!
A Ship's Compass
As one thing leads inevitably to another, I am minded of a quote from Biggles, about taking apart a ship's compass.  He cautions Ginger: "Compasses are tricky things.  I once took one apart and had enough pieces left over, when I put it back together, to make two wireless sets and a gramophone player." Art?
       
                                    
                                               I need not point out which is which, need I?
     Conrad is not sure how a ship's compass avoids that magnetic deviation, since the bigger kind of ships are, once again, all metal.  Food for thought.  We may come back to this.

     BANDITS AT ANGELS ONE-FIVE OVER BEACHY HEAD!  DO YOU SEE THEM, HUNTER LEADER!

     Oops. Time, I think, to depart! 


*  Also calorie-free, vegan, sustainable and cures male-pattern baldness.
**  Don't worry, when my compatriots do land there won't be ANY doubt about it.
***  Good?  bad?  Only you can tell Of course it's good, it was MY idea!