That's Another Fine Messi You've Gotten Me Into

If You Don't Recognise That Catchphrase -

THEN THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY! <sighs heavily more in sorrow than in anger>.  And don't even think of thinking about typographical errors, for my laser kill-sat is primed and waiting.  I refer, of course - obviously! - to those titans of comedy, Laurel and Hardy.  Originally they were in silent films, but when sound arrived their voices matched their personae so perfectly that they became even more successful.  Stan Laurel hailed from This Sceptred Isle, Ulverston Lancashire in fact, and dreamed up a lot of the gags and stunts that appeared in their films.  Art?

" - or the monsters will hear you ... "

     Ollie would invariably blame Stan for whatever mischief they had fallen into, with the line "That's another fine mess you've gotten me into", most especially if it was Ollie's fault.

     Okay, great!  Now we're all up to speed, can I commence with my Intro?  I can?  Sooooo kind of you*.

     As you know, Conrad likes to read the Have Your Say comments on the BBC's website, most especially if they concern the ballfoot game, because you're not allowed to swear.  This forces people to be creative with their invective, rather than simply trotting out a lot of swears.  I noticed last night that they have rejigged - no, don't worry, nothing to do with the puzzle's progress at least not yet - the site's format.  Art?

     These comments are on someone called "Messi", who is a ballfoot player at Barcelona - sorry to get so technical - and whom allegedly sent his bosses a fax saying he wanted to leave.  

How to scare cats the Messi way!

Cue an article on the BBC's sports website about where he might go to in terms of clubs, clearly rather tongue-in-cheek as it included some clubs in the Ikea Kitchen Sink League**.  Cue, predictably, howls of outrage from commenters about how this was the lowest possible level for a journalist to sink to, so much so that Your Humble Scribe felt if these people knew where he lived, they'd be on their way there with pitchforks and burning torches.  The other fifty per cent of commenters reckoned it was a cynical ploy to squeeze more money out of the club, because who can make ends meet on a modest £480,000 per week?

     The latter seem to have been correct, because we now have an article on the Beeb's sport website that say Messi's perfectly happy to stay where he is, ta very much ( "  - and thanks for the extra £70,000 per week" seems to be implied).

Messi's earnings per hour

     And, as my screenshot shows, the format of HYS has now changed.  Previously you could not respond directly to a comment, you had to include the post number to indicate to whom you were replying.

     Wow, a BOOJUM! item that touches on the ballfoot game!  Just wait till later, mater.

"Lovecraft Country"

Conrad has just finished watching the first episode of this new HBO series, which is adapted from the novel by Matt Ruff, and has to say it's great stuff.  I had planned to watch the second episode whilst typing this but have only gotten 16 minutes in as it's too interesting to watch and create words of wit, wisdom and wonder.  Not only that, I recognised the horror authors that Uncle George quotes - Clark Ashton Smith, Algernon Blackwood and William Hope Hodgson.  I've read the first and third of these, brag brag.  Art?

     Conrad is unaware how popular either of these authors are nowadays, their heyday having been back in the Thirties for CAS and over a hundred years ago for WHH.  So I consider having read these an achievement.

     Hey, an achievement in itself!  "Wordcounter" attributes my scrivel as being at "College Student" level, and that's without either trying or salting the text with random obscure words.

That "G" Word

This predicament perplexed me all Thursday evening.  As you should surely know by now, Conrad's brain throws up all sorts of unlikely past events, people and things, without prompting or reason.  Still, they are normally real.  Normally.

     However, and  a "however" in letters five feet tall, on Wednesday I came up with a word beginning with "G", and bethought "Is that a real word?  I shall have to check and see," without writing it down.

     BIG MISTAKE.   

     All I could remember on Thursday was that it was fairly long and began with the letter "G".

     "Giaconda"?

Nope.

     "Glaucoma"?

Glaucoma is gross.  Have a dancing weasel instead

     And, to allow you to experience the frustration I felt all Thursday eve, I'm not going to reveal what the word was.  So you can stew in frustration a bit longer***.

Conrad Is Happy!

It doesn't take much - a pot of loose-leaf Darjeeling, a jigger - no, don't worry, still nothing about the jigsaw puzzle yet - of rum, a pound of pickled ginger - though not necessarily all at the same time.  Also, written material.  Art?

     This, gentle reader, is a copy of the war diary for the 4th Canadian Artillery Regiment during the latter part of 1944.  I found it by mysterious means, in fact the war diary for several other Canuckistanian divisions and brigades, all online and FREE!  (National Archives take note).  The reason I picked this diary is because of - Art?

Author George Blackburn

          That above is a personal memoir written by an officer in the 4th Canadian Artillery Regiment.  In the foreword George is pretty scathing about the official histories as they lacked any kind of personal details - how tired, muddy or scared he and his comrades were, that sort of thing.  Well, Your Humble Scribe is going to go over the Official History and cross-check it with George, and we shall see what we shall see.

*  Irony, laid on with a shovel

**  I made this up but you get the point.

***  Heh.