Right, You Perishing Shower!
To be authentic, that should be rendered in capitals, as if it were the Company Sergeant Major exercising his lungs on the drill square NOT FORESHADOWING AT ALL as he looks at his charges.
You ought to be prepared for this venture into the First Unpleasantness, as we have of late been concentrating on Manglement in South Canada, employment law minutiae in that same country, and - by the time you read this - a critical analysis of stairs and how they deter alien attack. Art!
Artwork by Ron Turner
Just to be clear, this is a comic strip of 'The Daleks' that I came across when looking for a completely different image, which I recall from reading it a good fifty years ago, being a giant vivarium full of enormous tropical plants, which the Daleks traversed on inclined ramps that encircled it.
This, however - first use today! - is even better, as it shows the pepperpots using rocket-powered chairs to traverse stairs, a good 20 years before the events we described in yesteryon's post. The strip was on the b
ANYWAY let us proceed, first of all with a 'Charley Horse', which is the South Canadian colloquialism for a muscle cramp in the thigh or calf. Art!
It is suggested that the term comes from South Canadian version of rounders, with no cogent explanation of exactly how. Conrad has suffered from them on occasion and they are rather unpleasant.
Thus the horse. Art!
As you can see, 'Charley's Aunt' has indeed been made into a film, on many occasions, all derived from the original 1892 play by Brandon Thomas. The plot concerns Charley's aunt being impersonated by a male friend of the protagonist for reasons that seemed a good idea at the time (alcohol was probably involved).
Thus the aunt.
You ought to have realised by now that the 'Combatant' is in fact young Charley Bourne, from the pages of 'Charley's War', which I am reading again after having finished 'Saga'. Art!
As per usual, I shall endeavour to back up, or criticise, what Pat and Joe have written or illustrated, as it accords with the truth, because I haven't read 297 books on the First Unpleasantness for nothing. Art!
Note the tommies using a French Hotchkiss machine gun on a tripod mount for anti-aircraft work. The Teuton biplane they are failing to track is, judging by the date of August or September 1916, an Albatros D1. There is a bit of poetic licence at play here, as Teuton bombers operating from several thousand feet up would be far more likely to attack British rear lines. Art!
In the fabric
A real ailment, because both sides used lachrymatory gasses to affect their opponent's eyes. A soldier with eyes running like a tap is combat ineffectual, even if it is only temporary, and those so afflicted often suffered chronic eye problems later in life. Art!
I selected this frame because it shows the 'tag' attached to Weeper's uniform, with details of what his ailment is. Unbeknownst to me, this is Joe riffing on a real photograph of real casualties, very probably mustard gas. Art!
Gas put the 'Ghastly' in warfare
Art!
Ol' Joe getting in a spanking depiction of a Mark I with all the nuts and bolts in place. The French peasantry being frightened out of their wits is perfectly accurate, even hardened Teuton soldiers on the battlefield were scared witless by these metal monsters. Art!
The protective netting on top is to keep Teuton grenades off. Note the long 6-pounder ex-naval gun in the sponson, and steering wheels to rear. Art!
Spot on, and a rather neglected topic, kudos to Pat for getting this level of detail into the script. Overhead trolley systems were used to transport wounded, as it was far quicker than a party of two or four stretcher bearers plodding over the duckboards. Art!
Art!
This is a rather shocking scene, as we see Charley's mate Ginger killed when a shell exploded right on top of him, a character we have come to know and revile indignantly yet understandingly due to his cowardice and incessant moaning: Ginger the Whinger is an apt title*. He'd been by Charley's side for months and months, going into battle and surviving, only to be killed by a random shell. The censor would never have allowed a depiction of him being literally blown apart - this comic is read by young children after all - but in a really disturbing scene we see a stunned and uncomprehending Charley carrying a sack, in which are Ginger's mortal remains. Art!
This is sobering stuff and I'm only half-way through Volume I with another two to go. Don't worry, you'll get a dedicated breakdown of Charley's further adventure as I read them. I bet you can hardly wait.
Okay, Let's Lighten Up A Little
Just a little, can't have you getting complacent or anything.
Whilst on the subject of 'Stairs' yesteryon, I quite overlooked one entry that's generated enough column inches over the decades to fill a short run of broadsheet newpapers. Art!
Only joking. Art!
From the lyrics, I think it's about the world's richest woman - a Bulgarian crypto-scammer I believe - funding the construction of the world's biggest flight of stairs. Whilst also hedge-rowing, probably a reference to offshore investment funds.
They Missed Bonfire Night
Imagine, if you will, living in Hawaii. A tropical paradise, apart from their pineapple industry - which will be obliterated when I take over and in short order too - which, as with all paradises, must have a secret worm or canker at it's heart. Except this cankery nematode is not very secret. Art!
Spectacular and free, which are the plus aspects of living on an active tectonic zone. Mount Kilauea is having a spat. Sadly, no puny humans to ive a sense of scale.
Here's One Conrad Can Get Behind
I have always mocked 'Moscow' Marjorie Traitor Greene, as being a mouthpiece of the Kremlin, and Beijing too, as she spouts their propaganda on a regular basis. Judging by social media, she pays attention only to Ruffian vatniks, and their Chinese version, to a lesser extent. Art!
What next? Well, she may join her oleaginous ex-running mate Matt Gaetz on the One America Network television channel**, which is about her deserved level of skill and personality. Which is to say, none.
Another Of Those Unconvincing Apocalypses
Is that the correct plural of 'Apocalypse'? Blogger isn't jibbing at it so Conrad must have gotten it right. This matters a lot to a grammar and spelling Nazi.
ANYWAY AGAIN after the unconvincing bloviating about nuclear war - which has layers of deliberate intent grafted on to prevent it happening, entirely successfully so far - we now have 'Asteroid Impact'. Art!
"NASA says there are currently no known asteroids headed toward Earth"
A tempest in a thimble, in other words. We here at BOOJUM! have covered this topic on numerous occasions and as long as we get advanced warning, this is not insurmountable. Not only DART but also NEAR (Near Earth Asteroid Rendezvous) proved this.
For example, and a whole lot more.
Finally -
Because I need a short and succinct item to round us off and hit Word Count.
Art!
This one caught my attention. Foxes? Brakes damaged? Are they going equipped with tools and hacksaws and a vandalistic attitude?
Allow me to read the article and get back to you in 10 seconds -
Foxes, yes, also perhaps pine martens or rodents. It seems these cars have exposed wiring underneath their chassis, which all of the above love love love to chew upon, especially if made of organic materials, which are extra-specially scrummy. Solution: surround car with <drum roll> chicken wire.
And with that we are done!
* He confessed to stealing Charley's mouth-organ when he thought Charley was about to die.
** A far-right MAGA channel with a pretty small audience, just not small enough.
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