Which Has The Fetching Nickname 'Bad News'
Due to it's poverty-stricken unpleasant living environment, and if Art will put down his bowl of coal -
There you go. I wanted something more concrete than a phrase to begin this Intro, because it's all about bad news. Or, if you live outside Mordorvia, good news. For Lo! the consequences of Putinpot's Special Idiotic Operation continue to multiply, especially losing mobile internet, which has incensed the orcs like nothing else. Never mind war crimes or inflation or oligarch's yachts being seized, OMG I DON'T HAVE TELEGRAM TO SHOP AT WILDBERRYS ANY MORE!
ANYWAY I am going to be quoting from the Tweets of 'Beefeater', 'LX', 'SPRAVDI' and 'Chris0_wiki', collected in March and Bookmarked for later referral. Art!
That, ever so obviously, is 'Ruffian GDP' according to the AI Art Generator. Because the Mordorviian economy is in trouble, according to Ruffian financial experts. "The risks of the Ruffian economy overheating are intensifying" said a Saint Petersbug Bank official, as it would be freeform window diving time if such euphemisms weren't used. Overall, Ruffian GDP has fallen by 1.8% in the first two months of 2026. This counteracts the 1% growth of 2025. If this trend continues in March, and there's no reason it won't, then they will be in a formal recession. The orcs have already noticed this and are choosing to save money rather than spending it, thanks to continuing high interest rates, inflation and VAT hikes. Art!
Even military production has suffered. The class 'Finished Metal Products', which includes military hardware and which was the poster child for how wonderful Ruffian industry was doing, has contracted by 1.9% compared to 2025. There is still a crucial shortage of personnel to actually staff industry, which is why 15,000 Norks have been imported to do the serf's work. Art!
These are two stills from the derailment of seven passenger carriages on the Chelyabinsk-Moscow railway, where 24 people were injured. No fatalities, thankfully. Art!
Only one carriage stayed upright, and you can see one here where the bogies have completely separated from the undercarriage. Two contributing factors to this are the total removal of investment in railways by the state rail company RZD, and a cut in track repair funding, both due to a x22 drop in profits. That's not per cent, that's a reduction of 95.5%. Art!
'Magnit'
Magnit is one of the largest supermarket chains in Ruffia, having over 29,000 stores of various types. In March they posted their worst financial outcome in over 20 years, running up a ₽22.5 billion loss, or $280 million in proper money. This is bad: you can choose not to have a car or mobile phone or the internet, but you HAVE to eat.
Then there's AvtoVAZ, the Mordorvian auto manufacturer, which we have mentioned in the past and which is haemorrhaging money like a Moscow sewer pipe in winter. Art!
It's been in deep hot water for years and was desperately trying to cut costs by going to a four-day working week, cutting wages and laying off staff, which still wasn't enough. So, they are going to shut down completely for 17 days in April and May, sending staff on compulsory leave. Those who refuse leave will get their pay docked by 32%. The serfs must pay for the Tsar's war!
On a side note, one Commenter said that AvtoVAZ's cars aren't selling because they are of poor quality and vastly overpriced. How very - Ruffian. Art!
This, gentle reader, is the Chelyabinsk Electro-Metallurgical Combine, one of the largest industrial sites in Ruffia. It has eight ferroalloy 'workshops', which produce - you may be ahead of me here - ferroalloys. They are now shutting down one of the smelting workshops and transferring 170 staff to other workshops, thanks to a fall in demand. So much win! Art?
Oooops. Let me quote: "The Chinese Ministry of Agriculture has reported outbreaks of foot-and-mouth disease in two herds of cattle in it's northwestern province of Gansu and the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region." Hmmm Art!
I see. So this is one of the border regions close to Ruffia, which has been carrying out mass cattle culls in Siberia, without ever naming the disease involved. Because if they did so, WHO would get involved and there'd be a complete ban on beef exports. Conrad doesn't imagine the Chinese are looking at their Forever Friends with charity and mercy at the moment.
Then there are the 'kinetic sanctions' Ukraine has been imposing on Ruffian industry in March. Art!
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| Courtesy Sergei Cristobal |
This is a graphic put up by 'Jake Broe' and you can see the green bars in 2025 when Ukraine ramped up mass production of their own drones and missiles. Art!
That's the Nizhnekamsk petrochemical plant exploding away, and it's 1,300 kilometres from Ukraine. No hiding place.
Another 'What On Earth?' Moment
Once again, I am not convinced that Youtube's algorithm is functioning correctly, as this came up on the page when I refreshed it. Art!
Bah!
Less Of A Rat And More Of A Flea
We have made mocking, slanderous comments on that bokebag in human shape, Alex Jones, before. I imagine he's still trying to avoid paying the Sandy Hook victim's families, because - bokebag in human shape. Art!
When a conspiranoid swivel-eyed loonwaffle like Jones criticises you, things are bad. So, BBIHF seems to be ditching his MAGA credentials, which would normally earn the comment 'rats leaving a sinking ship', but in this case it's more like the fleas are hopping from the rats.
'The brain's not doing too hot' and neither is the body. Which has gone missing for at least 12 hours, with no Truths posted, no falling asleep at meetings or getting up to waffle about ballrooms. The truly repellent Stephen Cheung, a definitie shoo-in if 'Geldar and the Coneheads' ever gets a remake, bloviated about how the sun shines from BOOH's nethers, which is curious because you'd expect Donold to bloviate about himself. It may be a tempest in a thimble, but the rumours of him secretly being in Walter Reed hospital are amusingly ghoulish. A lot of people getting ready to crack a bottle of Prosecco if these rumours turn out to be true.
Our Public Service To You
A.k.a. Get The Behind Me, Clickbaiter. It's okay if I'm doing clickbaity things, because I have morals of infinite flexibility, but HOW DARE OTHERS DO IT! Art?
Allow me. They are talking about 'Defiance', which I believe is lurking in the Sekrit Layr. It concerns Jewish Belarussian partisans who join the partisan movement and make life as unpleasant as possible for the occupying Teutons. Art!
As you can see from the still, it also features Jamie Bell, and Liev Schreiber, who turns in a kick-ass performance. Caution: not for the faint-hearted.
Finally -
Another QI quote for you.
"I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have the common sense to do without my persuading them. That's all the powers of the President amount to." - Harry S. Truman.
Whom, I shall have you know, fought in the First Unpleasantness as an artillery officer. He volunteered and joined the South Canadian army in 1917. No bonespurs for him!
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