I Was Looking For Artistic Inspiration
And the Muse, that treacherous jade, deserted me. That's what happens if you go following a sudden and whimsical train of thought, you get led astray. I was trying to think of horror films where one of the characters gets killed mostly through their own stupidity, you know, a la Darwin Award Winners, and simply couldn't come up with anything. Teh Interwebz were pretty poor help, too. If only one could conjure up an idea that pops up like yesteryon's, which was typified by an hilarious jack-in-the-box. Art!
No, it's not trying to climb out. That's a silly idea. Preposterous. Er - don't turn your back on it, mind.
One thought does spring to mind, in "The Sarah Connor Chronicles", which is television rather than film. Sue me if you wanted film. As I remember it, a Terminator dubbing itself 'Cromartie" gets disintegrated in the present day after travelling backward in time from it's future. Art!
Cromartie NAKED!
After putting himself back together, Ol' Crom decides he really, really misses being a skin-job*, especially since that allowed him to blend in, although you can always tell a Terminator if you make a joke and they don't laugh**. ANYWAY he locates a scientist who is quite happy to help create a set of new flesh clothing - Art!
Gloves. For safety. Whilst you share rooms with an unstoppable killing machine. Gotta get them priorities right!
Ol' Crom gets to sit in a bath full of regeneration chemicals that Doctor Fleming just happened to have lying around, mixed in according to a formula that our metal friend knew about.
Then, the good doctor sits around and waits and waits, because you can't tell me that putting on pounds and pounds of synthetic flesh is a lickety-spit quick process. I bet it took hours. Perhaps he did crosswords? Conrad would have done. So, you have a hostile android from the future simmering in your bathtub, which has demonstrated it's willingness to beat the snot out of you - and yet you sit complacently around wondering what 12 Across is? "The ad is final (5)".
Things do not end well for Doctor Fleming. Not at all.
When the FBI arrive, they find the lifeless carcass of the Doctor - NO! not that Doctor, this Doctor - minus his eyeballs, and lots of blood. One of the agents looks around and says "There's been a 12 Across here***." Yes indeed. Doctor Fleming, intelligent yet not clever at all.
There you go, all worked up from a barely remembered scene from years ago. Motley! Get in the bath and let's see if we can add synthetic flesh to your hideous inhuman physique!
Feet first
Cobi Kits
Another subculture Your Humble Scribe had never met before, until he heard the name mentioned by Dave of Bovvie (okay, okay, Curator David Willey of Bovington Tank Museum). Dave had been describing who visits the museum for commercial purposes, in that they take measurements in order to create accurately-scaled kits. Then he mentioned "Cobi", and I had to guess at the spelling. Art!
These kits are made in - waitforitwaitforit - Poland! They are 1/48 scale, so intermediate between the great big stonking things in 1/36 and the much handier 1/72, which would be very tricky to model with bricks, as they'd have to be tiny. That one above contains 300 pieces, so all in all a LOT more than a 1/48 plastic model kit (about 120 pieces by contrast). The Cobi kit will set you back from £20, whereas a Tamiya 1/48 Sherman begins at about £25. Valuable consumer information. Art!
NO!
That is a British Cromwell IN DESERT CAMOUFLAGE, which I am sure we are all shocked at. Shocked! Not only that, they are using EIGHTH ARMY RECOGNITION PANELS! Gasp! Gurgle! that were long out of use by the time it was around. The Cromwell didn't see service until it came ashore in Normandy in 1944, and it had a dark green paint scheme.
<short pause for the blood pressure to lower>
More Art And Architecture
Having seen off the last of that alien invasion series, Conrad would like to introduce you to Chesley Bonestell, which sounds like a dietary supplement you would feed to dogs. Not so, he was an accomplished artist who frequently turned his hand to astronomical or science fiction subjects. Let us present what is probably his most famous image of all. Art!
"Saturn as seen from Titan"
This one was done in 1944, decades before any robot probes had got out as far as Saturn, indeed before rockets had flown beyond Earth's atmosphere (apart from the V2 and we'll cheat and say that doesn't count. My blog, my rules). Ol' Ches knew his astronomy and ensured the angles and sizes here are accurate and correct. His vision of the Moon was rather less accurate, as he imagined it to be extremely rugged and angular, when we now know that erosion from space bombardment by meteorites has smoothed everything down. Art!
"Launching nuclear missiles from the Moon"
This one is from 1948. Ah me, the Forties, when nukes were thrown around with gay abandon! Anyway, note the very rough landscape here. You can't really fault the bloke, he was 21 years ahead of the times.
Squeezing All The Humour Out
You know Conrad, never able to leave a subject or topic until it has been rendered unto a hollow husk. The same applies to images. Art!
OR
"Arrest HER, officer - she bit two of my fingers off!"
OR
"No, you idiot, that's not how you use the Micro-megaphone!"
OR
"Two aliens made of silicone dioxide have snuck up on us ..."
Finally -
Remember, people, when the mid-term elections roll around in South Canada, we want President Bierce!
* "Blade Runner" in-joke for you there.
** On this evidence, all Ruffians are Terminators.
*** Okay, they didn't. But - it flows well, doesn't it?
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