Different Stokes

No!  That Is Not A Typo

Just to confirm we are back to our usual hateful horrid self today.  That title is an hilarious pun I tell you, hilarious!  Laugh or it's the Remote Nuclear Tormentor for you all.  Art!

Possibly a RNT

     No, Conrad is not babbling about that sitcom from - the Eighties?  Whenever.  Okay, okay, as proof I am not raving we'll prod Art awake and demand an illo.

<sigh 1/10 for spelling>

     A couple of BOOJUM!s ago I prattled on about sound ranging in the First Unpleasantness, and how remarkably advanced it was for the time, helping the British - NOT 'the English' as Teuton staff officers wrote - army to locate Teuton artillery accurately.

     In this Intro we're going to be looking at another British innovation of the Second Unpleasantness.  First of all we need to lay down a bit of background.  Art!

    This is the 'Stokes Gun', as it was originally known, being invented by a chap called Stokes, and it's the great-grandaddy of all contemporary mortars, as they are now known.  Robert Graves, in his 'Goodbye To All That' mentions 'the efficient but greedy Stokes Gun', as a decent mortar team could have as many as ten bombs on their way before the first had landed.

     Mortars don't have the range a conventional artillery piece does, but they could be broken down into baseplate, barrel and bipod and carried around by their crew.  Typically their range is relatively short, but they were present in the front lines and could immediately put down fire when needed - no need to radio up a chain of command to get artillery support.  Art!

Photographer standing Danger Close

     By July of 1944, the British army recognised that indirect fire from Teuton weapons, most especially their mortars, was exerting a very serious affect on the battlefield.  They needed to come up with a solution.  Art!

     I am now cribbing notes from the work above, by Professor Buckley, who knows of what he speaks.  

     One statistic he quotes is that it required 1,700 artillery rounds to be able to saturate an area of 100 PROUD IMPERIAL square yards, so methods of improving accuracy were researched.  Art!

GL III radar set

     It stands for 'Gun Laying'.  As is clearly visible, it was a radar set carried in a trailer, with it's own generator, being gifted mobility thanks to the innovative use of the cavity magnetron.  It was specifically designed and intended to locate Teuton mortars, which it could do to within 50 yards.  They were used at Corps level, with a dedicated artillery group responding to target data.  Professor Buckley gives the example of XXX Corps, where the dedicated group consisted of a battery of 7.2" guns, a troop of 5.5" guns, a troop of 3.7" guns, plus at least six platoons of 4.2" and six 3" mortars, plus divisional artillery on call, or another 140 guns.  For anyone not familiar with artillery, that is an awful lot of firepower.  Art!

     This banging beast is a 7.2" howitzer, the same type that Gunner Milligan crewed.  It could fire a 200 pound shell over nine miles, so six of these firing a salvo would land half a ton of ordnance on a target.  Art!

     Here's a 'Five-Five' as it was known, and the very high velocity 3.7" AA gun, often used in a ground role from D-Day onwards as there weren't many Teuton planes around.

     ANYWAY these Counter-Mortar groups went into operation late in 1944, gaining experience and ironing out teething troubles, as with all newly-issued kit.

     At first they were effective only in disrupting Teuton mortars, forcing them to relocate out of the target area, but by the time Germany proper had been invaded, they were getting accurate enough to destroy the mortar and it's crew. A Teuton PoW recounted a tale about being reviled by other Teuton soldiers as he was part of a mortar team; his fellow stubble-hoppers knew quite well what kind of devastating counter-battery fire would fall upon them if the mortar started firing.  The Teutons simply had no counter to this kind of technological application and had to sit there and take it.  Art!

Stokes Gun broken down for moving

     The Teuton landser's woe reminds me of an anecdote related by a Stokes Gun crewman in the First Unpleasantness, where the Teutons had come to hate and fear the mortar, which would be set up in the front lines.  The crew would merrily  fire off their stock of bombs and then relocate elsewhere, whilst the tommies left in that area would suffer from the Teuton counterbattery fire.  Matey and his crew had set up in a location they were directed to at night: come morning they discovered that the mortar position, which they would have to man, was in plain sight of Teuton lines.  They moved.

     ALL HAIL THE CAVITY MAGNETRON! which is a story in itself.
     

Beavis And Butthead Butt Heads

Not entirely unexpectedly, Just Dismal has come back from Islamabad with no agreement, Iran not being interested in backing down and still holding control of the Straits of Hormuz.  Art!

     This is what I've already stated he will do, and I spoke truer than I realised, as this news item states -

"The US president acknowledged as much in jest before Easter, when Mr Vance was engaged in indirect backchannel negotiations with a pragmatist faction in Tehran, saying: “If it doesn’t happen, I’m blaming JD Vance. If it does happen, I’m taking full credit.”

     Hmmm I'm typing this on Hungarian general election day, which Orban is predicted to lose bigly, which Donnie Dorko will probably also blame Just Dismal for, thanks to his recent visit.  Who's laughing now?

     O and here's another picture of King Piggy looking bad.  Art!

     Thank you David!  My my, he looks as bald as he really is in that second photo.

     Don't worry, I have a small bank of other hideous photos of Fat Caligula.

Being On The Bucket List

Just not in a good way, or a way you expected.  Another clip from 'Be Amazed's 'When Building Demolitions Go Horribly Wrong', and an abject example of why you DON'T walk under heavy plant equipment.  Art!

     Compelled by his magpie genes, Idiot In Yellow sees something shiny and immediately wants it.  Art!

     You can probably guess where this is going.  Art!

     Bucket detaches in a way that ought not to be possible.

     He is miraculously unscathed, although probably needs a change of underwear.  BA speculates that both pins holding the bucket onto the excavator arm broke at the same time, with the more cynical Conrad wondering if they were ever in place to begin with.

 We're Only Here For The Beer Part Two

I haven't yet tasted the Bacchus Cherry Beer so cannot report back on that yet.   Here's one I took earlier.  Art!

 
     Conrad was forced - forced, I tell you! - to purchase a four-pack of this brew as they had run out of Old Speckled Hen, which is another black mark for Morrisons when I take over an

     ANYWAY AGAIN it's a nice light citrussy ale, very similar to 'The Terminator', with the added advantage of costing half as much.  Having exploited the latter's tin design as much as possible, I no longer need to pay £4 per can for it.  Ha!

Hmmm Go On Then

Conrad is going to click the very obvious clickbait.  Art!

     This is Ashley Jackson, who moved to the UK four years ago.  What horrors has she had to adapt to?

1)  Pet names.  'Darling' as an example.

2)  Corner shops.  In South Canada you need to drive to the mall.

3)  Butter on bread.  Say what?  Ah - they doubtless use an hideous chemical concoction full of yellow food colouring in South Canada.

Finally - 

Another QI quote.

"Oregonians don't tan, they rust."  Oregon proverb.  Sounds just like home!