The Detective In Question Would Be Your Humble Scribe
Since I was venturing into Babylon Lite ('Oldham' if we're being formal), 'twas incumbent upon me to have a shave and shower first thing Saturday morning, lest I frighten people with my appearance.
Where does the 'Detective' part of this title come in? O I thought you'd never ask! Art!
Okay, I had no idea this existed and have no idea what it is, but if it features
More like it. From waaaaaay back in the Seventies, the debut of Elvis Costello (and The Attractions).
ANYWAY Conrad recently re-discovered a pack of remaindered diced beef in the fridge, and had half a carton of sour cream going spare, thanks to making pashka. I decided to make 'Zharkoe', an Ukrainian beef and potato stew that I've done previously, which requires a lot of simmering on the hob. The recipe is one I'd written down on notepaper, having come across it on teh Interwebz, and this is the first part of the detective story, because - Art!
My hand-written recipes. This is a culled version of the original total, because I ruthlessly binned anything without a title, plus a lot of recipes written on notepad paper only slightly larger than a thumbnail. My eyesight is bad enough already, I don't want to make it worse. The remaining recipes have been arranged in alphabetical order and I now need to file them individually in a binder inside transparent holders.
Could I find that Zharkoe recipe? No I could not! I went through all the loose papers I have and it was completely absent, the unspeakable swine. I have probably placed it in a safe place between the covers of a book, except I cannot find the book, and there are too many to flick through in search of a single piece of paper. So Conrad wrote the recipe out by hand again. Art!
Since I was hauling my elderly and scrofulous carcass around Babylon Lite anyway, I hied me to Sainsbo's and bought double cream. You may not be able to tell from the rather blurry photo above; it instructs to mix in cornflour and double cream to create a thickener. Also, I used coriander, not dill, as coriander is the most wonderful of herbs, a hill I will die on. Art!
Zharkoe in the pan. Later on it will be in Conrad. That sour cream I didn't use to make the thickener? To be used when consuming the zharkoe, as Ukrainians typically put sour cream on everything, even sour cream.
Detectiving, Part Two
As you should surely know by now, Conrad attended Richard's annual 'Crisis Point' games a fortnight ago, and one of the things I came back with was a set of hex-and-counter boardgames. Art!
The one to starboard, "Tannenberg", is not a problem, it's a single game with only two sides, German and Ruffian.
On the other hand, "Modern Battles II" poses considerable problems. There are 4 modestly-sized games with 4 different maps, all on different subjects, and Richard has diligently separated and clipped all the counters, putting them into ziplock bags. Art!
The problem is that you might expect 8 sets of unit counters, thanks to 4 x 2 number of opponents, except that one game, "Bundeswehr", has the British ('British Army Of the Rhine'), West Germans, East Germans and Soviets, and you can't tell which bag of units are West or East German.
Here an aside. You can tell these games are from loooooong ago as not only are West and East Germany a thing, so is the Soviet Union (I know, I know, it's usually the 'Sinister Union' here on the blog but I am being succinct for clarity's sake), and another game takes place around Zagreb in another blast from the past: Yugoslavia. The games came out in 1977 and the Yugoslavia one very presciently mentions a civil-war scenario between Serbia and Croatia. Art!
Another thing that complicates matters is that the Order Of Battle, meaning which units are present and where, doesn't mention individual unit identities, merely the ratings on their counter. Being told "Soviet Motor Rifle Division 1-1-6" to be placed at hex 1057" leaves out which unit they are talking about.
However - that word again! - there is hope. Your Humble Scribe did a Google search for the games quad, wanting to see if there were any unit counters on display that might illustrate the above problem. Not quite. Art!
Excellent! This is how the counters were arrayed on their - motherboard? - before being divvied up and put into bags. We now have to spend a couple of hours allocating blu-tak'd units onto sheets of A4 paper with headings about whom, exactly, they are*. Batching the detectives?
Being A Hard Caskmaster
NO! That is not a typo! It is an hilarious pun, hilarious I tell you!
I am now going to carry out a Paste-and-copy action we don't often execute here at BOOJUM!. Art?
This resonates, rather, with the 'detective' theme. Previously Conrad wondered if there were 'sherry cask scams' as there are and have been so often with whisky casks. I did my usual digging and found nothing as obvious as the criminals flogging vastly-over-priced whisky, in the sherry market. In fact Google simply threw up all the scams I've reported about already concerning whisky.
However - that word again! - there is a webpage concerning sherry in Spain, which I have bookmarked. Art!
This promises to be interesting, if grim, reading and I will most assuredly let you know.
Here's One Conrad Can Get Behind
You may be aware of Richard Osman, the immensely tall chap behind 'Pointless', which is one of the most damnably addictive programs ever invented, like Crack For Quizzers. He's also an author, the writer behind "The Thursday Murder Club". Art!
I have read three of these and they are highly entertaining. Conrad only hopes he is as sprightly mentally and physically as the sextet involved when he reaches their age or even a decade earlier. Art!
Conrad, being of that kind of mind, wonders who is going to be the Polish supporting character, who is incredibly adept at everything he turns his hand to: fixing a leak, repairing an engine, murdering somebody? We shall see.
O hang on, did a bit of digging. Art!
'Bogdan', for your information, is not an Anglo-Saxon name.
Here's One I Prepared Earlier
As they used to say on 'Blue Peter' back in the day. Art!
I had an overspill bowl of what wouldn't fit in the tub and it's not bad, coriander and garlic being very definitely present. You have to be told this as taste and smell does not translate well in the written medium.
Compare And Contrast
This is one of the tropes in English exams that Conrad took when he was much, much younger, though still as handsome. You would be given two works and told to find where they had common ground and where they differed. A difficult task when it was 'Crime And Punishment' and 'Barbie Goes To The Beach'. Art!
That's the Finnish road net versus the Ruffian one. Or what passes for it. My my, doesn't it remind you of another horribly contrasting photograph. Art!
These photos are from a Twitter (Ha! take that, Tusk!) thread I partook in, and asked a few questions that real live Finns responded to. We may (that is, 'we will') come back to this.
Your Honour, I rest my case. Until tomorrow, at any rate.
* To you, a cruel and unusual punishment. To Conrad, great fun.
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