A Modern Eon

First Of All

We need to define 'eon', which is the hideous South Canadian variant spelling of 'aeon', although I seem to recall that H. P. Lovecraft was fond of using the proper spelling when talking about the El  

     ANYWAY my Collins Concise defines it as a measure of geological time, consisting of two or more eras, or, more definitively, one thousand million years.  Call it a billion.  A very long time by any measurement.  Art!

     Ah yes, Modern Eon, a New Wave band from Liverpool.  I recall that they wanted Enrico Morricone to do production on their sole LP, except he's not into doing production for bands.

     ANYWAY ANYWAY we are now into the umpteenth Intro covering the '68 Philosophical Sci-Fi Books That Will Melt Your Mind' which is metaphorical, not literal, fortunately for Conrad.

No. 13: Eon by Greg Bear (1985).  I read this not long after it was published, which is a good 40 years ago.  What do I remember of it?  It concerns a vast terraformed asteroid of the future that mysteriously appears in Earth's orbit, prompting an exploration of same.  IIRC it also involved parallel realities, and a Sinister assault to claim for themselves, the greedy ruffians.  Art!

     One thing that stuck with me was the 'Apple', being a construction of the acronym 'APL', which itself stands for 'Anti-Personnel Laser'.  The most dangerous fruit since Eve took a bite.  Given all that, I cannot remember how it ends, so I might have to go back and read it again, and report back to you, gentle reader.  I bet you can hardly wait.

No. 12: Haze by L E Modesitt (2009).  Another Nope.  That surname sounds familiar, mind.  Let me go digging a little.  Hmmmm.  Okay, so the title 'Haze' refers to a planet shrouded by nano-satellites that keep it hidden from the eyes and ears of the Federation.  Not the cosy, cuddly Federation from 'Starry Trex' (sp?) but a totalitarian one where China holds sway.  Naturally, the Fed wants to know all about Haze.  Art!

     So they send in a spy, whom has an unfortunate backstory that intrudes into his mission.  Well of course he does, because dramatic effect.  Nope, still a Nope.

No. 11:  The Postman by David Brin (1985).  Another Yes!  Again, Conrad read this one close to the release date.  It concerns a post-apocalyptic South Canada, wherein the lead protagonist, one  Gordon Krantz, finds an abandoned US Postal Service vehicle with mail and a spare uniform, as he drifts across Oregon.  He dons the uniform and begins to spin a myth about a reconstituted South Canadian Government, attempting to deliver the mail.  I recall that part of the problem of resurrecting a government was the presence of several militias and warlords, which are overthrown by the novel's end.  Art!

     I've also seen the film version, which <shudders with horror> was 29 years ago, and all I can remember is that Tom Petty had a cameo role.  Time to rewatch?

No. 10: The Shockwave Rider by John Brunner (1975).  Nope.  I shall enquire upon.  Hmmmm interesting!  Look at the publication date.  The novel concerns a protagonist staying out of government clutches by hacking computer systems to create false identities.  It is highly prescient in anticipating the Information Age, as well as government overview and intrusion into individual lives, and it coined the term 'worm' for a type of computer virus.  Art!

No. 9: Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank (1959).  Another Yes!  I believe I read this a couple of years ago as a PDF on teh Interwebz.  Warning!  This is not a happy jolly fun work in any way.  It portrays the apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic town of Fort Repose in Florida, as World War Three breaks out and ends.  With the end of civilisation as we know it, the town has to come together to combat hunger, illness and sheer unbridled criminality.  Art!

     It's an outstanding novel, very influential and still chillingly relevant today.  At the time, global nuclear arsenals were nowhere near the totals they have reached today, which ought to give you food for thought. The title is derived from the Book Of Revelations, in case you were wondering and even if you weren't.

     We will leave it there for today, and should be able to finish this list by tomorrow.  I bet you can hardly wait.

Conrad Is Angry! (Again)

I shall be exercising the Remote Nuclear Tormentor shortly, as I am about to drive up my blood pressure by detailing the hideously inapt Codeword solutions I have had to solve.  Art!

RNT

HYAENAS: Come on now!  How many words do you know that have the triplet 'YAE' in them? NONE! None I tell you, yet here we are.  It's not as if Hyaenas are common domestic pets here in the Allotment Of Eden and the association would ever occur to people.  Bah and Art!

JOULE: NO! This is not a typo of 'JEWEL'.  Sit down, because this is defined by my CCED as 'The derived SI unit of work or energy; the work done when the point of application of a force of 1 newton is displaced through a distance of 1 metre in the direction of the force'.  There you are and I'm so glad we got that straightened out.  Conrad is familiar with this term thanks to that Physics class I took but the rest of you must be scratching your heads.  Art!

Named after the splendidly befurred James Joule

PLEXUS: I seem to recall the definition of this term, which is 'an intricate network or arrangement' so it may have cropped up already in the recent past.  HOWEVER I am still angry and will sit and simmer in my righteous wrath.  There was something about a 'solar plexus', an anatomical term I have never bothered to define.  Wait one.

There you go

     And that's all the Codeword conniptions my blood pressure can stand.

Ah Now It Becomes Clear

'Bricktop', one of the chaps I follow on Twitter, posted a short amusing video of a couple assembling a DIY bed from the bare boards up.  Art!

     Very worthy.  It's done in timelapse so what took ages is completed in seconds.  You may be wondering about the general architecture and all those arches.  Art!

     Two happy woofers and a new definition of a dog-bed.

More Gentle Shoeing

For once, I am not taking aim at the Saggy Senile Sepia Sackbut, rather at his wife, Melania.  The one often accused of being a former sex worker, although I don't know how truthful that is.

     So, a 'documentary' film about her called - you may be ahead of me here - 'Melania' has recently been released, and all the bootlicking sycophants have been bigging it up.  Other critics have panned it.  Art!

    As any fule noes, the studio only gets 50% of the box office back, so it's made $3.5 million, on a budget of at least $40 million (some say $75 million) and as any fule also noes, films make their biggest profit on their release date and the box office gradually declines over time.  

     Of course - obviously! - Donold Judas Trump will be braying about how successful it is, because he has to take his socks and shoes off to count beyond ten.

If I Were To Say "Servicing The Vampire"

Firstly, WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS!  It should be in taupe, as in "Servicing The Vampire" as I am referring to another of Terence Cuneo's artworks.  Art!

     Yes, here we see the unglamourous yet vital work of routine maintenance, a De Haviland Vampire jet getting the tender loving care in this illustration.   The Vampire was a twin-boom single-engined fighter, the second jet in British service, and they made scads of them, over 3,000.  Art!

     A production run that makes those of today look weak and feeble.

Finally -

Leaving with a quote from my "QI" book of banter.

"Few men have the virtue to resist the highest bidder" - George Washington, South Canadian politician and Prez.  That whining noise is him turning in his grave at 5,000 r.p.m.