No! Not The Album
By Guns N' Roses, but since I have mentioned the band I suppose we need a click-baity picture up here as an illo. Art!
Conrad is unsure quite what the artist is trying to say here, unless implying that Drugs Are Bad. Nor can I say I'm familiar with any of the tracks on this platter. Well, I could say it, but I'd be lying.
ANYWAY my original title was going to be 'The Saga Of The Silos, Still' because I went through that 'Be Amazed' Youtube compilation 'When Building Demolitions Go Horribly Wrong' and noted more clips of silos being demolished in a dangerous fashion. So you will, indeed, need an appetite for - shall we say demolition? Art!
Once upon a time, there were two water towers in Sao Paulo, Brazil. By the time we get the clip that follows, the tower to starboard was no longer there, so there had been a successful demolition already, which may have caused people to lapse into complacency. Art!
This shot tells us two things; firstly, the structure has had a great big section gouged out of it, to - that word again! - hopefully cause it to fall in a certain direction. Secondly, this thing is standing atop a hill. There also seems to be an excavator to the rear, and by the sound of it, it's using a hammer drill to further weaken the tower. Art!
Collapse initiated. However - that word again! - this water tower is ruggedly made of ferro-concrete, as is clearly visible, so it does not disintegrate when toppling or even after toppling. Art!
You now have a ten-ton cylinder horizontal on a sloping surface, so it naturally does what geometry intends, and begins rolling downhill. Art!
The people filming this had wit enough to get out of the way so there were no squashed Hom. Sap. on the scene. The tower, still intact, kept going until it hit level ground. Art!
Whoever built that tower had a serious work ethic and impeccable quality control. Did I say ten tons? More like fifty, because it left vehicles in it's path in need of TLC. Art!
I know, I know, a dab of paint, a bit of gaffer tape and we're good to go. Not!
The 'engineer' in charge of the operation got it in the neck as he'd not even applied for permission to demolish the structures, leading to his arrest.
Art!
Kyle again. I doubt that's really his name but I'm going to adopt it for all these ham-fisted Destroy It Yourself bunglers. So, once again we are faced with a silo that is stable so far, despite the great big section that Kyle has hammered out. Again, hopefully predisposing it to fall in a particular direction, in his head anyway. What we've consistently seen in these demolitions is that the structure leans in the direction of the last part removed, which has just destabilised it.
Here an aside. You may recall that we've covered the steeplejack Fred Dibnah in the past, whose stock in trade was demolishing industrial chimneys. He had two methods, both of which were a lot safer than Kyles: demolishing from the top down bit by bit, or gouging out a big hole at the base and filling it with wood to keep the chimney upright, then setting it alight. Art!
A whole lot slower, yes, but you didn't ever hear about one of his demolitions going awry. Are you listening, Kyle? Art!
Kyle has now gotten what he wanted, possibly a bit sooner than he expected. Art!
Ooops. Rather than falling in the desired direction, Mister Silo has decided to collapse into his own footprint, meaning Kyle has to drop his hammer and leg it speedily, to avoid getting footprinted. The silo here looks to be considerably less robust than the previous ones we've documented but it would still cause distress if it landed on you. Art!
Rather maliciously, it fell right where Kyle would have been standing had he not hoofed it out of there. Art!
Hmmm a novel method here - the DIY team are attempting to topple the silo here by torsion via a cable. Have they checked how strong the foundations are? Art!
No. They have not. So, rather than toppling, you now have a dangerously unsafe and unstable structure, which will probably require professionals to demolish safely and completely.
Okay, I think that's enough silos for one Intro. Be advised there are more to come. I bet you can hardly wait.
Typing This On April First
Just so you know this isn't a belated April Fool's joke. Art!
We here at BOOJUM! have already reviewed this news, so we know it's genuine, and Your Humble Scribe might even go so far as to log onto i-Player and watch them, accompanied by a can or two of Old Speckled Hen.
Hearken Ye, King Piggy
The chances of Fat Caligula reading this screed are exactly zero, as the blog contains long words and isn't in Aerial Font 20 with bullet points, and besides which it constantly pokes fun at the ugly orange biffer. Art!
No, this is not Photoshopped. Note the ghastly contrast between his be-bagged eyes and ears and the rest of his tangerine-tinted face. Also what tiny hands he has.*
ANYWAY AGAIN I came across an interesting sidenote on a news item, about a report called 'Lost Not Stolen', published in 2022, by "two former Republican senators, three former federal appellate judges, a former Republican solicitor general, and two Republican election law specialists" so no trace of 'Radical Left Democrats' as DJ Tango likes to claim. They investigated all the claims of stolen votes and tabulated them. There were 187 counts in the 64 cases filed on behalf of the Saggy Senile Sepia Sackbut, by those yesterday people Sydney Powell and Rudi Giuliani, back when he thought BOOH was his friend.
Of these cases, 20 were dismissed before trial as having no merit; 14 were dismissed voluntarily by Trump and Co. before trial, meaning they realised how bad they were; of the 30 that actually went to trial, Trump won only 1, in Pennsylvania, involving far too votes to change the outcome.
Loser!
Where There's A Will There's A Slay
Another example of miserable behaviour reaping the reward it so richly - or poorly - deserves. This was related in the Comments of the tale about the lady leaving her $9 million bequest to the church, not her thieving niece and nephew. Matey made friends with an solo elderly lady living in a retirement home, doing odd jobs for her and acting as a designated driver, out of the kindness of his heart. Art!
Solo Elderly Lonely Lady, hereafter SELL, had two adult children, whom might have expected to cash in on any inheritance she left behind.
Well, SELL left her bequest to Matey - all $300,000 of it. He was utterly flabbergasted at this amount, and wondered why none of it went to the children.
While she was still married and her hubbo was still alive, the two greedy adult children 'borrowed' a large sum of money from their father, then skipped six states away and went radio silent. SELL thus considered what they skipped away with as their inheritance. The end.
Are You Kidding?
Conrad had seen a reference to this giant rodent being on the run, and the story - and the Capybara - is still running. Art!
Let me do what capybara does supremely well and dig a little further.
Hmmm so 'Samba', as well as her sister 'Tango', escaped from a zoo two weeks ago. Tango has been recaptured, but despite sniffer dogs, thermal drones and camera traps, Samba is still on the loose. The zoo ruefully reported that she is proving quite adept at avoiding them.
Finally -
That's all!
* He hates people saying this about him and his tiny hands.
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