You Ruin A Business With Manglement
I'm going to have to explain this one a bit, aren't I?
Okay, back in the days before electricity was present in every household, people had to hand wash their clothing in a tub. It was unwise to simply hang washed clothes outside, because they'd be absolutely sodden and thus take forever to dry. Besides, it might be raining - a constant threat in This Sceptred Isle. So folks would run the clothing through a mangle. Art!
No, Art. That's a manglewurzel: "A Eurasian variety of beet, cultivated as a cattle food, having a large yellowish root." It's actually derived from the German, 'Mangold' being Teuton for 'Beet' and "Wurzel' for 'Root'. Since it was an interesting tangent no Tazer this time. Try again!
Manglement typically occurs when a new CEO or management structure comes into play, all grimly determined to be of service - wait, no, that's a line from "Forbidden Planet", isn't it? Sorry - all grimly determined to put their own stamp on the company. Typically they do this immediately without waiting to see how things operate.
In this tale of torpidity, OP said that their company was originally great to work for, with a team he got on well with, where, as long as you hit your targets, nobody was especially bothered what you did betimes.
However, the company lost a big contract and income started to dry up. The owner, seeing which way the wind was blowing, sold it, and in comes 'Jack', the new boss. Art!
This jack has a higher IQ than that Jack
He fires OP's manager, meaning all the team except OP instantly quit. The atmosphere turns hostile and totally target-driven and OP's having a miserable time of it. 6 months later one of the new replacements, who can't do her job properly, is promoted over OP, so he hands in his notice. He is told this is a mistake, he's going to lose out on big money, the company has a bright future, you're jumping off the money train, etcetera. Art!
OP not convinced.
A week later, OP gets a call from Jack, who wants him back, saying that they need more staff (reading between the lines, other staff had also resigned). OP 'declines' as he says, which is rather polite. I suspect a few swears were involved.
A week later OP hears from someone who remained behind that everyone was made redundant, the company refused to pay them and closed operations permanently. Hmmm probably looking at a class-action lawsuit there. So much for 'This company is going places!" Yeah, dead right - straight to the bottom.
Right, Conrad is going to take a break here, as Quiet Tom and Darling Daughter are coming up for a visit and we need PIZZA!
Absence Of Evidence
Do you remember the curious case of the dog in the night? It's a quote from Sherlock Holmes and the story "Silver Blaze". To wit:
"Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?
Holmes: To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.
Gregory: The dog did nothing in the night-time.Holmes: That was the curious incident."
Once again, we are going to tiptoe around the fetid unclean waters of POLITICS, so pinch your nose shut.
Okay, so the Tribble-Topped-Beer-Barrel-In-A-Suit (Citizen Trump if we're being polite), loudly declared his intent to run for Prez in 2024. Art!
"Someone had cruelly placed a drawing-pin on Donald's chair"
That was in November. Since then, he's been entirely out of the limelight, which is unheard of when it comes to ranting and tanting and Being The Victim Of Them. No political campaigning, no rallies, no major announcements - I beg your pardon, no serious major announcements. Art!
He is, according to polls, less popular than Prez Biden, and waaaaaaaaay behind Florida Governor Ron De Santis, whom hasn't even declared an intent to run for Prez yet. And 61% of the Wizard Gizzard Lizard party members don't want him to run for Prez. Plus the Jan 6th Committee are going to be recommending the Department of Justice indict him for sedition, insurrection and being only semi-literate*.
I dunno, maybe he's weeping to himself on the golf course, alone, as he cheats his way to the 18th hole.
"The Sea Of Sand"
The small British task force "Murraycol" are setting out for the FSD at Mersa Martuba, entirely unaware of what they're dealing with, whilst the Doctor is arduously making his way to the depot, too.
Which brought to mind mirages of
the latter. There seemed to be an object
out there on the gravel and sandstone that might be real. It swam in his vision like a fish in deep
water, yet the position remained constant.
After several hours the object resolved into a truck, one of a myriad
used by humans in the mid-twentieth century.
Olive-drab paint scheme, outlines broken by disruptive camouflage, it
had to be part of the military effort here in the desert.
The
truck remained just where it sat when he first noticed it, immobile and
unwanted. A desert orphan.
Static,
the Chevrolet provided him with welcome shade, under the tailboard. From that vantage point he looked out across
the gravel and sand, seeing the distant depot, with an array of non-human
vehicles outside on sentry duty.
Canny
in desert survival, he cut the hose leading to the radiator and was rewarded by
a sluice of tepid water tasting of rust and rubber. Still, it was liquid, and he gulped it down,
gagging a little at the taste.
Now feeling more like an
investigator than a coroner and happy about it, the Doctor noseyed around the
truck, discovering an ammunition box containing various tins and packets of
food. No water, unfortunately.
Peering
across the sand from the covered rear of the truck, he noticed several other
immobile vehicles, big open cars armed with machine guns. No occupants.
Yeah, not a water source you'd want to try unless desperate.
More Toys Of Terror
As related by Devin Stone, the vlogger who goes by the moniker "Legal Eagle". The difference between what he tells us and others who have listed dangerous toys is that he finishes with the legal consequences of same. Art!
"Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls"
These creepy little dolls had a mechanical chomping action, which was triggered when an item was inserted into their mouth. They came with a small set of plastic 'food' that was deposited into a backpack after eating, because you don't really want to mimic the human digestive process too closely.
First problem is that they had no "On/Off" switch. They would heartily chomp away as long as there was something - anything - in their mouth. You can probably guess where this is going ...
It could take up to 30 minutes to disassemble one of these dolls in order to remove the batteries and thus stop the chewing action, by which time the unfortunate child involved was bald. Art!
Cannibal Patch Doll
Parents probably smashed them with hammers and burned the remnants.
Mattel, the manufacturers (stricken with manglement?) voluntarily recalled the dolls and refunded £35 to each of 500,000 buyers, for a £17 million total. Conrad bets some senior managers 'Left the company to seek new challenges' after that.
Finally -
Just to refer back to the beginning of the Intro, and in short order as we're well over count, have one mangonel. Conrad is aware that it's a siege-engine but doubts you knew that, too, so - Art!
And with that, Vulnavia, we are both done and hungry. Time for lunch!
* Okay, I made that last charge up. But it's true.
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