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Sunday, 1 February 2026

How Arthur C. Clarke Invented Beverley Hills

Well, Kind Of

In the sense of not at all, actually.  What am I chuntering on about?  You'll see.  First of all, let me prod Art awake from his lignite-induced stupor -


     Conrad is not remotely interested in these self-congratulatory onanistic events, doesn't know who was nominated nor who won.  I care so little that I'm not going to bother clarifying those title.  Gee, aren't I a stinker!

     ANYWAY the 2026 Golden Globes were held in Beverley Hills, the rather upmarket part of Los Angeles.  So there was a concatenation of stars in the city of L.A. which leads us right back to the next instalment of '68 Philosophical Sci-Fi Films To Melt Your Brain' from the Youtube channel 'Sci-Fi Odyssey'.

No. 18: The City And The Stars by Arthur C. Clarke (1956)  Conrad is pretty sure I had this as a paperback a few years back, started it and then it got binned during Project Apocalypse*, thus never finished.  Let me check the plot.  Hmmm it kind of rings a faint, distant bell.   Art!


     'The' city because the one in question, Diaspar, is the only one left on Earth a billion years into the future, protected by it's dome, run by computers and where people have acquired immortality.  However, they stagnate.  This leads to a curious citizen, Alvin, deciding to dig into the city and humanity's past.  It's called a classic of the Golden Age of science fiction thanks to the publication date, and Ol' Art would have to try really, really hard to write a bad novel.

No. 17: The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein (1966).  Another Yes! and this is definitely a classic.  You might characterise it as the <spit hack> South Canadian Revolutionary War in space.  Art!


     The plot is centred around the war that breaks out when the Moon's dwellers, the descendants of penal colonists who call themselves 'Loonies', try to break free from the tyranny and oppression of the Earthbound 'Authority'.  Their rebellious efforts are enhanced and supported by the sentient Authority supercomputer, Mike, and by the fact that they have mass-drivers - about which I shall say no more.  It discusses matters such as political freedom, libertarianism, and - as with Heinlein's trademark and matter-of-fact discussion of sex - polyandry.  

     How this has never been filmed is a minor mystery to me.  When I take over Hollywood will be ordered to make it, end of story.

No. 16: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (1957).  Another Nope, and from what I've read about Rand, that Nope is going to stand.  I remember listening to an episode of 'The Flop House' where they utterly destroyed a film adaptation, and that Rand seemed to have a particular obsession with trains and railways.  Art!


     TLDR: civilisation collapses as the rich and powerful go 'on strike'.  If only Peter Thiel and Elong Tusk would do so!

No. 15:  A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick (1977).  Yes!  Not only have I read the book, I've seen the bleakly hilarious film, done in Rotoscope.  The background to the novel is a horribly addictive drug called 'Substance D', which causes the two halves of the brain to function independently.  Narcotics police place agent Bob Arctor into a house full of drug users, including Donna the drug dealer, hoping to get an in on where the drug originates.  Art!

     Acting in character entirely too much, Bob becomes addicted to 'D', begins to break down mentally and is sent to rehab by his superiors.  This involves basic grunt work on a farm - and a twist in the tale that I won't telegraph.  Art!


     What the most disturbing thing about ASD is how autobiographical it is.  PKD stated that he saw everything that happens in the novel.  Also, conspiranoid loonwaffle Alex Jones has a very brief cameo.  Art!


     Then he gets Tazered and thrown into the back of a black van.

No. 14: Schild's Ladder by Greg Egan (2002).  We end on another Nope.  Let me check teh Interwebz for more info.  Wait one.  Hmmmm.  This one sounds deep and complicated, with a lot of higher mathematics and examination of quantum states.  Okay, so 20,000 years into the future, a mathematical modelling experiment Goes Horribly Wrong in the vicinity of the star Mimosa.  The result is a vacuum more stable than normal vacuum, which begins to expand at half the speed of light.  Art!


     Humanity splits into two groups: The Preservationists, who want their Milky Way galaxy back, and the Yielders, who want to study this new reality.

     No word on how it ends.  Sorry about that.  But, you know, There Are Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, or, to update that old saw, There Are Things People Were Not Meant To Know. 


I DO NOT WANT AN OSCILLOSCOPE!!

And I am emphasising this expression with TWO exclamation marks as that's how serious I am.  Art!


     How very splendid.  Your Humble Scribe is certain that fans of oscilloscopes would love this piece of kit BUT NOT ME!

     Really.  Some entities.


Made Up Of Awwwww!

Conrad seems to have managed to get the Youtube algorithm to focus it's short films on possums.  Not complaining, I think they're cute.  Here's one posing for the camera.  Art!


     People in the Comments who had possums as pets say they are friendly and affectionate and easy to housetrain.  It's also highly amusing seeing them eat new food for the first time, as they appreciate both the taste and the novelty.


Hubris Hits Home

I came across a short tale of Unintended Consequences on Youtube that encapsulates Malicious Compliance and the unusual case of a manager admitting a mistake.  Art!


     The narrator, a PUrchasing MAnager, hereafter PUMA, had been using a local firm that made the type of baubles you see above, and had done so for 5 years with no problems.  The firm charged a markup that included them dealing with customs, shipping and QC.

     Enter new Director Of OPerations, hereafter DOOP.  He was convinced of his own business genius and that PUMA was squandering money on a local firm, so they were going to cut out this middleman, go directly to the source, in The Populous Dictatorship and save 15%.

     PUMA explained this would be a very bad idea, which DOOP immediately dismissed, saying he was just lazy.  Art!

"Expediting a very bad decision"

     PUMA handed DOOP a list of Chinese bauble suppliers and he went to work.  He had nous enough to realise that the Free On Board price didn't include the cost of shipping to South Canada (it covers everything up to goods being loaded onto a freighter) and so wired money to a supplier.  However, he didn't hire a customs broker, so when the baubles arrived in a 40-foot shipping container, they were impounded by Customs & Border Patrol.  Ooops.  Art!


     He hadn't registered an Importer Security Filing, which needs to go to CBP at least 24 hours before imports arrive.  Thus the container sat unclaimed for 10 days.  Ooops again.  It didn't sit there for free, CBP charge 'demurrage fees' for items not claimed or recovered, which fees already wiped out the 15% saving he was seeking.

     The next day DOOP ate humble pie and asked PUMA for the phone number of the local supplier.

     

Blimey!  Just heard the chimes of an ice-cream van, first of the year.  You're being optimistic, matey.


Finally -

From my "QI Book Of Banter".

'I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.'  Poul Anderson, South Canadian sci-fi author.  He's not on the list of 68, which is a bit of an admission as he won boatloads of awards and I've enjoyed his work.





*  The name for getting rid of several hundred of my paper children.  Awful times.

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