WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS! I refer, of course - obviously! - to the noble rucksack, which name is of Teuton origin meaning 'Backpack' so now we are better informed than we were five minutes ago. Art!*
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| Yes, it's been Photoshopped |
I know what you're thinking- because Conrad is shrewd and you lot are painfully predictable - and no, that's not a rucksack. Nor is it real. Hmmmm it does remind me about a real TANK, mind you, the Ontos. Art!
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| So many guns! |
ANYWAY having a rucksack as the first picture would automatically mean Facebook loaded that first, and whilst I can spin a fascinating tale about rucksacks, they aren't the most magnificent of images. Check it out - Art!
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| Newbie to port, vet to starboard |
The vet has been around for a good few years. One problem it has is the zips, which need coaxing to shut properly. This can be a tad fraught if one is desperately dashing for the bus. There used to be a bottom compartment, which had the opposite problem - it would gradually unzip itself as the ruck was being carried, thus you lost whatever was stored there. Conrad left a bag of Opal Fruits in there, as emergency anti-hypoglycemia blood-sugar boosters, and forgot about them for two weeks. When Your Absent-minded Scribe remembered and opened it up, the bag had split and shed it's contents, which formed a sticky mess smeared all over the bottom of the compartment, because, wouldn't you know it, the zip hadn't failed. So the bottom bit got scissored off, and it looks perfectly acceptable now. Art!
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| Oldham Bus Station. Note unyielding stone floor. |
The ruck has an inner drawstring that I didn't bother using, until one evening in OBS my works laptop fell out of the ruck, flat onto the solid stony flags of the station floor. An Oops! moment. Fortunately for all concerned it still worked afterwards. Then one afternoon, as I hauled bottom homewards, the single strap I had the ruck held by came out of it's retainer and another Oops! moment. This time, thanks to lots of hard-edged bits also being present, a noticeable dint was added to the laptop. It still worked but it's resale value has depreciated a lot.
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| Manchester Arndale Centre. Note unyielding tiled floors. |
The newbie doesn't need to hold a laptop so it's smaller stature shouldn't be a problem. 'Kings Will Dream' FYI is an upmarket brand; it should have cost £25 but Conrad snapped it up for £10 thanks to a discount offer. For someone who has to deal all day long with items gone astray, having one turn up in record time at Christmas gives one an echo of "It's A Wonderful Life". If Conrad had tear ducts they might get a bit of a workout.
Make It Jake
If you've been following the blog with any consistency, you'll already know that one vlogger I watch faithfully is Jake Broe, ex-English teacher in South Korea and more recently a Nuclear Missile Operations Officer in the South Canadian Air Force. Before covering the war** in Ukraine he used to do financial analysis, which skill he has now brought to bear in an interesting way to show how truly fornicated the Ruffians are. Art!
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| Also visible: the top of Jake's smiley head |
Let me point out that NATO and South Canada combined outspend Russia by SEVENTEEN times. Jake also did a telling breakdown of how much support for Ukraine is costing South Canadian taxpayers. Art!
As Justin Bronk put it, half the Ruffian army has been destroyed without a single South Canadian serviceman suffering more than RSI thanks to working a keyboard about logistical support. The 148,245,000 is how many taxpayers are affected. This total, coincidentally, is nearly the same as the population of Ruffia; I wonder how much each of them are paying?
There's the link to Jake's vlog should you wish to check him out.
On The Theme Of 'Bright Lights'
I confess I've missed a few of these out, because they were boring. Not this one. Art!
Courtesy Angela Haworth. This is from an autumn festival in Montreal, a light and sound show at the Botanical Gardens. Conrad is impressed by whatever this gadget is; presumably it's not spraying out superheated steam or venomous vapours as there's no fencing and a small child is messing around with it. Or - it's far larger than it appears and that's actually a fully-grown adult.
"The Sea Of Sand"
The investigative column of light military vehicles sent from Thirteen Corps HQ to find out what's been going on at Mersa Martuba have run into trouble.
For Murraycol, the end was swift
and frightening. Lieutenant Murray,
riding in his Jeep, began to lead the column forward until a sudden enormous
jolt hit them, accompanied by an incredibly intense blast of heat.
Briefly
the Lieutenant wondered if he’d been hit by a shell, until he realised his arms
and legs were still attached and intact.
An appaling stink struck his nostrils, a compound of acrid chemicals,
burnt metal and burning rubber. The Jeep
engine raced wildly, then stalled.
Murray
stepped out of the Jeep, realising that the whole car had dropped into the –
and then he hopped back into the Jeep, cradling the smoking heel of his boot,
and the tender sole of his foot.
‘We’re
sitting in a load of glass, sir!’ exclaimed the amazed driver. Lieutenant Murray examined the still-hot
crust on the bottom of his boot sole and looked out across the smooth, hot
surface. Leaning over the side of the
Jeep caused him to break out in a sweat caused by the heat radiating off the
surface.
His
car had sunk up to the middle of the axles into the glass. The tyres were smoking and stinking, and the
paint bubbled and flaked from the bodywork.
Looking behind, his heart sank at the sight of every other vehicle in
the column mired in the vast saucer of glass.
The day's not going well for them, is it?
Some People Have Far Too Much Time On Their Hands
Yes, I know how bitterly ironic that is, coming from a chap who spends an hour and a half daily creating words of wit, wisdom, wonder and whimsy. It's not as if you have to pay to read this scrivel, is it?
ANYWAY you should, faithful reader, be aware that Conrad occasionally goes over a Lego sculpture, in awe at the ability of a person to work out the details of a dinosaur or volcano -
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| Courtesy J D Brick Productions |
- or the battleship 'Bismark' in 1/150th scale. The only thing missing is how many pieces there are; I asked on the vlog but haven't had an answer. Art!
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| With puny human arm for scale |
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| Super-duper superstructure |
The tricky bit where superstructure has to be mated with the hull.
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| Success! |
Finally -
We shall call it quits there, as Darling Daughter and Quiet Tom are due to arrive shortly and Conrad needs a good face-scrape to look even slightly presentable.
Pip pip!
* Now back from his holiday
** Go on. sue me, Bloaty Gas Tout!
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