You'd Be Forgiven For Thinking That I Was Yarking On About -
The Battle of Kursk, July 1943, which has become a touchstone of the Sinister Union and then Mordorvia. To sum up the whole battle would take several whole blogs, so you only get a potted version here.
Picture the scene: Nazi Germany under Herr Schickelgruber had lost the initiative on the Eastern Front and had just suffered swingeing defeats at Stalingrad, El Alamein and the complete loss of North Africa. Ol' Schicky needed to get back in the game and establish dominance, so he was going to attack. Art!
The plan was to attack the Kursk salient, a giant bulge into Teuton lines, from the north and south simultaneously, cutting off the defending troops in an encirclement or 'kessel'.
Unfortunately for the Teutons, the Sinister's were very well aware of their opponent's plans, thanks to a spy ring operating in Germany and carefully collated Enigma information provided from GREAT BRITAIN*. Thus their salient was enormously well-defended. It also helped that Ol' Schicky kept postponing the start date in order to have the newly-developed Panther tanks take part. Art!
The Teuton advances were very limited and came at great cost. They still inflicted more losses than they suffered but we're talking about the Sinister Union here, where human life had little to no value. Then came the counter-attacks, and the strategic initiative on the Eastern Front was permanently lost to the Teutons.
OR I might be talking about the dramatic and sudden irruption across the Ukranian border in August of 2024, when the Kozaky boldly invaded the Kursk oblast. Art!
'Pirozhok' means a small stuffed bun
This hadn't been done since 1945. The Ukrainians wisely kept the operation a total secret from the South Canadians, since the Biden administration was desperately trying to find an 'off-ramp' for Putin, thank you Jake 'The Brake' Sullivan, and would have forbidden it to be carried out. Once it was in progress they instantly cut off all intel to the Ukrainians, a crucial loss.
I remember the televised meeting that Putinpot had with Shoigu and Belousev, with Gerasimov blathering drivel on a wall monitor. Art!
Poor Dimya! He looked as if he had toothache in his anus, so miserable was he. The attack by the Kozaky wasn't a quick raid as in the past, it was a full-on occupation that required all orc reserves to be shifted to counter it. They still have a toe-hold across the border, which orc media are forbidden to mention.
But NO! I am actually whanging on about the Ruffian submarine 'Kursk', which is the subject of another 'Be Amazed' video compilation of horribly expensive mistakes. Conrad recommends this channel as it provides background information and has actually done research on the subject matter. Art!
K-141
Here the Kursk is as it's supposed to be, floating. In August of 2000 it was carrying out training exercises in the Barents Sea, when hydrophones detected an initial explosion, followed by a much larger one, in it's vicinity. The crippled submarine sank in over 300 feet of water, with only 23 of the 118 crew surviving.
Here's when BA gets the facts wrong. They state 'Sadly, international rescue teams failed to reach them in time.' Nope. GREAT BRITAIN* and Norway both immediately offered help in rescuing the trapped crew, only to be refused by the Ruffians. Putin had only just taken power and probably didn't want to look weak by relying on The Hideous West. Ruffian rescue efforts took days to materialise, thanks to incompetence. So the 23 survivors died, too. Art!
This girning bafune is Marshal Igor Sergeyev, chief Ruffian military man at the time, who floated the possibility that the Kursk had hit another submarine - The Hideous West rearing it's alleged head again - or hit a mine or bomb left over from WW2.
In fact a Naval Board found that one of the torpedoes had defective welding, allowing the leak of hydrogen peroxide fuel, which GREAT BRITAIN* abandoned 70 years ago as being too dangerous. It reacts explosively with copper. Guess what had lots of copper content? Art!
Yes, Ruffian torpedoes. The faulty torpedo exploded, which triggered all the other torpedoes to explode, blowing off the bow of the submarine. Fourteen months later the orcs retrieved most of the hull. Art!
It cost a lot to manage this. Art!
Remember, this is Ruffia, so $60 million was embezzled or stolen. The Kursk itself was reckoned to have cost $1 billion to construct, of which $900 million would have been embezzled or stolen, because Italian mansions don't come cheap.
'Monte Cassino: Ten Armies In Hell' By Peter Caddick Adams
Getting it down from the Book Cave has proved fruitful, and reinforces the fact that poor or non-existent staff work seriously affected the Allies trying to storm Monte Cassino. I shall quote from Page 155: "the string-and-sealing wax nature of Freyberg's New Zealand Corps, (with no dedicated corps staff)". Art!
Also, from Page 156: "This is where the lack of a corps staff really counted: with a dedicated chief of staff and good planning team, Freyberg's officers could have lobbied for Tuker's plan effectively to the prickly and hostile Clark."
Tuker's plan was to scale the mountains north-east of Cassino and make an indirect approach to the abbey, with his 4th Indian division troops who were skilled in mountain warfare. I shall keep you informed.
More Gentle Shoeing
I have discovered a couple more awful photographs of King Piggy on Twitter, but will only subject you to one. Art!
Unsure if 'were-hog' is better than 'were-toad'
He looks as if his morning toilette involved sticking his face in the gravy boat. Note the hilarious contrast between his sepia skin and pale white ears, and he must have put swimming goggles on to protect his eyes. Will he make it to the mid-terms? Only time will tell.
Oil's Well That Ends Well
Rather than having tourists visiting their resort city on the Black Sea, the governor is now evacuating residents of Tuapse thanks to the close proximity of the burning refinery and storage depot, now hit by four waves of Kozaky drones. 'Jake Broe' has speculated that these drones are approaching Tuapse from over the sea, meaning there is no warning of their arrival. The orcs could put patrol boats or naval vessels offshore, to try to detect and shoot down the drones, except that they make themselves sitting ducks for Sea Baby drones. Art!
These containers are being filled by people wielding shovels. Jake also noted that a lot of the clean-up was being done by women, and wondered, waspishly, where all the men had gone?
Number Nine Isn't Fine
We're up to the runner-up on Rotten Tomatoes list of films that earned 0% in reviews, a flick called 'One Missed Call', dating from 2008. It's a remake of a Japanese horror film, about a woman whose friends start dying after receiving voicemails, which is another reason never to trust mobile phones. Art!
So, going by the rule of 50%, it made back $22.5 million, on a $20 million budget, so after adding on promotion, advertising and distribution, it undoubtedly lost money. Well done, Warner Bros, it takes rare talent to make a loss on a horror film. Which is why there was no sequel. Art!
* It irks Horse-face Lavrov when I say this. Tee hee!
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