Spaghetti Carbonmetamaterial

Ha!  Sometimes I Amuse Even Myself

Not today, because I've used all my humour up in listening to a new Youtube channel I discovered yesterday, called "The Critical Drinker" - but that's another story altogether, another symphony in a different catering room*.

     So!  What I'd like to kick off with again is another of Doctor Hope's analyses of "The Boys" first season.  I have to say, having read all the comic books, that Billy Butcher is a lot more sinister clean shaven, because then you can see his disarming and completely insincere smile.  Art?

This is going to end very, very badly for some unfortunate.

     Anyway, whom I want to focus on tonight is the late Translucent, whose superpower was in being able to turn invisible.  O, and he also pops out a load of technobabble about how his skin becomes an impervious carbon metamaterial, implying that he's <ahem> so hard.  Art!

Now you see him ... and now his hand disappears.

     The good doctor makes the very valid point that this prancing pervert can only be truly effective as a super-sneak if he's totally naked.  Just think about that for a moment, just don't dwell on it for too long.  One judges he'd be in trouble if spying in the depths of winter, or a thunderstorm, which would reveal where he was standing, and one wonders if he'd make a good lightning conductor thanks to being made of carbon -

     But I digress.  Doctor Hope also makes the point, which was elaborated nearly a century ago in the case of H. G. Wells' "The Invisible Man", that Translucent would also be completely blind when he turns invisible, as his eyes won't receive incoming light.  Your Humble Scribe isn't sure if there isn't some technobabble that explains this or not, or perhaps, as the good doctor again theorises (and admits a physicist not a physician is what you need here), light is kind of 'conducted' through him as with a fibre-optic cable.  

     Then there's the method of assassination used.  Art?

"Hughie realised he'd need a bucket and spade, not a roll of kitchen towels."

     One of the tricky things about an item like this concerning "The Boys" is that it's so incredibly gory at times, and we here at BOOJUM! do try to maintain our SFW status.  Suffice it to say that Translucent has had a considerable amount of explosive inserted into his back passage, which can be detonated by remote control.  Hughie has the remote control.  Translucent unwisely goads Hughie, and you can see the end result above.
     Doctor Hope is right behind this, if you'll excuse the pun, saying that a suppository explosive device is absolutely credible, given the ability of the human bowel to accommodate a lot of extra stuffing.  He then mentions that it's a rite of passage for junior doctors to remove unwanted extras from people's behinds - at which we draw the veil.

     Interestingly, if a little ghoulishly, one commentator on the vlog stated that Translucent's skin was an incredibly hard substance, like diamond, so he wouldn't have blown apart, more kind of blown inward and imploded, collapsing on the floor as a flaccid bag of Translucent-shaped, pulp-filled corpse**.
     Motley!  Get me that steak and the meat-tenderizer, I feel inspired!

Meanwhile, At The Battel Of Liverysh Kidnie

We have now reached Turn 12, and things are hotting up further.    Art?

     Over here on the Parliamentarian's port flank, a whole regiment of Royalist horse has been routed off the table, as has a battalia of their infantry.  There's another regiment routing, which might be rallied in a turn or two - if they can spare the Tempo points for it.

     On the starboard flank the cavalry action has degenerated into a free-for-all scrum, the Royalists squandering their initial success by being scattered all over the place, meaning it costs a lot more for them to move around, and they can't realign by moving backwards - the rules forbit it.  I think this is one of the lessons learned about the 'Polemos' rules; they punish disorganisation and make it hard to bring back together units that split apart.  

Also, the battlefield was rarely as orderly as this.

     This is fair enough; on the battlefields of the English Civil Unpleasantness, especially at the start, soldiers lacked the experience and training to be able to manage anything apart from the most basic manoeuvres.  To move backwards would require turning your backs on the enemy in unison, marching to the new position in unison, then turning in place to face front again in unison, all the while under fire and with the threat of cavalry coming in to sweep you away (like Hughie and his bucket).  Only highly-trained and experienced troops could manage that.

     In the very centre you can see Fielding's Royals wheeling into position, ready to attack the Roundhead infantry.  if the King's men win the Tempo bidding next turn it might be curtains for the Parliamentarians; on the other hand the Cavaliers have now blithely marched into range of that cannon ...

Conrad Confirms His Status As A Sporting Ignoramus

Sorry, I couldn't resist taking a snapshot of the Have Your Say pages on the BBC's sports pages, because see the title of this item.  Art?

     This was from an article talking about golf and someone winning by "bombing" and "gouging".  If you can't read the small print, allow me: "Pointless comment.  Most courses on the PGA are a piece of **** where rough is not even remotely penal so his extreme length hardly matters where even short hitters are hitting short irons into soft greens and can spin them from the rough."

     You what?  Conrad, were he presented with this farrago cold and out of context, would have rather hesitantly concluded it was about an adult film.

Exactly.

     - moving swiftly on -

Bendis Recommends

<sigh> well, with Covid-19 restrictions back in place, it looks as if it's going to be some time before Your Humble Scribe gets to trip lightly o'er the threshold into either "Forbidden Planet" or "Travelling Man".  Thus, I hope you've been taking notes of the comics that Mighty Brian Bendis has been recommending during lockdown, because I have <wallet squeaks in fear>.  What's next, Bri?

"Dial H For Hero" And "The Wonder Twins": The former is an old series, wherein our hero and protagonist possesses a miracle phone; you dial H-E-R-O on it, and temporarily become a hero.  Art?

The jazzed-up version Ol' Bri recommends

     The original series was a pretty uninspired series of one-shot stories, where the owner of the H-Dial was unaccountably lucky in that, by sheer coincidence, he always turned into the hero required for that story's specific threat.  Wow, what are the chances of that happening, hmmm?

     This series takes a much deeper and broader look at the H-dial, the 'Heroverse' and the 'Multiverse', and the artwork is a lot better than the original, too.  

Of course I have no intention of buying it -

<wallet sighs in relief>

 - no, I was lying, I am definitely going to be buying it, I just said that to get a rise out of you -

<wallet faints with fear>.
     Given that we need to put wallet into the recovery position, Conrad is going to delay an inspection of "The Wonder Twins".

     Well well, imagine that, we're now at Compositional Count and then some, which must mean - we're done!

*  Buzzcocks music reference for you there.

**  Some people clearly have far too much time on their hands.