It's A Dog's Life

Which Is, When You Pause To Parse -

A tad ambiguous.  Generally it's perceived as meaning to be treated in an exceedingly bad manner, as in a much-abused dog, in which case Hello RSPCA?  Then again, it can also mean: we are talking about the risk to existence of a particular domesticated wolf!  See what I mean?  Ambiguous.

     Now, let us abruptly change tack and refer back to that classic documentary series "The World At War", because Your Humble Scribe was rewatching one of the Extras.  Art!

    This is an aside: RAF Bristol Blenheim (I think) torpedo and iron bombers attacking a Teuton shipping convoy.  You can see how insanely low they fly, because the splash in the first one from it's dropped torpedo is higher than the plane!

     Er - which schoolboy excitement is actually the complete opposite of this Intro's theme, which was generally how the "Warriors" Extra truly showed the squalor and horror of the battlefield in no uncertain terms, and would be a splendid corrective to those chickenhawk politicians who bang the lectern and promise war, and whom then go hide in a bunker one hundred metres underground*.

The same as above?

     It was an illustration of how thoroughly horrid Hom. Sap. can be to each other (and if you think that's bad, wait until aliens).  So, I am quite delighted to be able to post a picture that balances the moral scales a little.  Art!

     Well there you go, a touching tale indeed.  Conrad wonders what happened to the thieves?  Were they the ones in West Virginia?  Did they simply sell the dog on to owners desperate for dog?

    Aha.  It turns out the dog, along with the owner's wallet, and anything else portable, was stolen by a 'family friend', who was arrested a couple of months later, with Zeus in tow.

     Well, I think that encompasses about enough highs and lows for one Intro.  Motley, have some ice cream**.

Dogpiling On

Ha!  Do you see - O you do.  Conrad now has an excuse to put up a photograph he took from that never-ending source of schadenfreude, the BBC Sports pages "Have Your Say" comments section. Art!

     As you can see from the date, 13th February, I've been waiting for an excuse to use this one for a few weeks now.  The Comments total is a bit hard to read on here, so I shall clarify and put up "3137".  This is, pretty obviously, an enormous number and when Conrad scrolled through it nearly all the commentators were - well, gloating, frankly.  They trolled and mocked and insulted the Liverpool team and especially their fans, who (I am taking this on trust) were extremely arrogant when they won the Rice Pudding Cup***.   As ye sow, and various other Biblical shizzle.

     

     There were also allegations that the only reason they won the Rice Pudding Cup was because a ballfoot player called "Salah" continually 'dived' in order to get penalties.  'Diving', if you are unfamiliar with this technical term, means pretending to be fouled by throwing yourself to the ground, howling in agony, clutching desperately at your shin recovering from this near-mortal blow within seconds.  If this is true then Salah could have a career on the stage once his ballfoot days are over.  Then there's VAR - "Video Assisted Referee" - which is enough technobabble for one day.


What On Earth, Or Even Off It

As you know, Your Humble Scribe occasionally ends up in strange corners of the internet, usually because he Googles a picture and generates a lot of strange images that link to stranger sites (and sights).  Thus it is that I came across these paintings.  Art!

     Beyond that there's been an alien invasion, it's unclear what's going on here.  As the page titled itself, this is an alien invasion that has seemingly gone badly wrong.  Who has won or lost remains to be seen.  The artist is one Simon Stalenhag.  There are 10 pictures in total and I'll put the others up in no particular date order.  Weirdness ahoy!

     Excuse me, I need to go dump some rubbish and render the Sekrit Layr more like a room and less like a midden.  Back in five -

Guess Where?

Of course it's a trick question!  When have either BOOJUM! or Conrad ever been straightforward when there was an opportunity to be devious?  Art!

     Of course, given recent events on Mars, and Conrad's interest in astronomy, you could be forgiven for immediately responding with "Mars!  Viewed via the Perseverance rover!" which is understandable and completely WRONG.

     For one thing, if you were standing at the spot shown on screen, you could breathe freely, instead of immediately asphyxiating.  You would feel incredibly hot, rather than instantly freezing to death in temperatures so low they would make even Siberians shudder.
     It's not Mars.  It's the Western Desert, pictured in 1973, near a railway halt called "El Alamein", which is where three crucial battles were waged in 1942.

     However - I have mentioned this before - one of the desert's old hands, Ralph Bagnold, who helped found the Long Range Desert Group and whom was immensely experienced in desert exploration, was invited to lecture to N.A.S.A. about desert terrain and travel, as a background to what they could expect on Mars.

Ralph, looking fearfully hard.  No water for shaving, you see

     So you're still wrong, just a bit less wrong than you were before.

Finally -

Conrad wanted to end on a note of typical human stupidity, and came across some Darwin Award entries he'd not read before.  So - there is apparently a subculture across the pond in South Canada where people (usually men) meet up to carry out highly illegal races on the streets, in their own heavily modified vehicles; not un-naturally this sport is known as "Street Racing" and I believe it's how the now-ridiculous "Fast And Furious" franchise began.

     Thus we have Kyle and Anonymous Driver, belting down the road at 150 miles per hour in AD's <ahem> street machine.  "Why are oncoming drivers flashing us?" they wonder.

     "Because you're on fire" is the answer.

Before

     The vehicle begins to fill with smoke.  AD announces that - their brakes have gone.  The emergency brake won't work.  The engine has switched itself off.  They are still travelling downhill.  This pleasant joyride continues for three minutes until they reach level ground and the car rolls to a stop, whereupon they both leap out.

  Art!

During

    Neither were harmed, and there is a Youtube video covering the whole thing over 12 minutes, from where the shot above comes.  AD did not have a fire extinguisher <why bother?> and the whole car was reduced to an ashy shell.  Art!

      No word of whether they got into legal trouble for any of this.  O well, having £45,000 of car reduced to scrap worth £4.83 is probably punishment enough.

     And with that, Vulnavia, we are done!

*  Naming no names.

**  Stinging nettle and turnip flavour

***  Or something.  I'm not a ballfoot fan and don't pretend to know or care about these things.