😁 I Just Discovered I Can Add An Emoji
I promise not to overdo it. Probably. Okay, so for months and months we've been posting awful photos of King Piggy, in small Items rather than focussing on him in an Intro, a reprieve he isn't aware of as his reading skills run to Richard Scarry at best. Art!
Note the wonderful contrast between orange face and pink ears
In case you were wondering, and even if not, Richard Scarry writes books for young children, full of pictures in bright primary colours, perfect for Donold. Art!
ANYWAY I want to look at DJ Tango's money-making efforts and how successful they are. First of all we're going to look at the share price of 'TMTG', which is the 'Trump Media and Technology Group', a grand name for an organisation that has only one product, 'Truth Social'. It started well, before tailing off dramatically - Art!
Then the Flabby Fraudster got back into the White House, in order to stay out of prison. Art!
As we pundits predicted, an awful lot of fools bought TMTG stock once Donold got back into office, hoping that their investment in their great orange god would be rewarded.
Nope. Art!
It's lost over 90% of it's original value and hovers around $9.30 per share. Ooops.
Sticking with TMTG*, and a vlog from 'Farron Balanced' on his Youtube channel, which I recommend, he focussed on the Chief Executive Officer of TMTG, Devin Nunes, who gave up a political career to helm that organisation.
He's just been sacked, so more properly ex-CEO. Art!
How to strangle cats the Devin Nunes way!
Did he blaspheme and criticise Pumpkinhead? Get a DUI? Steal a bagel?
Well, not necessarily that he did any of those, rather more to the point he only brought in $3.7 million for TMTG, whilst also managing to lose $712 million. Yes, you read that correctly: seven hundred and twelve million lost. Thus the income is only about 0.5% of the losses.
Farron was understandably appalled and enraged. TMTG has only one asset, the social media platform 'Truth Social' which was established in 2022, so all the physical assets were paid for long ago. It's a digital service offering nothing physical, so why on earth did it lose an enormous amount of money in 2025? The suspicious and cynical amongst us wondered if the money went out of the firm and into someone else's pockets, looking at you King Piggy. Art!
Part of the blame is being placed upon 'investing' in Cronos and Bitcoin, both cryptocurrency scambles. Also, verrrrry few people use Truth Social. And Nunes presided over a $400 million loss in 2024, so over a billion dollars in losses. Farron postulated that there may be a Congressional enquiry lined up later in the year. A consequence of appointing a CEO with no expertise or experience in social media. What could possibly go wrong! Art?
The President's brain is - mashed potato.
Farron also covered Trump's PAC finances, taking the details from 'Raw Story', the internet news site. A 'PAC' is a Political Action Committee, an entity created to raise funds for political parties. Trump had raised over $300 million, a verrrry large sum for a man not standing for election again, through two of his PACs, 'MAGAPAC' and 'Save America PAC'. Art!
ANYWAY the thing is, DJ Tango has bankrupted both PACs. 'Save America PAC' now has only $1.12 million in the bank and owes $1.6 million in legal expenses, after having already paid out $2.3 million in legal fees. 'MAGAPAC' is in even worse shape, having only $28,000 in the bank, whilst owing $760,000 and having already paid out $1.3 million in - you may be ahead of me here - legal fees. As you can see from the schematic above, this is how Fat Caligula can afford to pay his legal bills. He can now proudly add these two bankruptcies to the six he already has. Art!
With these bafunes, expect the very worst
Elsewhere, things are not going well for the Nodfather. The cryptocurrency 'World Liberty Financial' or 'WLFI' peaked in September 2025 at $0.46 per, but has now fallen to $0.075 or one-sixth of what it was worth, and it looks set to keep dropping as an investor, one Justin Sun, is taking legal action against them. Ooops. Art!
This is the $TRUMP, which peaked at $75 at launch, and is now down to $2.63, 1/28th of the original value, meaning the chumps who bought it have now lost $2 billion in total. Conrad distinctly unsympathetic. Art!
Ah yes, the 'Trump Phone', which was supposed to be available in August 2025 yet which still has not been delivered. 600,000
Say no more
Going the same way as Trump Steaks, Trump Water, Trump Airlines, Trump University - you get the point.
The Consequences Of An Over-Eager Eye
As you should surely know by now, Conrad is forever buying bottles or cans of beer thanks to an intriguing cover design or label, and then sharing his purchase with you, gentle reader. This week I ventured to buy this item - Art!
Rather worryingly, there is no list of ingredients in what it describes as a 'Fruit Punch', which makes me wary that it may contain The Devil's Pinecone, or pineapple if we're being formal. If it tastes of said fruit it's going down the bathroom sink. I'll let you know.
Fly, You Fools!
Another frightening failure in building demolition, from Kunming in The Populous Dictatorship. Hmmm. I see a pattern developing here. Art!
As 'Be Amazed' points out, rather acidly, any building demolition, ESPECIALLY one using explosives, needs a safety or exclusion zone around it that will protect onlookers from flying debris or the falling structure itself. Well well well, what have we here but honest artisans beavering away on construction work right next to the demolition site? What can possibly go wrong! Art?
Making Usain Bolt look laggardly
Fortunately nobody was hurt. I bet the excavator needed a new paint job, mind.
On The Theme Of Construction
Just to be contrary and in contrast to the above. Art!
The roof has gone up on 53, Tandle Hill Road, so we can expect 'M Swift' to begin work on the internal fitments. Take a good look through that doorway. Art!
There's a shipping container that they placed before beginning on the foundations, which is now completely boxed-in and Conrad cannot but wonder how they're going to remove it. By crane, if they can manage to get one in - the road alongside Number 53 is very narrow - or disassembled in bits.
The Mordorvian Tourist Board Welcomes You!
In case you weren't au fait with the facts, the 2026 FIFA World Cup in South Canada is not going to be well-attended, thanks to a combination of factors. One is the ridiculous price, $10,000 per ticket, before factoring in travel and accommodation as well. Another is that you may get refused entry if Customs don't like the look of you, or if your social media is anything less than slavishly adoring of Donold. Or ICE may imprison or shoot you dead.
Well, the Ruffian resort town of Tuapse on the shores of the Black Sea is going to experience a tourist fall-off somewhat similar. Art!
People are evacuating if they have anywhere else to go, as the oil refinery situated next door has been burning for a week. There is oil condensate on everything: houses, streets, plants, cars and people, who have been warned to stay indoors, keep windows shut and to wear masks. This refinery has been more utterly malleted than any other in the course of the war and may never be reconstructed. The smoke is visible from low Earth orbit and the sands of the Black Sea coastline are now a-swill with toxic oil sludges.
Finally -
Another QI Quote.
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." Rita Rudner
* Teenage Mutant Toxic Gerbils?
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