Or Vice-Versa
What I'm trying to get across here is that there is very little in the world, especially when it comes to military matters, that is new and novel and different. Instead you get the wheel re-invented, with a flash new fascia, when it's really still just a wheel. Only yesteryon I mentioned that a Ruffian tank getting a turret bustle made up of rocks wasn't exactly new, because gabions have a history going back centuries.
So, when I mention the Challenger tank, people immediately jump to the conclusion that I mean the Chally, as seen in Ukraine. Art!
Frankly, this 70-ton beast puts the s***s* up the Ruffians, who describe it as "Huge and loud" and they're not wrong.
HOWEVER** thanks to my current reading of "Monty's Men" by John Buckley - that's PROFESSOR John Buckley to you - and his previous work "British Armour In The Normandy Campaign", what I actually meant was this particular beast. Art!
The A30 Challenger cruiser, of 1944 vintage. It was an interim design and only 200 were made, but it put the s****s* up the Teutons, as that 17 pounder would make mincemeat of anything armoured.
Please also recall my fond purchase of Robert Citino's "The German Way Of War", where he puts forward a convincing argument that the Teutons never used the word "Blitzkrieg" to describe their Second Unpleasantness strategy and tactics. Instead they used the word "Bewegungskrieg", which is Teuton for "Manoeuvre Warfare". He gives examples going back to the late seventeenth-century to show that what the Allies called Blitzkrieg was simply the logical extension of mobile warfare. Art!
Rob lecturing
Well well what's that spell? Why it's none other than Bernhardt, who runs the Youtube channel "Military History Visualised", and whom is Austrian. His English is excellent, both spoken and written, with a charming accent. We have mentioned him occasionally on the blog. Not too often, don't want him getting pretensions.
Now, Ol' Bernie has posted a positively gleeful vlog about having found the word "Blitzkrieg" in an official Teuton pre-war source of 1937. You may be familiar with that stereotype about the Efficient And Thorough Teuton? Well well Dog Buns! hell, Ol' Bernie is exactly that. Art!
These are official Teuton publications from the Second Unpleasantness and before, which he is able to afford thanks to his Youtube subscribers. He has now been able to shift his focus from secondary sources to primary ones, which is always the best bet for military historians. Art!
The other word, is of course - obviously! - "Bewegungskrieg", and to prove it Ol' Bernie lays out a montage of virtual cuttings to illustrate the point. Art!
That last word is "sovjetrussiche", which means the Sinister Union, who were best mates with the Third Reich at this moment in time, which they hate being pointed out to them. You can now understand how unpleasant Fraktur was to read. I believe it got banned in 1941 because there were suspicions about it having a whiff of Jewishness about it. Art!
Bernie boldly brings out one of his book babies
Ol' Bernie explains that the various texts laud Bewegungskrieg as the highest form of warfare, and that "Stellungskrieg" or positional warfare was to be avoided at all costs. This goes all the way back to Verdun and the Somme, which were attritional slogging matches, heavy on firepower and blood, with minimal movement. Art!
I recently learned that "Old man shouts at cloud" is from "The Simpsons". Conrad is not fluent at all in Teuton, and Fraktur hurts the eyes if you look at it for more than a few seconds straight, but I did notice another reference. Art!
They don't capitalise for some obscure Teuton grammar rule, so let me point out that 'russisch-japanischen kriege von 1904" refers to the Russo-Japanese War that began in 1904. It did indeed devolve at the end into Stellungskrieg and is probably the biggest war you've never heard of.
The Desperate Hours
No! I am not talking about that classic film noir with - O why waste words when we can cattle-prod Art into life.
It also has the late, great Simon Oakland in an uncredited role as a State Trooper. Art!
None of which, inevitably, has to do with the mewling man-child Donald Judas Trump. Why do I mention this insufferable oaf? Well, because he consistently provides BOOJUM! with content, and because his criminal hush-money trial is looming. Jury selection happens in 2 weeks, unless he can wriggle out of it in some way, and he's trying to wriggle wriggle wriggle even as I type. Desperate hours indeed! Both Harry Litman and Joyce Vance, former legal members of the South Canadian Department of Justice, have pointed out the same strategies that Donny might try.
1) Fire his legal team. However, Donny retains many, many lawyers, which is why his legal bills are so enormous. The judge would just tell him to move another trio of incompetents into position.
2) Request Judge Merchan be recused, because - well, essentially because Donny says so. Not going to happen as no new reason, or even old reason, has been put forward.
3) A Close Family Member Has Died. This one probably has both sons and daughter looking over their shoulder, because Dad would definitely throw them under an actual real bus to get out of court.
4) I Don't Feel Well. This tends to have a diminishing effect after the sufferer is over 13.
The thing is, this is definitely not Judge Merchan's first rodeo.
He's also likely to be less than pleased with Bloaty Bafune Biffer Boy castigating his daughter in public on social media. Art!
Turkey-wattle battle!
Less Prose More Picture
We've had two long blocks of text, so time to rock on with "The Daily Beast" and one of their silly Temu advertising sidebars. Art!
This is so obviously a Scunge Bobbler that I feel embarrassed even posting it. When your scunge needs bobbling, OF COURSE you need one of these.
"City In The Sky"
A trio of American soldiers are encountering their first extra-terrestrial, and it's not going swimmingly, to be honest.
The snake slowly turned to face the men
crowding into the doorway, as an incredulous Boyce levelled his pistol.
‘Freeze!’ he barked. The human
head turned slowly towards the doorway as Mower used his rifle barrel to break
the wire connected to the Chief’s headset, and the seated man began to slowly
regain consciousness.
An eye-bleaching bright flash suddenly came in the gloomy single-roomed
shack and Mower let out a brief shout of agony before crumpling to the dusty
boards. Boyce didn’t hesitate and fired
three times, knocking fist-sized holes in the creature, spraying blood and
machine parts across the walls. Werner
fired his rifle, shattering the priest’s “head” apart completely and sending a
volley of shrapnel everywhere. The body
toppled over backwards and hit the floor hard, bouncing.
Boyce strode over and kicked the snake’s head. He’d hit the creature lower down, almost
severing it’s body in two, and the head merely flopped limply. Pulling out his issue knife, he hacked away
until he held a grisly trophy in his hand.
Turning back, he saw that Werner had retrieved Mower’s gun and
binoculars.
‘Dead?’ he asked. Werner nodded,
before clearing his throat.
‘Burnt a hole right through him, sir.’
The younger soldier pointed at the supposed priest’s body. ‘What the hell was that thing, sir? And what was it doing to the Chief?’
Boyce kicked the wrecked artefact, now stinking of burnt plastic and a
disgusting meaty smell reminiscent of bad cooking.
‘This, Specialist, is our saboteur.
And the Chief was it’s tool.’
Snake harming?
Yes! A Have Your Say Has Been Opened!
This concerns the ballfoot game, which Conrad has 0% interest in. On the other hand, we do get hilarious Comments from the fans of said pigs-bladder knockabout, such as -
Bring on the buckets of popcorn!
Finally -
Better go chop up that remaindered bacon rib in the Sunday Stew, and check how the tumble drier is doing. Ah me, what a rock 'n' roll lifestyle I lead!
* "Salts" as in Epsom Salts. What, did you think otherwise?
** A word you knew was coming.
