We Three

Today's Intro

Is all about numbers, but not nine: I've moved on from there and today we are going to be looking at the number Three, which is why I've just capitalised it.  In fact I just had to go back and embolden the title by clicking on it three times.  How poetic is that!  Even though I hate poetry.  And maths makes my head hurt.  Art!

     If you have any complaints about novelty or creativity, never forget that the Remote Nuclear Tormentor stands ever ready to inflict hideous pain on ungrateful readers.  I mean, it's not as if you pay to read this scrivel, is it?

     ANYWAY here we go.  

     Three has all sorts of associations with theology, especially in Christianity and the Holy Trinity.  Man, and also woman, was believed to exist as a threefold entity: mind, body and spirit.  The three principal Christian values were held to be Faith, Hope and Charity - cue that hilarious skit in 'Red Dwarf'  and yes that makes me a terrible person.  The three principal evils were: the world, the flesh and the Devil.  No mention of mobile phones or pineapples.  Art!

     I shudder to include the Barf Of Avon here, or indeed anywhere, but I got 'Macbeth' dinned into me so much for 'O' levels that it's hard to forget.  What does Ol' Macky get up to on the blasted moor?  Why, he goes to consult with a trio of witches, who asked the question:

"When shall we three meet again,

In thunder, lightning or in rain."

     Given that this is Britain we're talking about, Rain is a 99% chance.  Art!

     Get ready for a whole lot of Roman mythology.  It held that the world was divided into three parts: Jupiter ruled the heavens, Neptune ruled the sea and Pluto bossed it over Hades.  Prior to that, Pythagoras believed that Three held power since it constituted a beginning, middle and end in as elegant a way as possible.  Art!

Ol' Py face

     Those three gods were variously equipped with triple accoutrements.  Jupiter had triple lightning bolts, Neptune had a trident (Latin for 'three teeth') and Pluto had a three-headed dog.  Vet fees must have been exorbitant.

     There are other Roman triples.  They had three Fates, whose job it was to monitor the birth, life and death of everyone.  I wonder what their job spec said about working hours?  ANYWAY they were Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos, the last of whom inspired 'Atropine'.  Art!

     Whilst the Fates might be held as dispassionate, the Furies were another ball game entirely.  Their origin is disputed; their modus operandi is not, since they were utterly ruthless punishers of those who merited vengeance being visited upon them.  Even being dead didn't stop their punishment, which seems a bit harsh to me.  Being in Hades is punishment enough.  ANYWAY AGAIN they were Tisiphone, the 'Avenger of Blood'; Alecto 'The Implacable'; Megaera 'The Jealous', which last may be the origin of the 'Green eyed monster' aphorism.  Art!

     Counterbalancing these three termagants, there were also three Graces: Aglaia, Thalia and Euphrosyne.  They were responsible for bestowing charm and beauty upon humans and represented both qualities to the utmost.  Art!

     A lot easier on the eye than the Furies, I'm sure you'll agree, unless you have a fetish for bat wings.  

     Carrying on with the theme of three females with wings, we now come to the three Harpies.  They were Aello, Celeno and Ocypete, and they were not lookers.  Not at all.  Art!

     I know, I know, there's only two of them, but it's really difficult to find pictures that are SFW.  They were creatures of disgusting habits, filth and squalor who befouled their general environment, and doubtless passed the port to the right, the swines.  They seem to have a bit of a job overlap with the Furies, as they were sent to molest wrongdoers as a form of divine punishment, so if you were reallllly evil you might get a Fury/Harpy tag team on your glutes.  They were also associated with storms.

     You know which region was never conquered by Rome?  Scandinavia, which is my tenuous link to Norse mythology and Asgard.  There were a trio of gods there dubbed 'The Mysterious Three', which sounds like an Eighties synth-rock band.  I shall explicate them.  Har, which means 'High' in Norse; Jafenhar, which means 'Equally High' and Thridi, meaning - you may be ahead of me here - 'Third'.  Art!

The Mysterons

     Enough of mythology and theology!  Let us proceed with something very material and concrete.

The Three Sisters: you might expect this to be about the Furies or Harpies but NO!  This is the nickname given to three White Star liners laid down early in the twentieth century, one of which you will be familiar with.  They were: RMS 'Olympic', RMS 'Brittanic' and RMS 'Titanic'.  Told you that one would be familiar.  Art!

   

Are You Hungary For More?

The new broom of Peter Magyar continues to sweep clean in Hungary.  So much so that the corrupt elite who clustered around Orban The Weretoad are now  worried about possible confiscation of their ill-gotten goodies.  Art!

     These expensive private jets belong to the Weretoad's dirty, dirty associates and are parked up at the Viennese airport, because if they land at Budapest they are highly likely to be seized and held.  Since the cheapest one of them costs $18 million the risk is not worth it.  Poor money-grubbers, they then have to travel across Austria to access home.

     Magyar also called in the Mordorvian ambassador to shout at him about recent orc drone strikes into the Hungarian-speaking areas of Ukraine close to the Magyar border.  These areas used to be off-limits under Orban as he had been promised them when Ruffia successfully conquered Ukraine.  Which isn't happening any longer.  Art!

As Threatened

Your Humble Scribe has been making noises about doing another All-English Breakfast Pizza again, and using an extra-large base to accommodate more toppings.  Art!

     Sausages, bacon, mushroom and a fried egg centrepiece; I don't like fried tomatoes and baked beans would have rendered it too soggy.  It was too massive to eat in one go, so the other half is back in the fridge to be eaten later this week.

More Ungentle Shoeing

There is some controversy about the veracity of the photo I am about to put up as an illo, with people claiming it's been Photoshopped and others claiming it's entirely genuine.  Whichever is true, it's ghastly picture of the the Big Orange Oaf Himself.  Art!

     He reminds me of a film alien, except gin and old age conspire to prevent me recalling which one.  I may have to Google 'squinty-eyed alien' and see what comes up.  Art!

     Not the one I was thinking of but will do as a placeholder until I get it right.

Progress Report

I have just started another book from my Book Mountain, namely "21 Days In Normandy" by one Angelo Caravaggio.  Art!

     The titular 21 days are how long Major General Kitching lasted in Normandy as OC of the Canuckistanian 4th Armoured Division, before he got sacked for lacking enough 'drive' to close the Falaise Pocket and thus allowing scads of Teutons to escape captivity.  Ol' Al has taken it upon himself to look rather deeper into this matter than the usual passing snide comments and acceptance of prior judgements.  He also mentions Professor John Buckley's 'British Armour In The Normandy Campaign' which earned him a loud 'Hurrah!' and 50 brownie points.
     I'm only 12 pages in and there are 200 to go with 19 (!) Appendices.  I shall let you know how I get on.

Finally - 

Going out with another Biercism.

"Defame, v: To lie about another.  To tell the truth about another."