Greetings, Gentle Reader
One of Conrad's constant cognostications is what to put in the Intro, because you can only entertain people with tanks, atom bombs, zombies, Codewords and Colin Furze for so long, before people get fed up and demand more variety. What else might we choose to defame in depth? Art!
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| Not sure how to , describe this, except as 'flattering' |
Hmmm. That's the AI Art Generator working off a prompt of 'Sharon Stone Oliver Stone Devyn Stone'. We can probably agree which is Sharon. This simple 6 name input might very well generate pages and pages of content, thanks to acting, directing, scriptwriting, sardonic legal commentary and 'Harvey Birdman Attorney At Law' for which we shout hurrah! Fecundity it's own reward.
ANYWAY I was wondering what to concentrate upon for the Intro, as the topic of 'Stones' has not been exhausted at all, see above for evidence.
Then there is the secondary optional input, which I have decided might be centred around 'Dogs'. Art!
Your Humble Scribe has never understood what Battersea Power Station had to do with this album. If you squint hard you can see the big pink pig floating between two of the chimneys.
ANYWAY my point is that there are an innumerable number of dogs present in the 'Dog' section of my 'Brewer's Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable', but which only have a single line or a short paragraph entry. How to craft a solid Intro from fifty different miniscule entries? Art!
Dogs it is. Here's the 'Doge' meme. Those of you with sharp eyes and a good memory will recognise this breed as a Shiba, which is the breed used as an emblem by NAFO - The North Atlantic Fella Organisation (also Fellarinas), whom are dedicated to fighting orcish disinformation on teh Interwebz. HOWEVER - yes that word again - the Doge meme became viral in 2013, which predates the orcish invasion of Krim, so the two are entirely coincidental. Art!
The best thing about DOGE? It’s dead.
By
Larry Edelman Globe Columnist,Updated December 1, 2025, 2:00 p.m.
The other iteration of DOGE, it being the so-called 'Department Of Government Efficiency', as helmed by Elong Tusk. Conrad is unsure if the acronym was pronounced 'Dowg' or 'Dogee', which is immaterial as it was quietly disbanded in November this year, eight months ahead of schedule and with no glorious fanfare about how much money it had saved. Elong himself had departed it months earlier, when he and BOOH had a falling-out and there was much hurling of toys from prams. Dogegone, you might say. Art!
'But Conrad! Those are cattle! What can they possibly have to do with dogs?' I hear you quavil (if that wasn't a word it is now and I want royalties if if ever makes the dictionaries).
Because of South Canadian slang, I'll have you know.
"Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies"
From an anonymous cowboy song. The 'dogies' in question are calves, orphaned or otherwise motherless, which had to be fed by the cowboys on a diet of flour and water, resembling dough. Hence the nickname 'dough-guts', which transmuted over time into 'Dogies'.
Nothing to do with the canine species, it's just a song lyric that has stuck with me for a good fifty years and Conrad only just learned the real meaning. Art!
I reckon my 'Brewer's' deserves a co-writing credit for this Intro. Under the heading 'Dog' it gifts this noun with three different meanings: items to do with canis familiaris itself, things having a 'mongrel' quality about them such as 'Dog Latin' and things of an inferior ranking, of which there are many. Art!
Dog Rose
This is a species of wild rose, which is one reason the canine appellation is attached. The other is that the Greeks of antiquity believed it cured the bite of a mad dog. Given how rational and analytical the Greeks were, I don't believe this erroneous concept would have persisted for very long.
Then there is 'Dog Grass', another name for 'Couch grass' (back, JD, back!) which, if Art will do the honours -
'Tis a frothing nuisance to gardeners, but is eaten by dogs when they are off their food, acting as a purge to empty their stomach, which is probably more detail than you wanted or needed, and quite enough to end this Intro.
Fine, one Intro completed and we've only begun to lightly buff the surface of 'Dog'. This one will run and run. I bet you can hardly wait.
Lost And In Translation
'NAFOViking', one of the Norwegians who posts regularly on Twitter and whom has been swanning about eastern Europe and Ukraine of late, posted a picture that piqued my interest, to put it mildly. Art!
OF COURSE - obviously! - when I go to find his Tweet, Elong Tusk has deliberately hidden it, so I've had to make do with a Finish advert, which will boil his urine, as he is always mocking Suomi.
DO NOT TRANSLATE THE BRAND! We're not going to do on the blog as it describes Putinpot as an <ahem> 'male appendage'.
It seemed that a British brewery sold PH, which Conrad was hopeful about. Art!
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| Three years too late |
Alas, they only brewed it in 2022, raising a couple of thousand pounds for Ukraine, and then discontinued. Were there any other sources? Yes, there were!
Except they were all South Canadian, and the costs to import would make it prohibitively expensive.
It seems, from NAFOViking's post, that PH is still available in cans in Ukraine, but possibly not for export. I shall have to dig deeper on this one and see if anything can be done before Christmas. Because it would be surpassingly cool to turn up to a New Year's party toting a six-pack of this. Might have to let people taste it first before giving them the translation.
More Muttonheads Mangling Machinery
Yes, we are back with 'Discovery Tech US' and more people determined to win a Darwin Award, or at the very least get a serious nomination for the present and consideration for the future. Art!
That script in the upper port corner is Cyrillic, so this clip is from either Serbia, Bulgaria, Ukraine or, most likely, Ruffia.
What's out of shot is a whacking big piece of industrial plant being moved from A to B via crane. Art!
Here's Nicolai The Numpty, blithely walking underneath the slung load, which is now casting a shadow, literal, upon the lower ranks of machinery. Art!
Ooops. Thirty tons deadweight falling. There's no soundtrack on this clip or you'd hear Nicolai screeching in fear shortly before an enormous crash. Art!
Whatever was - very definitely past tense - connected to this harness to lift the machinery failed completely. Now it, and what it hit, are going to need a rigourous check to see how much damage has been sustained.
What about Nicolai The Numpty? Art!
He survived. That's him, making Usain Bolt look laggardly, as he skeddadles and makes a personal promise to himself never to stand under a load being lifted.
The Algorithm Has Lost It's Rhythm
I have posted in the past about how the tracking algorithm swings wildly from realistic, to barely possible, to flattering heights of silliness. We have reached another of those heights. Art!
Ten per cent of the previous month's total IN ONE DAY?
You would think the FSB would try and diminish my totals, not inflate them. Or - is that saturnine smirk on the face of Kyrylo Budanov there for another reason? Art!
Hmmm perhaps we are big in the forests and swamps of Suomi. Perhaps.
Go On, Let's Mock 'Tank Encyclopedia' Again
As has come to be a bit of a tradition here on BOOJUM! let us put up an illo. Art!
Leaving aside the impertinent fact that they CONTINUE to mis-use the Bob Semple tank, very definitely one of the worst armoured fighting vehicles to ever exist, the Teutons were not alone in carrying out such engineering feats. Art!
The British Vickers Mk VI Anti-Aircraft tank, mounting 4 BESA machine guns in a power-driven turret, brought into use after Dunkirk to counter the Luftwaffe. I have a couple of them in 1/300 scale somewhere. Art!
The British Crusader Mk III Anti-Aircraft tank, mounting a pair of 20 mm Oerlikon cannon, for use in accompanying armoured divisions coming ashore after D-Day.
So, Teutons not alone or unique. We may come back to this. I bet you can hardly wait.
And that is it, Vulnavia!
* It took some sleight of hand to steal this from the 'Boston Globe' website
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