The Rockers From Oz
Not the description of how electric current behaves itself. Electricity being Modern Magic, really. Go on, explain how the cavity magnetron works, in detail, WITHOUT Googling for it. You can't, can you? CONRAD WINS AGAIN.
Okay, let us now abruptly change track and divert to one of those photos that Conrad was banging on about yesteryon. Art!
No, I have no idea either. Why a ferret or an owl must be down to a really devious marketing strategy that appeals to Athenians and Oldhamers. Or something. What I would like to direct your attention to is the name for this beer: "Dirty Deeds", because what was AC/DC's third album way back in the Seventies? Art!
I think I even heard it being played by Fluff on a Saturday afternoon once, because Conrad is not a fan of the band, possesses none of their material and does not seek them out. However, it's a memorable album cover and one that stuck in my mind.
Here an aside. The band were always more into alcohol than more exotic drugs, and Conrad seems to recall that Bon Scott, the original vocalist, had a tradition that, when they started to record a new album, he would order in 250,000 cigarettes. Presumably to make cigarette bonfires so that he could inhale the fumes*?
ANYWAY the beer is definitely not cheap, as it retails at £1.85 per can, and as you can see (cat food bowl for scale) it's not a very large can, either. I will let you know what it tastes like when consumed, don't you worry.
Motley! Grab these terminals, one in each hand. I'm going to run AC through one and DC through the other, and lucky you gets to explain how they feel.
Yes, very probably like this.
I Finally Got A Decent Picture Of Sergei!
For those late to the party, Your Humble Scribe mentioned a while ago <code for 'I can't remember when and can't be bothered to look' - the hideous truth courtesy Mister Hand!> that Sergei Sputnikoff, who runs the Youtube channel 'Ushanka Show', had a very strong resemblance to the computer game character Duke Nukem. Of course - obviously! - when making that assertion I could not find any relevant pictures of Sergei. Then, a couple of days ago I finally got one, hooray!
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| Duke Nukem |
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| Sergei |
Of course, if I now look for pictures of Sergei on teh interwebz, they fall over themselves in looking to come to my attention. Art!
See? It's not just me, other people have made the connection as well. Er - at this point Conrad has to admit he has NO idea who or what Duke Nukem is or was, apart from a computer game. First Person Shooter? Role Playing Game? Real Time Strategy? Take your pick. Art!
Sergei's first bewildered steps in South Canada
His channel is both entertaining and educational, go check it out. Conrad especially enjoyed his low-key destruction of a Western marxist who bewailed the passing of the Soviet Union and how wonderful it was and how badly-off the surviving citizens were now that it was gone; "Hey I survived" replied Sergei, modestly pointing out that he lived there when these events happened.
Super Slavic Sergei
Closure In Moscow
No, nothing to do with Sergei - he's from Ukraine, not Russia, the two are as different as chalk and calcium carbonate. This is actually the name of a band, who came up on a strange Youtube channel that seemed to think Your Humble Scribe needed a musical recommendation. "5 Bands Similar To The Mars Volta" was the title of it and these were Number Two on the list. Art!
"Pink Lemonade"
Of course Conrad can no longer drink lemonade thanks to diabetes <spits> so this merely reminds me of that fact I HATES YOU CLOSURE IN MOSCOW I HATES YOU FOREVER**.
And yes, that was a sneaky "Lord Of The Rings" reference there.
Ah, The Ballfoot Game
Once again, Your Humble Scribe has to state that he has precious little idea of what happens on the football pitch - twenty-two grown men kick an inflated pigs-bladder around for ninety minutes - yet there are people out there who believe - excuse me - Believe - with levels of religious fervour about their particular ballfoot team.
One thing I have learned. You absolutely CANNOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER INCLUDING IMMINENT DESTRUCTION OF PLANET EARTH AND THE DESTRUCTION OF HOMO SAPIENS change the team you support. Just an absolute "No" on that one.
"How is this relevant, O Aged Snowy-Haired Scribe?" I hear you ask. Also "Baywatch Nights" is on soon, so get on with it."
Liverpool the city
Stop me if I get too technical. Okay, Liverpool won the - er - <thinks> - 'Premium Leaguer' last year, which meant they were Top Dog at the end of the 'season' (sorry for this technical jargon) at the Number One position. This year they are currently languishing at Number Seven, too far behind the leaders to ever catch up. This, of course, has meant an avalanche of abuse on the BBC's Have Your Say commentary site, because apparently the Liverpool fans were boastful and arrogant last year as supporting the 'Premium Lager' winning team. Here is a typical post. Art!
Who knew that 'smug' had a significant calorie and roughage content! Conrad will probably wait to explain why this team was called "LiVARpool" by non-fans endlessly, because your brains can only take in so much complicated technical information.
Finally -
Conrad has finally finished annotating "Field Guns In France", which took an awful lot longer than imagined, with 43 single sides of A4 covered in Conrad's trademark spiderscrawl. And at no point are the terms "Rake" or "Reach" mentioned, which is why I began it. There was a query on The Great War Forum, you see, and - well, the deed is done. It ends on a sad anti-climax, where the letter-writer is essentially invalided home thanks to his repeated exposure to gas. One has to also note his utter unscrupulousness (as a senior officer, to boot!) in stealing supplies to better the circumstance of both his men and horses.
Such as Army-issue rum
("Service Rum Diluted" or "Seldom Reaches Destination")
* CAUTION! Do not try at home. Unless you want lungs like kippers.
** "Forever" may be interpreted poetically. Or not. It depends how I feel. Plus, I hate and detest poetry.
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