If I Were To Say "-tariff"

You Would Immediately Stop Reading

Not that I could blame you, thanks to Captain Capslock turning the world trading order upside down and inside out over the past few weeks.

     HOWEVER! and I do like that word, Conrad was being less than honest with his title - how very unusual! - because it should have been "Guitariff", a word I just invented, which is a riff played on a guitar.  You see?  You see what efforts I put into making this blog?  Art!

     This is the late, lamented Jeff Beck, whom Conrad first encountered musically in 1975, when he was playing with the Jan Hammer Group, and encouraging sounds from his guitar that made me wonder what on earth he was doing with it.  Jeff was always a musician's musician, more interested in having a pint down the local than revving it up with drugs and floozies, which is why he made it to 78 without looking like a reanimated corpse.

     ANYWAY, in what the ballfoot game pundits would call 'very much against the run of play', Jeff scored two Top Ten hits in the late Sixties: "Hi Ho Silver Lining" and "Love Is Blue".

Jeff Beck ‎– Hi Ho Silver Lining (1967)

Love Is Blue - Jeff Beck     

     Jeff came to hate these songs and refused to play them live, but in later years he came to accept that they were hit songs of his and, somewhat begrudgingly, played them live.  Those links above will take you to the respective songs and you can listen to the guitariffs instead of read about them.  Also -

BECK'S BOLERO (1967) by the Jeff Beck Group - with backwards guitar ending

     That last one is more typical of Jeff's output.  

     ANYWAY as I mentioned, Ol' Jeff was a muso through and through, and Your Humble Scribe came across a Youtube vlog by one Rick Beato, with the title - Art!

     Ol' Beaty is a musician in his own right, with a long pedigree in playing, producing and engineering, so he knows his onions.  Watching him shake his head in stunned incomprehension at Jeff's technical virtuosity is rather amusing.  Art!

     This is Jeff showing his dexterity with the 'whammy bar', which is that mysterious little lever you see on guitars and nothing to do with chocolate.  Or alcohol.  Hearing what sounds Jeff coaxes out of his instrument is an audio illumination.  These are indeed worthy guitariffs.  When he finished the performance, Jeff depreciates the applause and instead gestures in appreciation to his bass player and drummer, because of his humble Britishness STAND UP FOR KINGIE (AND JEFF).

     If I was feeling merciful I might have stopped the Intro there, except it would be rather short and I have more of -tariffs in me, so buckle up buttercup.  Art!

     Another Youtube vlog.  I haven't checked this one out, but it is certain to include the riff from "Shine On You Crazy Diamond", and there's a Youtube short about this.  

     Don't confuse his Gibson chord with the pedal-steel solo also on "Shine On You Crazy Diamond", which is also recognised as another classic guitariff. If that word ever crops up in 'Collins' then I want royalties.

     Right! I am now going to call this Intro to a halt, as I've extended the word count a tad and am eyeing my pot of loose-leaf Darjeeling.

As I Mentioned Yesteryon

I have caught up with "The War Illustrated" and realised that I'd finished going through my photos of 'Edition 205' and needed to move on to the next Volume, Number 9, and 'Edition 206 11 May 1945'.  Yes, this date marked the effective end of the Second Unpleasantness in Europe, but! recall that TWI is at least two weeks behind in it's publication of pictures.  Art!

     This picture is the last page of 205, and the last page of Volume 8.  Here you can see the River Rhine, Teuton barrier and border, spanned by a South Canadian bridge.  It was the largest water barrier the Allies had to cross after D-Day, running at up to 40 deep when in spate, and at up to 5 knots.  What you can't see, out of shot, are the doubtless scads of light, medium and heavy anti-aircraft guns in position to protect the bridge, because the last gasp of the Luftwaffe was to try and destroy them to slow down the Allied advance.  When the Lufties tried to attack their own Hohenzollern railway bridge at Remagen, captured intact by the South Canadians, they were met with a wall of flak so thick you could walk on it.  Art!

     If you can't resolve the fine print, this picture was taken in Osnabruck, and has a Commando hoisting his unit's flag in the town.  Date of occupation is given as April 3rd, and the fighting has clearly stopped: nobody is wearing a steel helmet, and all weapons are slung, and you wouldn't cluster together in a bunch if there were any people of dubious intent around.  

Bringing 'Point And Laugh' To The Table

You know Conrad's little punnery about Ruffia, calling it 'Modern-day Mordor', ho ho ho.  Much to my surprise, there is actually a constituent republic of Ruffia called 'Mordovia', so I am now going to adopt 'Mordorvia' as another cruel, cruel nickname.  Art!

Malleting Mordovia with missiles

     Conrad is guessing this is a Ukrainian vehicle due to the white cross on the door.  They have used this in the past to help differentiate between their vehicles and those of the orcs, as they both used to have the same equipment.  This is less relevant now as the orcs are running short of everything bar Chinese golf-buggies, and the Ukes are acquiring ever-more Western military kit.  Putin, Shoigu and Gerasimov The Walking Dead Re-Enactor will probably be looking at this headline with dismay.  Why so?  Because their Soviet-era stockpiles are running out and will be gone by the end of this year if not sooner, and their National Wealth Fund is also running short. It may be down to $20 billion by now, helping to fund a war that costs $1 billion per day.

     This is only the start of the bad news for Mordorvia, because - maybe tomorrow.

I ain't translating it, tee hee!

Point And Gasp

One of the people I follow on Twitter is 'War Witch Will Hold This Territory', a mature South Canadian lady who does not conceal her loathing of the Orange Land Whale, nor her support for Ukraine.  She recently suggested people mass-buy into purchasing a book by Miles Taylor, whose forthcoming arrest, prosecution and imprisonment was predicted by 'Jack's House', another pro-Ukranian Tweeter.  Art!

     Conrad had never heard of either Miles Taylor nor his work, so of course - obviously! - I tootled over to 'Abebooks' and had a gander about there.  Art!

@ConradConnolly

Erk! Abebooks is listing some of these volumes for as little as £4 sterling, but with £90 P & P. I may wait until the paperback comes out.

     That's definitely an example of a vendor using P & P to rip off potential buyers, because you'd need a collection of 37 volumes to merit that charge.

     Still, Conrad is interested.  I may get back to you about this.  I mean, what's one more book added to the Book Mountain?

Conrad Unsure

I am composing this Saturday blog on Friday, because tomorrow I shall be off to the fleshpots of Dungworth and 'Crisis Point', all morning and up to the evening, so it's not clear when this will get posted.  I shall, inevitably, be taking photographs of what we get up to.

     For now, I'd better gen up on the scenarios.  Later, pilgrims!