When Florida Was Horrider

We Are Getting Into Part Two Of FAFO's Revenge

Let me recap that our narrator, Florida Antagonist Feeling Offensive, hereafter FAFO, has fallen foul of his new-build estate's Home Owner Association, who have hit him with over $4,000 in fines for alleged violations, fees and legal expenses.

     FAFO was not one to take such capricious behaviour lightly.  In fact, they were provoked to gird their loins for battle, review all the HOA bylaws, book two days leave and begin plotting their vengeance.  Art!

Note allies in background

     They probably used electric lighting rather than candles, just to be clear.

     One of the salient features of FAFO's revenge was that all communication to and from the HOA had to be via certified mail, which cost circa $7 per missive.  Keep this sum in mind.

    Step Two was drafting a single-page memo that explained how a member of the HOA could request a copy of the bylaws, which the HOA had never issued in the past, because knowledge is power and they wanted all of it.  Art!

 

HOA hogging the bylaws.  A bit literal, this AI Art Generator.

     Not wanting to hog the spotlight, FAFO made sure these sheets were anonymous, because litigation.  This is South Canada we're talking about, after all.  He printed off 150 copies and with the help of a few neighbours who were privy to The Admin Avenger's secret identity, posted them to all homeowners on the estate.

     If that was Step Three, then Step Four was challenging the HOA to provide receipts for all the Certified Mail they had sent out, and he then sends 23 CM of his own challenging every single violation he'd been accused of.

       

     You see, under Florida law, any agency such as an HOA has to reply under the principle of 'Rebuttable Presumption' within 10 working days.  Via CM.

     A couple of days later the HOA sent an e-mail full of pus and vinegar in reply, hotly asserting that all the violations were valid and that FAFO has 25 days left to pay up.

     FAFO, acting as pettily as they can, yet also completely correctly, informs the HOA any communications need to be sent by CM.

     Silence on the HOA front.  By now they must be bitterly regretting ever having tangled with FAFO, having anticipated a nice easy windfall of $4,000 when they left that docket of violations taped to his front door.  Sadly not.  Art!

A Florida home perhaps not entirely unlike FAFO's

     Neglecting to reply gives FAFO grounds to threaten legal action against the HOA, as their lack of response under Rebuttable Presumption means they have breached the terms of the Florida HOA Act.  Ooo-errr, Matron!  In layman's terms, the HOA Board would become personally liable for any abuse of fiduciary duty, face civil penalties and possible criminal prosecution.

     The residents were later informed by way of the husband of a Board member about what happened after FAFO's little 150-page spree.  Over 100 members requested copies of the bylaws; 25 members with either an Intent To Lien or an actual Lien against their property also wanted receipts from the CMs that the HOA should have sent out.  Any member who had been charged with a violation also wanted to see the CM receipts that should have been sent out.  Art!

     The HOA rapidly ran out of money thanks to all the CMs they had to reply to, not to mention their legal fees, and resigned en masse rather than risk being sued into oblivion.  The incoming Board found that their predecessors had sent out exactly 0 CMs, hoping that the threat of an Intent To Lien would frighten people into just paying up. the junction  This is all kinds of illegal.

     Why risk prosecution or even prison carrying out such blatant dishonesty?

     Ah, thereby hangs a tale.  The Board members were trying to extort money in order to buy a vacant lot that sat in front of their homes, to prevent it from being sold and developed as a petrol station or mini-market or bar.

     A happy ending for FAFO, who had spent what they felt was an incredibly satisfying $350 on Certified Mail.  Not only that.  Art!

     D R Horton, the developer he'd been having a long dispute with about standing water on his property, discovered who had sunk the HOA Board so devastatingly, and abruptly stopped quibbling and delaying, catching a sudden dose of 'hurry-up'.  the junction  The grounds were re-graded, the sides of the property were re-sodded and French drains put in to cope with the standing water.  An excellent return on only $350!

More Financial Failures For The Flabby Fraudster

You'd need a good memory to remember this one, which Conrad barely does, as it goes back three years.  Art!

     Dozy Donold and his attorney at the time, Alina Habba, brought a lawsuit against Clinton and others, which was subsequently thrown out of court and a fine of $937,000 rendered about the pair.  The suit was seen as frivolous, which in legal terms means stupid, inconsequential and an utter waste of the court's time, hence the big fine.  Art!

Alina 'Hubba-Hubba' Habba

     There are two reasons she was Trump's attorney WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS! in that she was cheap, not being a very experienced or qualified attorney, and she kept bumping into him at his golf club.  The appeal judge's observation about her is pretty cutting -

"No reasonable lawyer would have filed it"

     Since BOOH hates losing, he will now push for the Supreme Court to review the case and if they either refuse or go along with the lower court's ruling, he will try to stall payment for as long as possible, most likely by dropping down dead.

A Load Of Bull

Dozer, that is.  You may never have paused to consider what engineering troops need to be able to carry out their construction, repair or demolition duties whilst under fire, which is a wickedly ignorant way to cruise through life.  Art!

Bulldozer at Bovvie

     Give a street greet to the Centaur armoured bulldozer.  The 'Centaur' was another cruiser tank, given away by the name beginning with 'C'.  Externally it was identical to the Cromwell, but had been made-do with the inferior Liberty engine instead of a Meteor.  What's missing with this vehicle are the cables that ought to extend from that jib to the dozer blade.  These cables kept the blade off the ground until it was needed.  Let me see if I can dig up an illo.  Art!

    There you go!

Another Unsatisfying Anti-Apocalypse

Dog Buns!  Have these bafunes never heard of 'Exit Mundi'?  It was an excellent Dutch website listing all the many dozens and dozens of ways that the world might end.  Sadly no longer with us, they went defunct, ironically enough, over a decade ago.  Art!

     You can make out the titles if you get up close enough.

     ANYWAY the somewhat lacklustre 'Espresso' webpage we've been looking at is now onto Apocalypse Four: Extreme Global Warming.  Art!

     They manage to undersell it hugely, don't they?  Nor do they mention wildfires, which have been plaguing South Canada, Ockerland and the hinterlands of Mordorvia this year.  The Allotment Of Eden could do with a few more heatwaves and droughts, thank you very much.  And, no, I'm not going to explain which countries those are, you ought to know by now.

Let Me Play You A Video Nasty

You'll see what I mean when I publish a few still from the vlog about SHREDDERS! Art?

A big blue bin bulging with books

     Judging by the fact that they are now lurking in a bin, Conrad is guessing that these tomes no longer have homes.  Poor benighted things.  Art!

The horror!  The horror!

     I would guess that big fat paperback books are quite difficult to recycle in anything less than one of these Teeth Of Terror shredding machines.  Art!

     Congratulations, you now have ten cubic metres of confetti. This lot will probably end up as a roll of 20-ply hanging on a bathroom wall.  How have the mighty fallen.

And with that we are finished for Friday!