Trust Me, Broe
NO! That is not a typo. Do not question my spelling unless you want a taste of the Remote Nuclear Tormentor. Which is exceedingly unpleasant, just to be clear. What's more, as it does not disintegrate the target into a cloud of radioactive vapour, as the Remote Nuclear Detonator does, I can torment you repeatedly <rubs hands with malicious glee>. Art!
Apologies for mucking about with the package label, but the entire thing would have included my address, which I'm a teensy-tiny bit apprehensive about posting onto teh Interwebz.
So, what could this mysterious package from Estonia be? O I thought you'd never ask! Art!
Tasteful and stylish. I ordered it in October and had forgotten what the badge design was. In case you're unsure, this is a rendition of what Jake Broe calls the 'Bingo Board' and we'll get to that later. The postcard also has a photo of Jake on the other side. Art!
Jake resplendent in his uniform from his USAF days as a Nuclear Missile Operations Officer, a post he held for 4 years after 2 years of training. You might expect him to be a sober-minded conservative who votes for the Wizard Gizzard Lizard party and has a MAGA sticker on his car. Not a bit of it. He loathes the Orange Land Whale with a passion, and all the poisonous coterie that surround BOOH.
For those of you unaware, Jake has raised about $6 million in aid for Ukraine, purchasing 5 batches of adapted 4WD trucks. So, for this Intro, I am going to feature his Youtube channel's latest vlog. Art!
Sectors"
Jake always starts with the running casualty totals as put out by Ukraine, and the latest one is both eye-opening and jaw dropping. Art!
I guessed that the orcs would be up to 1.25 million casualties by the end of this year and I'm not far off. This, to be analytical about it, is about 6 times the original invasion force of February 24th 2022. Over the whole of 2025 the orcses have gained as much as 0.5% of Ukraine in exchange for 400,000 casualties, a subject we shall return to. Art!
This graphic stood at '1' for a couple of years. No, we do not count all the Ruffian naval vessels now sitting on the bottom of the Black Sea. Art!
This is the Ukrainian 'Kostiantyn Hoholenko's 'Bingo Board', listing all the major refineries in Mordorvia, how far they are from Ukraine and when a Firepoint drone or two paid a visit. Art!
I put this illo up so you can see where the tasteful and refined badge design comes from. This refinery was last given a dose of 'kinetic sanctions' at the end of August. It took the orcs 4 months to repair it, and then BOOM kinetic sanctions once again. According to 'War Translated', whom I think is Estonian, the ELOU-AVT-5 unit was damaged, the functions of which make it sound like one of the delicate, expensive and highly flammable cracking units. Ooops. No refining being done for another 4 months, then, which means a loss of about $1.5 billion.
Then Jake examined a set of economic data put up on Twitter by 'Evgen Istrebin' which I have already seen. At this point there are two economies in Mordorvia: the military-industrial one and the civilian sector, and only the MI one was doing well (until recently). Mind you, if you fail to hit your MI quota you get arrested and the FSB takes over your business. And you don't get to decide what your quota is, the Kremlin decides that.
ANYWAY things are - how shall I put it? - Dog Buns! awful for the civilian economy. Art!
EVERYTHING is down in 2025. Nor are these figures guesstimates from MI6 or the CIA, they are data supplied by the Ruffian statistics agency Rosstat, so they may have been given a positive spin as Mordorvian state agencies are not known for scrupulous honesty. As an example, tractors, essential for agriculture, are down by 61%. Bulldozers, essential for construction, are down 37%.
It gets worse in this slow-motion trainwreck. Art!
The very risky military tactic of robbing Pyotr to pay Pavel. Allegedly, this is why the Ukrainians regained Kupyansk; orcses had been sent from that region to try and conquer Pokrovsk, leaving weak areas even before their push south. There was a recent statement from an Ukrainian intelligence officer that in November, for the first time, there were not enough new orcses to replace losses, making the problem above much worse. Jake speculated that Putin might try another mobilisation in 2026, to raise more 300,00 troops. Troops who are not interested in the Special Idiotic Operation and want no part of it, who are likely to desert at the first opportunity or flee the country, and who can't be properly trained, armed or supplied. Art!
Prez Zed at Kupyansk
Nobody dares to show Putinpot this photo or he'd soil himself with rage. Tee and indeed hee.
Sack That Sub-Editor!
You'll see what I mean in a minute. Art!
You can tell this is South Canadian because they spell 'Honour' incorrectly.
What is the 'Pop-Tarts Bowl'?
What is a 'Mascot Ring'?
Is 'Halftime' a location or an event?
Let me dig a little. Art!
So! It's that South Canadian version of rugby that they confusingly call 'Football'.
A Mascot Ring of Honor is a specific, lighthearted award created by the Pop-Tarts Bowl college football game to commemorate the edible mascots that have been "sacrificed" (eaten) in previous bowl games.
Conrad has never eaten a Pop-Tart in his life and has no intention of changing that fact. And that sub-editor is still fired.
Just What You Never Knew You Needed
My news feed throws up bizarre sidebar items and this one is an example. Art!
This is the type of pit they are offering to cover. I suspect that upper illo was the result of somebody inept using an AI Art Generator, because there is no safety pit visible.
This Sounds Like A Drama In Two Parts
Yet another entry from the 'Museum Of Failure', which is an excellent resource if a bit light on detail when needed. Art!
This is 'Old Breed', which was a beer-flavoured whisky retailed by the Seagram company. It was the brainchild of Edgar Bronfman Junior, who had recently taken over the business from his father, when it had been a profitable going concern.
It was not a success. Apparently it smelled vile and tasted worse, so one wonders how it got through any kind of testing process. Unless Edgar just ordered it to be made anyway, as he had a track record of making bad decisions. Art!
Out Of Curiosity
Conrad popped over to 'Box Office Mojo' to see how 'Sinners' was doing. Pretty dang well, it seems, but it also depends on what their overall budget was. According to teh Interwebz, $90 million. Then you have to factor in distribution and promotion, so possibly another $30 million on top of that, making $120 million total. Art!
They only get back half the box office, which is still $183 million, or a profit of $63 million. Don't be surprised if there's a sequel, because the post-credits scene hints at the possibility.
Finally -
Degsy chalked up a note on the kitchen chalkboard, about us needing washing-up liquid, which Wonder Wifey mis-read as 'Fairy Blood'. So I may have to stroll up to the shops to get a bottle of gory elf-liquid.
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