Join The DOTs

Okay, I Shall Freewheel For A Tad Here

Whilst also needing to pop down to the kitchen to take that pork joint out of the oven, since that Sunday Stew isn't going to cook itself.  Yes, I am writing Tuesday's blog on Sunday as I'm trying to keep 48 hours ahead of time, which is the closest you're going to find to Conrad approaching a work ethic.  

     OKAY Your Humble Scribe is basing this Intro on an entry from another Youtube Reddit compilation, one from 'Reddit Jar' going by the title 'What Made You Quit A Job On The Spot?'  I'm only one-third of the way through and there have been some horrendous tales of - you may be ahead of me here - South Canadian employers.  Whom frequently seem unable to distinguish between 'worker' and 'paid slave'.  Art!

     What's colloquially known as an 18-wheeler, although this elongated version seems more like a 36-wheeler.  The point still stands, though, because these steel beasts haul cargoes of at least 20 tons, and can hit 60 PROUD IMPERIAL miles per hour on highways, meaning - 

     You want to ensure the driver isn't suffering from a serious medical condition that might induce blackouts, coma, heart attacks or a reallllly bad tickly cough.

     Stick a pin in this intro to the Intro, we'll be coming back to it.  Art!

     Meet an autoclave, which is a verrrry basic piece of medical kit that is used to sterilise used instruments such as scalpels.  It generates high-pressure steam at up to 135º Centigrade, which kills off all the micro-organisms that might be lurking on the used kit.  Again, we'll refer to this later.

     So!  The narrator of this tale is Honest IncorruPtible Physician Assistant, hereafter HIPPA- O I say what a coincidence! - whom took a position in an urgent care facility, which is one step up from a GP and one step below the Intensive Care Unit, or Emergency Room in South Canadian parlance.  Art!

     HIPPA began to notice things agley, as Rabbie Burns used to say.  Supplies oftenran short and much of their drug supply was out of date, which she put down to the office manager not being on the ball.  So, as an honest person would do, she took the issue up with the doctor who owned the facility, whom I shall dub Doctor Dudley Do-wrong, or DDD for short..  He told her he would personally sort it out.

     Enter Enabling Medical Assistant, hereafter EMA.  She told HIPPA that these problems had been going on forever, that nothing would change and that they had been told NEVER to throw drugs away when their date expired.  So, EMA knew all about the problems but lacked the courage or morals to do anything about them?  Sounds like Urgent Careless to me.  Art!

What they were lacking

     EMA also informed HIPPA that the autoclave was broken and didn't work properly, so they reported it to the State Medical Board.  No, only joking, they washed used medical kit in soap and water and then put it in the autoclave whilst wishing really really hard that it worked.

     'Twas at this point that HIPPA decided that she wasn't going to be in UC the next day.  That night she informed the State Medical Board of the general lack of compliance with basic medical health standards.

     One suspects that the SMB already had their suspicions about DDD and his dodgy practices, as they raided UC the very next day and immediately shut it down.  Ooops.  Art!

     As HIPPA gleefully informs, the SMB found so many egregious violations that they not only permanently closed the UC, they suspended DDD's licence.  Another Oooops.  Getting a licence back is neither easy, cheap nor quick.

     But hist! for there is more.  "He was also prosecuted on federal charges because he was running a scam for truck driver physical exams".  Meaning that truck drivers who had no business being behind the wheel were able to get a Pass from the Department Of Transport (hence 'DOT') and continue driving.  

     HIPPA gives no clue to where these events took place, nor what DDD's real name was, or even a date, but the federal courts take an extremely dim view of allowing a 30-ton roadborne mallet to get up to 60 mph when the driver might keel over dead at any moment.  Sentences can be up to 5 years in jail and/or a $250,000 fine.  More Ooops on top of Ooops.  One suspects that licence isn't getting reinstated any time in the next decade.

     Altogether now - HIPPA HIPPA HOORAY!

Road safety award?

Things Exploding!

As you should surely know by now, Conrad retains the gleeful enthusiasm of a teenage schoolboy when it comes to Things Exploding, and the bigger the explosion the better.  Therefore I Favourited a film clip from the BBC featuring a Pennsylvania bridge being explosively demolished.  Art!

     Those boxes conceal and protect the explosive cutting charges.  Unlike some demolitions, this one doesn't seem to have an attendant audience nearby and is being filmed remotely.  Note the amount of charges and their placement: this bridge is not being made to drop into it's footprint thanks to gravity, it's going to be blown into very small pieces.  Art!

     Ignition!  Actually the arch supports seem to be going first, if only by a fraction of a second.  Art!

     Everything explodes everywhere all at once.  Art!

     From above.  This is the old Commercial Street Bridge going down in smithereens, and the one you can see alongside it is the replacement one, ready to be slid into position.  You will note the fabric coverage to prevent spall causing damage.

I Dub You The 'Daily Sluggard'

Yes, Conrad is taking aim at the 'Daily Express', which ONCE AGAIN is trying to hook people in with clickbait items, which is very bad behaviour when other people attempt it, since it is entirely fair if Conrad does it.  Because I say so, before you ask.  Art!

     The series is 'Our Friends In The North' and yes I have seen it, many many years ago.  It's set in Tyneside, where they talk funny, although less funny thanks to series like this.  Daniel Craid, yes, also Mark Strong and the delicious Gina McKee er that is the fine actress Gina Mckee.  Art!

     Saved you clicking a bait.

I Am Minded Of 'Thunderbirds'

We've avoided ladling opprobrium over the Boorish Orange Oaf Himself for a couple of days, so Conrad returns to the fray energised and fresh, and here's a title for you.  Art!

Scowly and jowly!

     Hilariously, the article makes certain to inform readers SIX times that the opinions expressed by The Doctor - no, not that Doctor - are his own and not official or backed by a medical examination, so keen are they to avoid being sued by The Nodfather.

     Where does 'Thunderbirds' come in?  O I thought you'd never ask!  One consistent line in the scripts is a variant on 'She's/it/we're not going to make it!' followed by a disaster that only International Rescue can remedy.  Art!

     No jokes about Commercial Street, thank you, this is serious stuff and lives are at stake.
     An item that moves from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Surely Some Mistake?

As they used to say in 'Private Eye', except they used a drunken variant that I cannot remember how to spell as it's years since I read an issue of the libel-baiting rag.  

     ANYWAY here's another What On Earth? moment from Twitter, where the algorithm has been either drinking or smoking illegal substances.  Art!

     Why is it blue?  Why is there a horse?  Who could possibly need one of these in their garden?  Art!

     Clearly, the cultural reach of the Doctor Who serial 'Colony In Space' was long indeed, except this IMC skid steer was also capable of being programmed for murder.  Probably not what you want to retail on Temu, really.  

Finally -

Wonder Wifey, quite by chance, came across an edition of Edgar Allen Poe's short stories, possibly ninety years old, which she got for a pittance.  Art!

     Conrad was allowed to touch and look and then sternly warned off.