Herodotus: Hellenic History Harbinger

I Need To Bring In A Little Bit Of Historiography Here

 For those who do not know, the author Herodotus is frequently known as 'The Father of History', thanks to his use of critical methodology to analyse and describe the events of 2,500 years ago, rather than use myth and legend as previous authors had done so.  One ought to recommend this approach to modern authors*.  Ol' Hero's source material was verbal and material records of the time.  Art!

      Your Humble Scribe re-reads the 'Histories' every few years as they are entertaining and illuminating in nature.   Yes yes yes, I know we're talking about an ancient Greek author here, sue me if you want if I don't describe him with the usual <hack spit>, the edition I have is all in English.

     What are they about?  At their core is the conflict between Greece and Persia, with a lot of diversions along the way, such as the account of King Croesus, a real historical figure who ruled Lydia.  Art!

     He was immensely rich and powerful, so much so that he originated the saying 'As rich as Croesus'.  Art!

     As is clearly visible, ancient Lydia was a pretty big deal.  Croesus, whom as a king seems to have suffered from the usual regal over-ambition, decided he was going to take on Persia, ruled by the emperor Cyrus.  Rather than properly plan things out, you know, with boring stuff like supplies and roads and cavalry reconnaissance, he sought advice from the Oracle at Delphi.

     The Oracle at Delphi was highly-skilled in the art of being ambiguous and duplicitous, and avoiding giving a straight answer to a question.  If I remember correctly, I remember one venomous ruler being defeated in battle, whom took time during their retreat to kill all their oracles for advising wrongly, so you can understand the Delphic one being rather cagey.  Their prediction was that 'If Croesus went to war against Persia, he would destroy a mighty empire.'

     You can probably see where this is going.  Croesus did indeed wage war against Persia, and lost bigly when Cyrus crushed him and conquered Lydia.  The dangers of confirmation bias, hmmm?  Art!

Crosesus, not so rich any more

     Why am I giving you a lecture on ancient history?  Because Billy Bonespurs has once again demonstrated the disconnect between his tongue and what remains of his brain.  Art!

     Challenging Orban as a were-toad, we feel.  Gosh, typing that out means I won't be able to get into South Canada!  I feel so regretful O no actually I'm not at all.  Art!

     The presumption here is that DJ Tango is referring to Iran, and analysts worry that he's talking about rolling out the Big Bang Bombs in order to kill all Iranians, whom total 90 million.  This is a genuine possibility because Pumpkinhead has the attention span of a lobotomised goldfish, he's already bored and fed up with Iran for not rolling over and wants to shift the blame to Heggy and move on to cheating at golf.

     However - O that word again! - don't forget Croesus.  Plus, I am typing this screed the morning after his delulu post, and there is no news of any nuclear strikes, so once again Trump Always Chickens Out.  Thankfully!

     Plus, I've found an article from the 'Mirror', the British tabloid newspaper, with an impressive list of Donny Dorko's blatherings.

1. February 28: "This regime will soon learn that no one should challenge the strength and might of the United States Armed Forces."
2. March 1: "We have very strong objectives."
3. March 2: "We're already substantially ahead of our time projections."
4. March 3: "We won the war."
5. March 4: "We're doing very well on the war front."
6. March 5: "[Iran] have no air force, they have no air defence."
7. March 6: "They don’t have anyone or anything to fight with."
8. March 7: "We defeated Iran."
9. March 8: "I think the war is very complete, pretty much."
10. March 9: "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully."
11. March 10: "Short term oil prices, which will drop rapidly when the destruction of the Iran nuclear threat is over, is a very small price to pay for USA and World, Safety and Peace."

1. March 11: “You never like to say too ⁠early you won. We won. In the first hour it was over.”
2. March 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet."
3. March 13: "We won the war."
4. March 14: “The United States of America has beaten and completely decimated Iran, both militarily, economically, and in every other way, but… This should have always been a team effort."
5. March 15: "Whether we get support or not, I can say this, and I said it to them: we will remember."
6. March 16: “I’m demanding that these countries come in and protect their own territory."
7. March 17:“Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer ‘need,’ or desire, the Nato Countries’ assistance _ WE NEVER DID!”
8. March 18: "Allies must cooperate to open the Strait of Hormuz."
9. March 19: "US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz."
10. March 20: "Without the USA, NATO IS A PAPER TIGER!”
11. March 21: "[If Iran doesn't] FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the Strait of Hormuz, within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS.”
12. March 22: “I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD"
13. March 23: "I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST."
14. March 24: "We’ve won this war."
15. March 25: “They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.”
16. March 26: "They better get serious soon, before it is too late, because once that happens, there is NO TURNING BACK."
17. March 27: “We would have always been there for [NATO], but now, based on their actions, I guess we don’t have to be, do we?”

1. March 28: “Very strong talks.”
2. March 29: "To be honest with you, my favourite thing is to take the oil in Iran but some stupid people back in the US say: ‘why are you doing that?’ But they’re stupid people."
3. March 30: "The United States of America is in serious discussions with A NEW, AND MORE REASONABLE, REGIME to end our Military Operations in Iran. Great progress has been made."
4. March 31: "Iran has been, essentially, decimated. The hard part is done. Go get your own oil!"
5. April 1: "Iran’s New Regime President, much less Radicalized and far more intelligent than his predecessors, has just asked the United States of America for a CEASEFIRE!"

1. April 2: “We are gonna finish the job. We are getting very close.”
2. April 3: "[The US] hasn’t even started destroying what’s left in Iran. Bridges next, then Electric Power Plants!"
3. April 4: "Time is running out - 48 hours before all Hell will reign down on them. Glory be to GOD!"
4. April 5: "Open the f****n' Strait, you crazy b*****ds, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah."
5. April 6: "We're doing unbelievably well, well at a level that nobody's ever seen before."
6. April 7: "A whole civilization will die tonight."

     I don't expect you to read all his drivelling nonsense - although it does wonders for the Word Count - but you get an impression of how detached he is from reality.

     O and late breaking news -

Wowsers, the longest Intro ever.  Time for a few pictures instead of text walls.

Real Life Intervenes

On Saturday, as I ambled into Lesser Sodom (Royton if we're being formal) I noticed a lot of signage put up to warn of roadworks this week, carrying out resurfacing work.  It's badly needed, the section of Rochdale Road near The Mansion is full of potholes and ruts.  So, they started getting set up at 08:00 yesteryon.  Art!

     They were digging and drilling and scraping all day and have now levelled the road, which I hope was the noisy part.

Here's One I Made Earlier

You may recall Conrad posting a picture of a Full English Breakfast Pizza, which is exactly what it sounds like.  After a bit of dithering I made my own.  Art!

     I didn't bother with fried tomatoes or fried bread as I'm not fond of either, and baked beans would have made it soggy.  Verrry filling fodder.

Finally -

I think, like the pizza, we're done.

* Are you paying attention, Cooper?