It's Impossible - So Let's Do It!

I Did Warn You

No, I don't mean the Apollo Moon landings, which I would posit were merely incredible, not impossible, and if you are one of the intellectual pond-scum who insist it was all a hoax THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY!  You can back-track the development of the lunar missions via the technological DNA of both Mercury and Gemini projects.  Art!

     This terrifying beast is a Titan II Intercontinental Ballistic Missile.  Why is it here?  Because the rocket component was used for the Gemini program, with the manned capsule taking the place of a warhead.  Imagine that - sitting atop an ICBM fuelled with a hundred tons of toxic hypergolics.  Erk.  Art!

Gemini capsule

     ANYWAY as per usual, this has nothing to do with what I really meant to talk about, which was - you were forewarned - the Doolittle Raid.  NO!  Nothing to do with talking to animals.  Go read yesteryon's blog.

     Let us set the scene.  It is early 1942 and South Canada is still reeling under the onslaught of the Nipponese military, with their Pacific fleet in disarray after Pearl Harbour.  How can they hit back?  Because the Nipponese like to project an air of smug invincibility.

     Bomb Tokyo! is the suggestion.  Yes, except it's a verrrry long way to Tokyo from Hawaii.  Art!

Three thousand, eight hundred and seventy-five miles

     Which was the nearest South Canadian air base.

     Enter Lieutenant-Colonel James Doolittle.  This guy could make a grand piano do aerial stunts, and the only way he could be more flyer-y was if he grew feathers.  His answer to the problem was yes, bombers, but -

     - bombers being flown from an aircraft carrier that would sail to within a few hundred miles of Japan before launching them.

     Problem 1)  Launching a medium bomber from a carrier had never been done before.

     Problem 2) Even if it could be done, no bomber was light enough.

     Problem 3)  Even if a bomber could be made light enough, there were no fighters available with the range to provide cover to Japan.  Art!

Personal motto: "Git R Done"

     Ol' Jim personally selected the B-25 'Mitchell' as the bomber to be used, both because it had the potential range and could- theoretically - take off from a carrier deck, with other aircraft being having too large a wingspan or dodgy handling on a carrier.  To make up the range, extra fuel tanks were built in, allowing 4 tons of fuel to be carried and the planes were given permission from China to land there after their bombing had been completed.  Art!

     Yes yes yes, I used this photo yesteryon.  The thing is, all the planning was ultra-top secret and it's vanishingly difficult to get pictures of the Mitchell's after conversion.  Two of them had flown off the flight deck of the carrier 'Hornet', which got the raid a green light, but Doolittle wanted to get as much range out of the bombers as possible and had the lower gun turret removed, to save weight, as well as replacing the rear machine guns with a pair of wooden barrels.  The auxiliary radio was ditched, as was the complex, expensive (and useless) Norden bombsight.  Art!

Note flight deck crew wearing Brodie pattern helmets

     Ol' Jim had the courage of his convictions, because after planning the mission, he led it himself.  Way to go Jim!

     None of the aircraft that made it to China survived, all crash landing, though the crews survived.  One made an emergency landing near Vladivostok, part of the Sinister Union - Art!

     Rather sportingly, the Sinisters allowed the crew to 'escape' into Iran after initially being interned.

     Ol' Jim worried that he'd be court-martialled for losing his entire squadron.  Instead he got one of these - Art!

South Canada's highest award, the Medal Of Honour

     And that, ladies and gentlemen and those unsure, is an examplar par none of Thinking Outside The Room Not Merely The Box.

Cheaty McNeaty

The last anecdote about Henry 'Smokey' Yunick, NASCAR mechanic and rule-bender, whose motto seems to have been 'If it's not illegal then I can do it and I will'.  Art!

     Smokey just happened to notice that NASCAR had no regulations about the temperature petrol could be stored at, so he put cans of fuel in a freezer.  This made the petrol contract in volume and increase in viscosity, which meant that fuel pumps within the car's engine would work better with the denser fuel, and that mileage would also be better once the fuel warmed up again.

     NASCAR did not appreciate this and brought in legislation about temperatures, the spoilsports.

Another One From Lord Peter's Crossword

Ha!  You're out of luck if you're not enjoying these, this is merely the next-to-last of the Across clues and solutions, there's an equivalent number of Downs to come, by which time you'll be feeling down yourself.

     "Friendship carried to excess, got him in a horrid mess"

     No mucking about with a tease this time, the solution is DAMON.

     I know, what on earth?  Is this from the Bible, or Shakespeare?  AHA!  My copy of Brewer's has it that one Pythias was sentenced to death by Dionysus, the tyrant of Syracuse in the 4th century BC.  Ol' P was allowed to go home to sort his affairs out, with his bezzie mate Damon taking his place.  If Ol' P didn't return in time, Damon would get the chop.

     SPOILER Ol' P did get back in time.  Dionysus, rather sportingly, pardoned both of them.  Art?

"The Sea Of Sand"

<I think at least one person has been inspired by these extracts to go on Fanfiction and Favourite the story>

     The British are trying to negotiate an uneasy truce with the few surviving Italians.

The officer blinked in surprise, not expecting such a spirited counter-attack.

          ‘Where are the rest of your men?’ asked Roger, craning to peer around or over his opposite number.

          ‘Dead.  Or rendered unconscious,’ replied the Italian, shortly, his stoney expression rendering translation un-necessary.  His hand hovered over the holster on his belt without actually drawing the weapon held there.  Sarah caught the sudden indecision and pounced verbally again.

          ‘Then you ought to understand what I said – we need to band together.  You have weapons, while we don’t.  We have food and water and petrol.  We fought the killing machines those aliens sent out before, we know how to destroy them and what to avoid.’

          Dominione threw up his hands in despair.

          ‘Very well! Very well, we can have a truce.’  He looked at Roger.  ‘Friends,’ he managed in heavily-accented English.  ‘We need your word if we give you parole,’ he said to Sarah.  ‘No attempts to escape, no attacks on my men.’

          Roger agreed to these terms.  His choice was limited, after all.  The most deadly weapon his collection of refugees could muster was a pen-knife.

          ‘Let’s see what we’re dealing with,’ he muttered.  All three of them walked to the edge of the wadi and Dominione scrambled upwards, narrowly avoiding falling on the friable stones.  Roger caught the officer’s elbow and kept him upright.

     Hom. Sap. united!

Those Waggish Ukrainians

One of the admirable qualities of the Ukes is their retention of a sense of humour under pressure.  Art!

Secret cat is - secret

     For your information, that apparent "CBY" on the jackets is actually Ukranian for "SBU", which is "Slujhba Bezpeki Ukraini" (down in bottom port corner) or the 'Security Service of Ukraine'.  Secret police with a sense of humour.

Finally -

The BBC's news website is reporting an enormous fire at a Ruffian shopping mall.  Art!

     Seemingly at night, so only one fatality.  Typically Ruffian response, looking for arsonists, when, given Ruffian safety standards (or lack of) faulty wiring is just as likely.

     Ukrainian response:  O dear.  ANYWAY -