Conrad's Habzo Gyulolet!

Or, "Conrad Is Very Angry Indeed" In Hungarian

Because why not?  The Hungarian, I mean, not me being angry.  As you should know by now, angry is my default state.  Essentially (because I hate using that most over-used of words 'basically') Conrad has two emotional states: Angry or Frothing Nitric Ire.  

     Firstly, let us change the subject so the red mist recedes a little and Your Humble Scribe can type without hitting the keyboard so hard the floorboards rattle.  Art!

The infamous brass bra strikes again!

     Conrad is unsure what date this is, probably the Forties.  You can see all the usual tropes being expressed here: a nice big porthole so you can see this is set on a spaceship, even if such an enormous and dangerously fragile design feature would never occur in real life (did the Apollo capsules have great big picture windows no they did not!).  Heroic male gallantly imperilling himself in the face of certain (or near-certain) death, also sensibly covering himself in flame-proof clothing. Scantily-clad attractive young woman cowering in the background, instead of being useful and looking for a fire extinguisher.  Mind you, she may have more smarts than is apparent, since she is sensibly shielding self from the flames by having the man between her and the heat.  Plus, imagine how uncomfortable a brass bra would be if in close proximity to a heat source.

"In the future, medical litigation was shortened dramatically.  By guns."

     There you go, the red mists have receded into a mild pink.  Motley!  Bring forth the anvil and my Hate Hammer!

"Armoured Guardsmen" By Robert Boscawen

Interestingly enough, and once again going to the back of this book, young Bob and a bunch of other Guardsmen were given a presentation on the "VT" proximity fuse (as was gunnery officer Jack Swaab in his memoir).  To quote young Bob: "It produced a frighteningly even pattern of airbursts a few feet above the ground and would be a most unpleasant thing to be under."  As this is late January 1945 the hapless Teutons would be 'under it' later in February when the enormous "Operation Veritable went ahead.  What the VT fuse did was take away any guesswork about timing for the shell's fuse, where it would have to be set, the explosion seen and reported back for adjustment.

Designed to make Teutons sad

    I was going to put a long blurb in here from Nigel's page on artillery, however, the sheer excitement might be too much for you.  Perhaps tomorrow.  And don't worry, we shall wring yet more out of young Bob's diary, O yes indeed.

Explosions!

Continuing with this incendiary and percussive theme, Conrad noticed a Youtube presentation by that interesting chap Tom Scott, about why explosions in real life look nothing like explosions as seen on film.  Art!

     That's Tom, flinching as he sets off two and a quarter pounds* of Semtex, which explosion you can see in the background, if only just.  No great pillar of fire, I think you'll admit.  So, how do they do these things in Hollywood, then?  O I thought you'd never ask!

     First you need some steel containers, with angled sides, so they channel the explosion outwards.  Those are foam blocks taped to the bottom, in order that the kinetic energy of the blast does not create explosive spalling and send bits of metal shrapnel whanging all about the place.

     Here the pyrotechnics expert (this is definitely NOT Tom!) is putting bags of a liquid fuel slurryat the base of each bucket, which will be set off by that white wiring, which is actually detonating cord.  Fast stuff, it burns at the rate of four miles per second.  There is a small circle of it under the bags, to act as the trigger.

     Here is the set up, completed.  The det cord will be strung out a long way off, so the infernal apparatus can be triggered without risk to anyone.  And - three - two - one - GO!

          Here you have the enormous roiling explosion that comes from setting off a 'flamepot', as they are known in the business.  Very dramatic, looks great on film, totally unrealistic**.

Don't Be A Blanker, Visit "Ushanka"!

That is, Comrade Mister Sputnikoff's Youtube channel "Ushanka Show", which showcases his life in the Sinister Union for about 20 years.  He has a very droll sense of humour; very Slavic.  You can't call him Russian because he was from Ukraine, a mistake everyone bar Russians and Ukranians makes, one suspects.  Art!

     Here "pathetic Soviet romanticizer" means "provides accurate and impartial facts" and "pseudo commie" means "happily living in South Canada and has been since the Nineties".  Comrad Gaspodin Sputnikoff went to South Canada in the early Nineties to work in a youth camp, liked it so much he came back and, as above, settled there.  He has a book out, "American Diaries", which you need to buy (because Youtube demonetised his channel) none of which sounds very Communist to me.

     We shall come back to Comra Mister Sputnikoff at a later date as he has a bit to say about the K.G.B. or as they say in Russian "Kay Geh Beh".

     Ooops, I nearly forgot how angry I was and why!  Let us continue -

Why Conrad Is Angry

Because I am now merely Angry, instead of Very Very Angry, the keys aren't going to be hit so hard they never return to position.  You can probably guess that Your Humble Scribe's irked state is because of LITHIUM WAFER BATTER -no, that's wrong.  Because of Codeword.  It's been a while so you're going to have to bear with me on this - SIT BACK DOWN! - item since the compilers were going beyond the bounds of what is fair.

"COGENCY":  What?  What!  How many times do you hear this in spoken conversations, or even read it?  My Collins Concise defines it as "having the quality of being a compelling belief or assent", and of course it comes from Latin <hack spit>.

     Of course I got it, because - Conrad***.  How unfair for the less word-worthy out there, though.

     Ah - I see we're at count.  So I shall carefully put away my seething rage until later on.  Have a nice day now!

*  None of that metric nonsense here!

**  See "A Bridge Too Far" for realism.

*** Pedant, hairs-plitter, crossword expert.