Friend Without A Face

This Happens More Often Than You'd Think

There you are, down the pub, having a pint or ten with your mates, and then one of them accidentally reveals that they aren't Eric from number 97, they're actually a killer android from the future as their human-replica mask falls to the floor, revealing a blank plastic visage that only approximates a human face.  Of course - obviously! - you have to exit premises stage left as fast as possible as the faux-Eric starts blasting the regulars with his built-in ray gun.  Art!

     You have to admit, he's the very opposite of the friendly British bobby (and the police objected to this officially), and he definitely lacks a face.  Now, excuse me as I pop downstairs to stir the Bigos.

     Nor is this the only time that the BBC's premier dramamentary has tackled this subject, they were a bit more explicit a few years previously.  Art!

     I think I've seen the first episode, possibly on a <illegal content redacted> channel.  Nor is this all!  O no.  There's a short story by Harlan Ellison, if my aged grey cells have it correct, about a method actor who immerses himself in his roles to the extent that he ends up murdering a sex-worker whilst 'researching' his role as a murderer.  He is, inevitably, stuck in a prison cell, where his terrible secret is revealed: he has no face.  And by this time he's still not quite friendless, because otherwise who would have turned up at his cell?

     Conrad realises that probably fell a bit flat.  Well, I only had a few dozen words to work with, and Ol' Harry had thousands.

     I have the feeling that this subject has legs and we may come back to it, because OF COURSE none of that is what the Intro is about.  I'm sorry, you were expecting common-sense and a firm grounding in reality?  Sorry wrong planet wrong solar system wrong galaxy.  Art!

     I post this because Degsy was listening to the 'Monster Attack!" podcast and Jim, the host, focussed on this film.  Conrad has seen it a couple of times and it's an extremely effective sci-fi horror film, made on a shoestring budget here in the UK, pretending to be Canada.  Note that the star is one Marshall Thompson, a South Canadian character actor whom you may also recognise as the lead in 'Daktari', which Conrad watched as a smaller version of himself. Art!

     Jim explained that the supposed director of "Fiend Without A Face", one Arthur Crabtree, felt that sci-fi films were beneath him (still took the mighty £££ though) and would regularly walk off the set, to go sink pink gins in his office*.  Ah.  Yes.  James Garner encountered similar in one episode of "The Rockford Files" when the director simply didn't turn up, so he directed that episode.  Marshall therefore took up the directorial reins himself, for much of the film.  Art!

"Just think - as we look out, Conrad looks in."

     Marshall seems to have been an early ascriber to that Hollywood rarity, Being A Nice Guy.  He was a genuinely pleasant chap not comfortable with fame, which both kept him humble and ensured he got lots of work in film and television.  Thus being the <ahem> Friend without a face**.  Excuse me, gotta go stir the Bigos, 

    Ah yes, the Purple Polish Provender has turned out fine again.  Mushrooms and jalapenos probably stretching the recipe a tad.  But who's counting?

A Chilly Moment

For Lo! are we not back at the BBC's 'Weather Watcher' pages on the best possible photographs on the theme of 'Winter'?  Yes we are, it was a rhetorical question you bafunes.  Art!

Courtesy Fred

     This is from Roe Green Park in that modern Babylon, London.  No details on what date but Your Humble Scribe would suspect December or January, given the amount of frost present.  We here in the bitter Northern climes don't get frost like this any longer, so presumably the Southern jessies will have had warmer weather earlier <insert tired old joke about 'hoar' frost here>.

Siccar IO

Cool your jest jets, this isn't anything to do with Emily Blunt and gunfights with Mexican cartel operatives, instead we are talking about GEOLOGY.

     Yeah right.  Not the most exciting of subjects - HEY

Art you are in so much trouble

     Where were we? O yes geology.  You see, there is a location in Scotland known as Siccar Point, and if Art can stop quivering after his Atomic Tazer lesson -

     Say hello to the origins of modern geology.  This is Siccar Point, where the splendidly clever chap James Hutton realised that the world was not 4,000 years old, but immeasurably older, going back millions of years, thanks to the layers visibly present in the rocks above.  And all this in 1788.  It has taken the Bible literalists and Flat Earthers a while to come round, but we confidently expect them to be on board by 2079.  O yes the "IO"?  'Important Opinion'.  And if you're not impressed by that then you are at liberty to come up with your own anagram.

CAUTION! cold in winter

And Now The Terror Begins

I apologise if the last couple of "Tormentor" extracts have dealt more with the admin chores of further education rather than soul-scarifyng supernatural shock.  What can I say***?  Anyway, Luma has left an assessment session between his boss the Bursar and pretty young newcomer Laura -

‘Not at all!  I have to verify Louis’s paperwork, to make sure he’s completed it correctly.  As he scrutinises you, so I scrutinise him.’

               Louis remained for a brief, informal chat about Laura’s performance in class.  Nothing less than Competent, several Goods, one or two Excellents.  For the next part of the review he didn’t need to be present and bade them goodbye, leaving Rowell to go over the report forms.

                When the pair finally finished, an hour later, Laura didn’t immediately leave, even if she did express gratitude at the painless and amicable way the Vice Principal managed the review.

               ‘I don’t know if you can answer this, but Louis was really distracted in the last review he did.  I remarked about it and he almost jumped out of his chair.  “An unpleasant experience” is what he said.  I know it’s fishing for information but it worried me.  Is he alright?’

               The VP raised his eyebrows in surprise.  Louis rattled?  You could tell Laura was a recent appointee, none of the regular staff would bother to bother about Louis McMahon and his behaviour.  Even if it had been slightly more odd than usual, judging from what rumours reached his ears.

               ‘That depends on dates, I suppose.  Two years ago Louis was in a fatal accident on the M60.  A large truck jack-knifed and crushed his car.  His wife and daughter were killed instantly and he suffered brain damage that put him in a coma for six weeks, and from which he didn’t fully recover for another four months.’

     There you go, I knew I'd worked this information in.  Not sure if they mention here that he has a metal plate in his head, a medical artefact simply built to pick up spirit messages.

Finally -

A little-known fact about FWAF - at one point they highlight a supposed textbook, which has the title "SIBONETICS" when it should, of course - obviously! - read "CYBERNETICS".  Unless the field of 'Sibo-' is yet to come.

*  Filmed in the UK: no trailers or dressing rooms available.  Sorry darlings.

**  "Face" - conceit, arrogance, general all-round cockiness.

***  A lot that we won't go into