No, Not In The Sense Of An M.C.
In the sense of 'a lot'. By which I mean photographs, because there have been some visual opportunities of late that Conrad took advantage of. And now, a click-baity picture, because I'm horrid that way. Art!
First of all, however, we are going to detour via "Field Of Fire" by Jack Swaab, which I've just finished reading. Not for everyone, because one reader on Goodreads found it repetitive and boring and gave up after 50 pages. True, it's not all 'blazing combat action' or 'my wartime hell', and Jack spends a lot of time making value judgements on other members of his regiment, besides grumbling at the lack of promotion opportunities, interspersed with outbursts of action. This is typical of wartime, in fact; long periods of boredom interrupted by short bouts of sheer terror. Art!
I've already mentioned Jack's incessant letter-writing, from an era before mobile phones and the internet. He writes dozens and dozens to his paramour "P" from North Africa and Sicily during 1942 and 1943. When he returns to the diary in 1944, about to embark on D-Day, she is never mentioned again. Clearly something happened - or didn't happen - but, being a gentleman, he never explains. Art!
Conrad very carefully took this picture last night, because - er - actually I forget why. Maybe it had to do with Jack and artillery? It's from "A Bridge Too Far" and it looks like genuine artillery explosions because that's exactly what they are. So, it's set during September 1944, which is roughly when the "VT" (for "Variable Timing") proximity fuse started being used by the Allies on the battlefield. Prior to this it was deemed too risky, as the crafty Teuton might recover undetonated shells and reverse engineer the fuse. Jack mentions this in his diary, but also with the caveat that it would take at least a year to make any such copy.
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| Complicated, you see |
The reason these things were used on the battlefield was because they would explode consistently at a pre-determined height, rather than the gunners having to set a time fuse, or have it dig into the ground before detonating. The unfortunate Teutons discovered just how effective this was when the South Canadians began doing it, followed by Perfidious Albion when the factories in South Canada began cranking them out by the tens of thousands.
The Joys Of Noise
Art!
Forgive me if I venture too closely into "What I had for lunch today" territory, for Lo! Conrad is known to be a bit of a music bore. The thing is, my laptop's speakers are pretty tinny; the external speakers will make next door's small child cry, and my earphones are pretty ropey after having been stood upon.
So, headphones are the answer. Except I thought they were broken, and had merely been too lazy to bin them. Aha, it turns out they need AAA batteries to function, and the ones already inserted had died a blotchy death many years ago. Replaced, the headphones work BRILLIANTLY. Except for the fact that I am then totally unaware of the outside world. This may put me at risk when the Zombie Apocalypse occurs*.
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| "NOW! while he's listening to The Mars Volta" |
Despite What You May Read, Sharks Are STILL Our Friends
Conrad continues to plough his lonely furrow in defence of the shark, fear of whom appears universal in Hom. Sap., yes even in Switzerland and the Czech Republic**.
Okay, let us bring on another photograph. Art!
There you go, your daily dose of bioluminescence (another word you never expected to see today). This photo comes from the staid and respectable BBC News website, so it is couched in moderate and reasonable language. One shudders to think what "The Sun" or "National Enquirer" would put up as a photographic by-line. Art!
Or the "Sunday Sport" <shudders in awe and horror>.
Speaking Of Being Silly With The Language ...
As every fule no, Conrad is always sizing up the beer aisles when he goes to do the weekly shop, not because of an incipient desire for alcohol (we will assume that as a given) but to see, instead, if he can use any of the branded bottles or cans as a visual pun. There was that bottle of beer from a couple of weeks ago -
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| Not bad, actually |
Yeah, baby, yeah! Conrad suggests you give the song a listen, though he himself hasn't heard it in 45 years. Paul Gambaccini jokingly described it's success as being young people more interested in shipwrecks than surfing.
Flashing
First of all, WASH OUT YOUR DIRTY MINDS! because I know what you're like. Done it? Good. Remember, BOOJUM! is SFW, if a little incoherent at times.
ANYWAY when the weather starts to get warmer, the days get longer, and the ceaseless torrent from the heavens pauses for a couple of days at a time, Wonder Wifey allows her green fingers scope in the back yard. Thus we have acquired a set of garden lights. Art!
I know, I know, too much "What I had for lunch today". Note the cool interleaved pattern they make. That's without flash. Next, with. Art!
Before you start clucking like a plucked chicken, pause for a moment about just how easy it was to put up a photograph taken with a flash. Back in the days when cameras used film you would need a special one-off flash bulb, and you'd need to take the film to be developed, unless you had your own dark room. Then you'd have to wait a couple of decades so the internet could be invented.
Finally -
Tomorrow I shall be working <shakes fist at work> which means you only get one new post, so weep your tears now, gentle readers. Conrad wonders what his response would be if work were to say "You can have a guaranteed job forever, but it means working EVERY Saturday, doing nothing but adding interview times (a mind-drainingly dull occupation)". I might feel obliged to take it, since this World Domination gig is rather pricey.
And with that, Vulnavia, we are done!
* They may be upon The Mansion before we can fill the Lava Moat.
** Slovakia an unknown quantity here
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