What I Did On My Afternoon Off

 Sorry To Indulge In That Internet Staple -

"My life is so interesting I'm going to bore you all with it".  Hopefully Your Humble Scribe can hang enough interesting prose off the idea to entertain you, gentle readers.

     So, as it was my birthday (FIFTY NINE FIFTY NINE FIFTY NINE in case you were interested) I ventured into Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell yesteryon, rendezvousing with Darling Daughter at the Corn Exchange.  I've been to Mowglis, and Pho, so DD recommended 'Doner Haus", which has a Teuton theme to it.  Art?

DD in person; looks from Mother, intellect from Dad

     I got to hear about her new job, which involves packing testing kits for Covid-19, so silver lining for some people.  Then I got to dull her senses with a few anecdotes about my job in the Store Recruitment team of my Still Coyly Anonymous Enormous Employer.

     Then we got down to the serious business of the afternoon: eating.  Conrad had the foresight to take a picture of his Bratwurst Platter before he lit into it.  Art?

     Note the sauerkraut.  Unlike most of you out there, Your Modest Artisan likes sauerkraut.  Just out of shot is the stein of beer I ordered; not a kleine stein, either, but a grosse stein.  I cleared the plate and emptied the glass, by which time I was prettttty full.

     At meal's end we'd been nattering non-stop for a good ninety minutes without repeating ourselves.  It's good to catch up!

    Motley, we're going to have a sauerkraut-eating competition -  four pounds of sauerkraut against the clock!

Yummy scrummy

Because You Can Never Have Too Much Tea

The problem with working from home has been that I'm going through two pots of tea per day, one at breakfast and another in the early evening.  This means my consumption of loose-leaf Fairtrade Darjeeling has been high, and I'm down to my last pack of five that I bought in June.

     Desperate but not serious.

     Thus I took advantage of my two-stage journey into Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell yesteryon to divert via Sainsburys.  The results - Art?

Drum roll and cymbal clash, please

     All the packets that there were on the shelves.  I'm sure they have lots left in the warehouse.

You Know Me So Well

Birthday present from Wonder Wifey arrived this morning, and it made me laugh out loud (not a pleasant experience for everyone else).  Art?

     Come on, you have to admit that's pretty Dog Buns amusing!  I am currently wearing the cool and groovy "The Great Escape" tee that Degsy got me, so you'll get a picture of that tomorrow.

     I know that, for one, Darling Daughter will envy me the above.  And no, there won't be ANY BORROWING.

Changing Tack Completely

Have you ever wondered about the different nomenclature for artillery pieces and wished that some wise person out there would take the time and trouble to expound exactly which does what?

     You have?  What an amazing coincidence, for Conrad is here to help you!

     I am referring to gunpowder artillery of the seventeenth century, as this is what I've been reading about of late.  Bear in mind these weapons were, if not quite in their infancy, definitely still in short trousers.

     "Gun": a relatively long-barrelled weapon that fired in a fairly flat trajectory, at a high velocity (for the time).  Great at knocking things down with brute force.

Sic

     "Howitzer": A shorter-barrelled weapon capable of very high elevation, meaning it's shells could be dropped onto targets, or behind them.

How the howitzer

     As you can see here, the trail behind the barrel is open, allowing for very high elevation.

     "Mortar": A very short-barrelled weapon firing a shell with a parabolic trajectory, meaning, as with the howitzer, that you could drop shells behind enemy defences, or right on top of them.  

Modern day re-enactment, in case you were wondering

     The NPS have a very nice illustration of the different trajectories of all three weapons, which I am unashamedly going to steal - Art?

They park to arc

     The howitzer and mortar would only be used in siege operations, the mortar especially so, because it was heavy and awkward to move around.  The advantage it had over the howitzer was that it could be loaded with explosive ammunition, causing a great deal more damage where it landed than a simple iron round.

     There you go - BOOJUM! educating you one fact at a time.

"We Have Ways" With Tom Holland

(Brother of the more famous Tom) and their podcast about how influential Sparta, Rome and classical civilisations were on the Nazi state.

     Very, it turns out.  Sparta, the warrior state, inevitably proved to be a big draw for Herr Schickelgruber, who thoroughly bought into their repellent philosphy.  If the only things you know about Sparta come from "The 300", then go read a history book.  They had a class of slaves called 'helots' and to prove you were a real Spartan warrior, you had to go and kill one of them.  The helots had no rights at all, and were the former citizens of another city-state the Spartans had conquered and enslaved.  You may recognise some chiming here with the philosophy and practices of the Third Reich, which is not accidental.

Spartans being - er - Sparton?

     The Nazis eulogised the Spartans, and insisted that they were Aryans, and would go through the most bizarre historical contortions to 'prove' this.  When it came to architecture, however, Herr Schickelgruber and his ilk were all Roman Roman Roman, because they built big and the Spartans not at all.  The Nazis also liked the Roman practice of immense cruelty in dealing with enemies and any rebellious subjects, because for them "He made a desert, and called it 'peace'" was a major operating principle, not simply a quote, especially on the Eastern Front.

     And on that grimly sinister note, we are done!