Are They Still Going?
Conrad is too cowardly to check and see if they are, since they must be at least in their nineties. Their glory days were definitely the late Sixties and the Seventies, which is not bad going for a band. At the moment I'm playing "Burn", which was always one of my favourites, even if everyone goes on about and knows "Smoke On The Water" -
And here an aside. Yes, already! Conrad was the victim of a 'Mondegreen' about that song, which is where you, the listener, mistakes a lyric for a completely different synonym. Art!
"Some stupid with a fag-end burned the place to the ground" is what Your Modest Artisan heard, and here I have to interject for the elucidation of our South Canadian compatriots, because we are talking about the glowing remnant of a cigarette. Art!
"Some stupid with a flare-gun burned the place to the ground" is the correct reading, which is a lot more rock'n'roll than a glowing butt.
Where is this Intro heading? I hear you ask. Well, as ever, we here at BOOJUM! set out on a tangent to a tangent. What was Deep Purple's first hit? Go on, go on, give up and I'll tell you -
- because, inevitably, we are focussing on Donald Judas Trump and his impending 'Hush money' trial, jury selection for which begins on Monday 15th April.
Just to be clear, this is a CRIMINAL trial. Trumpy lost the E. Jean Carroll case, twice, and also the New York fraud trial, but they were all CIVIL trials, meaning that there was no prospect of prison time. Not so this trial. In this trial there is a definite prospect of prison time, because one of the witnesses, the sleazy yet entertaining Michael Cohen (who has a splendid Noo Yawk accent by the way) has already spent time in clink because he expedited the hush money payments to <ahem> 'Adult film star' Stormy Daniels. Art!
Nah. Don't like her nose.
Donald Judas Trump seems to have realised that the spectre of being cooped up whilst wearing an orange boilersuit is approaching with the inevitability of a runaway train, and he and his legal team (who are not really worthy of the name) have been frantically filing motions to avoid the Marital Aid Of Consequences Arriving Sans Lubrication. They tried to get another delay, because of course - obviously! - the trial cannot possibly take place before the November election, since that would make DJ Tango look guilty. Sorry - more guilty. They tried to get a change of venue, because Pumpkinhead cannot get a fair trial in New York. This is actually quite true, as New Yorkers have had to endure Pimpkinhead's criminal exploits since the Eighties and most of them loathe him with a passion. This got slapped down since the court pointed out most of the drama vomited forth into, unto and onto social media was actually Biffer Bafune Bloaty Boy doing the vomiting. Art!
No. Go look it up.
The Overweight Orange Oaf has now appealed to the Appellate Court about the gag order that restricts him from slandering, defaming, doxxing and generally painting a target on the back of anyone who irks him (currently standing at 83,632,492 people).
And, in a move that may very well backfire horribly on his 'legal' team (yes I am rubbing in the fact of their uselessness), DJT is now suing Judge Juan Merchan, the judge in this hush money case, because of that gag order. This is known in legal circles, or legal circles with lawyers possessing an IQ greater than 90, as a 'fictitious and frivolous' case. Art!
Alina Habba, whose qualifications are that she looks good in a bikini and <thinks> wants to be the next Mrs Trump? She has been hit with a $1,000,000 fine for prosecuting a frivolous case. John Eastman, former counsel for Tangerine Toad, has just been disbarred. Rudy Giuliani, also former legal adviser to DJT, is on the hook for $148 million for defamation. Michael Cohen not only did prison time, he got disbarred, too.
The common thread here is that working for DJT as a lawyer is disastrous for your career, especially when he is driving the process, since he has the legal smarts of a bag of potatoes. Art!
Thanks to Farron Cousins for bringing this idiocy to light. FC takes pains to point out he's not a lawyer, yet he's worked in a law firm for twenty years and knows the law. He explains that these lawyers ought to have resigned on grounds that their client was imperilling their liberty and law licences, which - O Howling Irony! - would have caused a delay as new counsel would have to have been brought in.
I think we'll let Deep Purple have the last word here. Art!
Bearing The Wild With Wildbeare
After the epic exploits of Bruno in the Italian Dolomites, we come firmly back to ground with another outdoors person, who also endures conditions that Conrad would not tolerate for ten seconds. What is it with these people who deliberately choose to put themselves through torment! Art!
This is Claire, a.k.a. 'Wildbeare'
She was going to test out her very expensive Hilleberg Soulo tent, and had chosen a wild, bleak hillside to set up on, and yes she was solo, backed up only by her trusty camera. There was a storm imminent and the weather was already bad. Art!
Conrad feels cold just watching
Here the tent has been put up and the poles are in place to keep it rigid and erect, which still allows the wind to make it seethe and bob like a sentient accordion. Art!
There are 12 of these pegs that are used to keep the tent tight to the ground, and in the upper starboard you can see Wildbeare's static camera, which is hopefully well-secured in view of the 50 m.p.h. wind gusts. Art!
"Getting the guys in"
These are the guy ropes that keep the shell of the tent secured against gale-force winds, of which there are plenty to go around, in case you were wondering. Art!
Tent up and secured, changed into dry clothing, with a dusting of talc on her feet, Claire is now getting into her sleeping bag and then donning a bivi bag over that. Although she didn't expect any rain to leak into the interior, she nevertheless expected condensation, since the Soulo is so well-sealed. Art!
There she is, alive and dry the next morning. Wildbeare's most pertinent comment is that this is a serious tent for seriously bad weather, which made Conrad look it up.
£840.00!
Yeah. I'll be staying at home with a pot of tea, admiring her resolve and not copying in any way whatsoever.
Well, that's enough pictures, time for a wall of text.
"City In The Sky"
The actual mechanics and logistics of reinforcing a Bernal Sphere to withstand de-orbiting are going on aboard Arc One.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO: Sunset
Things were progressing well. The
Americans had agreed to “loan-out” M3 as a shuttle service for as long as The
Doctor needed it. That meant the giant spacecraft could be used to ferry
and collect the several thousand tonnes of construction materials still
orbiting from those incomplete spheres whilst the Doctor explained what needed
to be done to Arc One. As he put it,
using the materials that happened to be floating around was far easier than
dismantling the skeleton of
What remained to be done? A lot!
His other worry came back to
him, that the Lithoi were plotting to carry out another biological warfare
attack and that they’d manage that sooner than the sphere could be de-orbited. In fact they were almost guaranteed to win
the race. So a spanner needed to be inserted into their works.
He called Ace over, from where she’d been studying a
battered laptop (the only type aboard Arc One) scrolling through details of the
sphere’s construction. Other technical staff were sitting around other
laptops, working out what they could manage with the structural steel girders
and plating that M3 was towing their way.
There are still the evilllll alien squatters in the background, mind.
Get Stuffed!
That is my considered response to the BBC's putting up a sidebar on their News webpage, because it's not news. Art!
Conrad has always hated them, ever since the Seventies, and my hatred burns with a bright blue actinic flame even today. No, you cannot reason with me, my implacable wrath is as intransigent as my attitude towards musicals. Art!
NOT A MUSICAL*
Finally -
Your Humble Scribe is most certainly glad that he doesn't have to travel into Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell by bus, firstly because it eats up three hours of the day, secondly because it costs £18 per week, and thirdly because now this geezer is popping up all over the place being interviewed, it would only be a matter of time before Conrad was accosted and punched in the face. Art!
Handy tip: if he's wearing a suit and tie, it's not Conrad.
* Those who disagree will go straight into the organ-banks when I take over.
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