It's A Steal

Conrad Recalls

(as I frequently do) a scene from a South Canadian police procedural television show, back in the days when I watched television.  No, sorry, cannot recall the name.  My point is that the criminal in this scene, by their intrusion and language, proved their guilt outright, and one of the police responded to the other that nobody said criminals had to be smart.

     Well. it would make for a whole series if they were, wouldn't it?  Art!

AI Art Generator strikes again

     

     This apprehension came back to me when reading Quora, looking for anything that might make a good Intro, and I came across a heading thus:

My boss forged my signature on a document turned in to HR, which was something I supposedly stated and agreed to. Can I get her fired?

     Their boss has to be an absolute moron to commit a crime like this.  By forging any document they are providing physical proof of a crime and the risks do not justify the crime here - Your Humble Scribe did a bit of digging on Google and found that, at the lesser level of a misdemeanour, the criminal can still serve 90 days in jail and be fined $1,000.  If classed as felony, then the sentence shoots up to 5 years in prison and $10,000.  Art!

     This brings me on to the first response to that question, and a doozy it was, too.  You see, the Traduced Office Worker, hereafter TOW, had been defrauded by their boss, Blithering Idiot Boss, hereafter BIB, whom had been taking deductions from TOWs payroll for medical insurance, but not paying the relevant insurance company.

     Planning your cunning criminal strategy as being Cross Fingers And Hope came back to bite BIB when TOW's newborn went into the intensive care unit -

     And wasn't paid for.  Ooops.

     TOW sued BIB for insurance fraud and Peak Stupid came in a meeting between the two men and their attorneys - TOWA and BIBA.  You see, BIB produced a document that TOW had allegedly signed, that stated he knew his insurance wasn't being paid and he was taking money under the table to compensate - what is known in legal terms as a whole lot of hooey.  Stop me if I get too technical.  Art!

AI Art Generator is unable to count*

     BIBA and TOWA both wanted copies of this document, which BIB instantly jibbed at, proving something was fishy.

     After the copies were provided, TOW made a production of putting his credit cards on the table between them, signature side up.  Both attorneys compared his signature with that on the document he'd supposedly signed.

     'Do you always mis-spell your signature?' asked BIBA.

     TOW explained that he'd always done this since the age of 18, as it was an elementary anti-forgery measure.  Forgers, you see, tend to spell the names they are forging correctly.  Another ooops moment.

     BIBA promptly fired BIB as a client having WITNESSED HIM COMMITTING A FELONY.  Recall that line about criminals not necessarily being smart?  His parting advice was to settle out of court with TOW, because if it did go to court then he, BIBA, would be able to bear witness against him - no attorney-client privilege here.  Oooops again.

     Well, it took all of until next week before BIB caved and settled out of court with TOW.  No details were given about the amount settled for but it must have been a sizeable sum in order for TOW to pay his attorney and cover the costs of his child in hospital.  South Canadian healthcare ain't cheap.  Art!

     The case between TOW and BIB ended there, but that's not the end of the tale, for TOW, revealing a vindictive streak, had passed on all the details of his errant employer's criminal endeavours to the insurance company.

     Who came at BIB with their own attorneys and got him indicted and convicted on 26 charges.  Unfortunately, no information given about the sentence, yet it wouldn't be light and we're talking years in prison and fines of hundreds of thousands of $$$.  Yet another Oooops moment.  One hopes it was worth it.  BIB: as sharp as a spoon.

The Errinwright Factor

You ought to remember Errinwright, from "The Expanse".  He was the driven, ruthless Earth politico who was willing to commit any crime if it meant putting Earth at an advantage versus Mars and the Belt.  Art!

Bad guy good cause

     

     One of his more trenchant criticisms of his political superior was (slightly censored)

"If he spoke to a janitor, he'd be passionately declaiming about a f****** mop."

     Art!

     Other people have commented that the Orange Land Whale, without JD Vance or Pete 'Braindeath' Hegseth (I made that one up all by myself, can you tell?) in attendance, seems to have taken aboard what Prez Zed said.  He was even mildly critical of Bunker Midget Grandad, which caused Putinpot to suffer loose bowels and instantly talk about negotiations.  Possibly a flash in the pan - hence the Errinwright quote - but we'll see.

"The War Illustrated Edition 207 29thMay 1945"

As already mentioned, by the time of this edition's publication the Allies were already running rampant across Germany, occupying vast swathes of the gimcrack empire.  Art!

          As it says here "On Hitler's Birthday Nemesis Came To Nuremberg"  and if Herr Schickrlgruber was still alive at this point he would be tearing out his hair by the fistful and gnawing at the carpet whilst frothing at the mouth.  Sorry if you can't unsee that image. The Nuremberg stadium (at top)was where the biggest and pompiest rallies of Nazi Germany took place, and now there's a Sherman tank sitting on the field.  I think this is before the giant swastika got explosively demolished as it's slightly out of shot at top of frame.  Tee and hee!

Conrad Cavils

I saw this on my news feed and felt obliged to retort.  Art!

     It's not 'forgotten' as much as it's very difficult to get to.  If Art can drum up a little cartographic help -

     Landlocked and a long way into the Himalayas.  If it had been magically transformed into a European nation, then it most certainly wouldn't have been 'forgotten'.  On the other hand, if the Sanjak of Novi Pazar had swapped places with Bhutan in our magical switcheroo, then nobody would have ever heard of it and it would be 'forgotten', too.  Art!

     The Sanjak.  Yes it is a real place.  How dare you doubt me.  It even gets a mention in one of Thomas Pynchon's modern fables, even if for the life of me I cannot remember which.

Zenith And Nadir

That first word ought to be in quotes and coloured taupe, because it's 'Zenith' and there isn't a nadir, I just felt like waxing poetic.  

     I am now ploughing through the various issues of "200AD" that make up "Phase Three", scattered over six months.  You can bet I'm going to make the most of this lot because of the sheer effort it took to hump these issues down from the Comic Cavern.  Art!

     Cover illo by Steve Yeowell, and oddly enough Conrad prefers his much starker black and white artwork, which, perversely, I'm not going to show you, because I'm horrid that way.

*  But it is free and I'm lazy