Which You Absolutely Recognised As Finnish
Right? It means 'Destroyed from the inside', because once again we're going to look at an organisation brought low by self-sabotage, where the institution itself manages to shoot itself in both feet, said institution being Nokia. Art!
They only put one of those holey feet in their mouth, so not a total failure.
Okay, if you're not familiar with the concept of Pride Goeth Before A Fall, Nokia had a market share of 40% of the mobile phone market in 2001, with Devil's Digital Devices similar to the one shown above, which even Conrad recognises as horribly old-fashioned.
There were a couple of technical reasons why Nokia's fortunes tanked so precipitously. For one thing, they completely ignored the move to touchscreen phones, perhaps because Finns are not a touchy-feely people, echoing the PC market of decades earlier, where the platform was less important than the software. Art!
Their Symbian operating system was over-complex, not intuitive and got updated far more slowly than competing systems such as Android.
Possibly the biggest element in reducing their market share to 5% by 2013 was their corporate culture, an inside problem NOT FORESHADOWING MUCH THERE CONRAD where fear reigned amongst employees, whom were actively discouraged from reporting anything negative or problematic. Thus matters were allowed to go wrong without any oversight or correction. Art!
We are now going to relate what you might see as a Revenge Reddit, but I promise it ends up as Destroyed From The Inside at the end. It was posted by 'BillyClubXXX' on the 'Dark Fluff' Youtube channel. BCX was visiting his cousin, who lived on a street where the houses lacked garages or driveways, so he parked on the street. When he came back to his car another one had parked in front of him and backed into his bumper and radiator, causing minor damage. As you see above.
Except this wasn't bad parking or carelessness. A neighbour came out to tell BCX that he'd seen the home owner tell her passenger to get out and guide her backwards to deliberately cause damage because BCX had to be taught a lesson 'about parking in front of her house.' Art!
Behold Entitled Wicked Womanly Wastrel, hereafter EWWW. The neighbour informs that she's done this to other cars, that she tried to have him pay for her extra rubbish bags by putting them in his yard and that she's abducted people's cats and dogs, taken them to a shelter and had them put down. Everyone hated her. Now BCX hates her, too, and he is not a person to get on the wrong side of. He got a syringe of superglue and injected it into all the locks of her house, then sat back with a drink on his cousin's deck to see the results. Art!
When EWWW returned from l
Next day BCX was back with pepper spray. Yes, that stuff that ICE puts about like air-freshener. He sprayed it onto her front door handle and hung around to see what happened when she returned home from
She couldn't see to drive thanks to being highly peppered, so BCX and his cousin called an ambulance, all the while laughing on the inside. When she got back from the Emergency Room (South Canadian for Accident And Emergency) she snapped that, if they'd been good neighbours they'd have driven her themselves and saved her the cost of said ambulance.
No shame or gratitude? Challenge accepted! BCX went to work, as did EWWW, leaving her house free for him to scout around. He discovered a broken ground level window looking in on an unfinished basement, as a method of ingress.
Not for himself. No, for the 50 male and 50 female mice he purchased, along with a bag of rodent food, all of which went into the basement. Art!
With no reason to enter the basement, EWWW was blissfully unaware of the mice breeding away, until BCX's cousin noticed a pest exterminator being called in a month later. Destroyed From The Inside!
A week later EWWW put her house up for sale.
The story doesn't quite end there; remember how hated she was by all the neighbours? They made certain to negatively inform all the buyers who came to inspect, with the result that EWWW had to take an offer $100,000 less than the asking price.
For your information, Nokia are still around and successful, now specialising in communications technology and 5G infrastructure instead of phones. As for EWWW? She was Finnished.
Suit Of Navy, Face Of Gravy
Another awful photograph of Donold Judas Trump, whom I swear puts on his makeup by sticking his face in a trough. Art!
No, that's the AI Art Generator hard at work. Art!
You can't fault me for the gravy-trough hypothesis, can you? He never seems to realise that the dip hasn't reached his ears and they remain a delightful shade of taupe, as do the - I'm not sure what to call them - cabin-trunks under his eyes? Thank heavens we're spared the hideous neck <rude word redacted>from this angle.
Leaking About Eakring
You may have been surprised about the presence of an oil well and 'nodding donkey' in Kimmeridge, Dorset, in This Sceptres Isle, as we are not really noted for our extractive oil industry.
Hold onto your hard hats, because we have more on this subject. Art!
This bronze is of a South Canadian oil worker with hard hat and Stillson wrench, to be found in the forests of Eakring in Nottinghamshire, Perfidious Albion. The Anglo-Iranian Oil Company, a precursor of BP, had discovered oil at Eakring in 1939 but kept it secret less hostile ears detected. By 1942 they were looking at efficient way to extract it, and came to the conclusion that South Canadian oil workers and equipment would make the best combination. Art!
Thus 42 Oklahoman wildcatters sailed across the briny deeps of the North Atlantic to set up an oil extraction site. They commenced operations in March of 1943 and were tasked with drilling wells before the Normandy landings. They managed 106 wells delivering 3 million barrels of oil during wartime. Art!
One of the pumpjack 'nodding donkeys' painted green for camouflage.
I'm So Very Glad For You, Now Go Away
You ought to be well aware of Conrad's attitude towards tomato ketchup: I cordially loathe it and cannot see any reason why people would eat tomato-flavoured sugar or sugary tomato puree. Art!
Don't look so smug. When I take over it'll be banned.
Hmmm, apparently the word 'ketchup' dates from the 18th century and is of Chinese origin: 'Koetsiap' meaning 'brine of pickled fish', although the recipe seems to have strayed somewhat. Yes, I would rather dab my food in Vietnamese mam nuoc fish sauce than tomato ketchup. I have spoken.
Just To Leave You With A Taste Of Torment
All the economic news coming out of Mordorvia is bad, except for where it's worse. Cucumbers cost more than steaks, people can either pay their rent and food or their utility bills, but not both, and once mighty institutions are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. Take Ruffian railways, the state organisation RZD. I can't do better than copy a Tweet from 'Beefeater', which, bad as it is, only limns the outlines of how awful things are.
The debt of Russian Railways has risen to 4 trillion rubles, and they plan to sell 49% of the shares, thousands of buildings throughout Russia, the Riga station and a skyscraper in "Moscow City". A vivid example of the saying - if the Soviets start managing the desert, there will soon be a shortage of sand there.
Art!
"The 08:15 to Sverdlovsk will not be leaving. Ever."
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