Take A Powder

 As The South Canadians Say

Which is peculiarly apt, because yesterday I found an absolutely fantastic website that goes into detail, and I mean impressively detailed detail, about gunpowder artillery.  For some reason it comes under the banner of the South Canadian National Parks Service, whom Your Humble Scribe has only ever come into contact with via "Parks And Rec".  

Trust me, funny

     I'm not going to give you a link, because, rather to my surprise, they give the recipe for gunpowder.  MI5 are far too interested in me already; were I to pass out public information on how to manifest an IED I think they'd be both unimpressed and even more interested.

Corned

     They also explain what "corned" gunpowder is.  You see, if all you do is mix the powdered ingredients together, you get a mixture that gives a less explosive force than optimal.  What you do is mix it with liquid and then cut it up - very carefully and with bronze non-sparking instruments - into very small bits.  These give more oomph for your explosion when detonated.

     I discovered the site because Conrad was interested in knowing how much gunpowder a cannon consumed when firing a cannon-ball; there's no set amount, it transpires.  Gunner could and would vary charges according to how far they wanted or needed to shoot, but you could say as a rule of thumb between a quarter and one half of the weight of shot.  Thus a culverin firing a 12 pound ball would use up at least four pounds of powder.

The best illustration I could find

     Also, you may be entertained to know, gunpowder mills usually used water for motive power, for obvious reasons.  Buildings would be spaced apart with a barrier wall between each, and their roofs would be deliberately flimsy, so that if there was an explosion, it would blow out the roof rather than shatter the whole building (and it's soft, squishy inhabitants) apart.

     Fascinating stuff!

     Motley, would you like a sherbet dib-dab?

Back To Umbrelladlam

Hmmm it sounded cleverer in my head.

Half-clever?

     As you should surely know, Your Humble Scribe has binge-watched the whole second season of "The Umbrella Academy", at the end of which he decided to re-watch the first season, since it was long enough ago that most of it has slipped his mind.  It was a worthwhile decision, too, and I am enjoying it.  Since I've already seen it, no need to hurriedly binge-watch it again*.

The Further Adventures Of Rupert The Pirate

When last we left our Royalist scapegrace, he had escaped the Parliament fleet a-hunting him down in the Mediterranean, and set sail south with his four ships.  He ended up on the West African coast, having a scrap with the locals and contracting malaria, the luckless lad.  This was in 1652, or three years after his decision to turn pirate and acquire treasure and riches for the Royalist cause.  Art?

A map what I found

     Next he decided to sail to the Caribbean, which was not a good idea, as his subordinates reminded him; trans-Atlantic travel in the age of sail was hazardous, and the hoped-for Royalist refuge in Barbados had surrendered to the Roundheads.  Not only that, two of his ships sank, one of which had his brother, Prince Maurice aboard.  Feeling a bit glum, Ol' Rupe gave up piracy and headed for France, where Charles II sat in exile.

     At first Chas Two was happy to see Ol' Rupe, as the avaricious royal anticipated oodles of treasure and money.  In fact there was hardly any (all those sunken ships, remember?) and the two fell out.  Feeling bitter than he'd wasted four years and his health, Ol' Rupe sulked his way out of the spotlight**.

This will all make sense on Facebook, honestly.  Art?

Back To That List Of The Top 50 TV Sci-Fi Shows

And what do we have at Number 11?  Why, "Stranger Things" of course.  Art?

Excellent theme tune

     Conrad, predictably, loves this show.  In fact, if you had sat down and tried to come up with a show that ticked all his boxes, you would have created "Stranger Things".  The soundtrack is always excellent, and it references the great South Canadian documentary-maker John Carpenter, which is always a sign of good things.  You have Sheriff Hopper, lovingly described as a "Fat Rambo", and El, whom it is dangerous to cross, and her One True Love Mike, and - well, pretty much the whole cast are winners.  We have had 3 seasons so far and given how stormingly successful you can bet your last kroner there will be a Season 4.  Art?

     I've just realised that's two Netflix series mentioned in one blog.  No, I am not on commission.  Although, Netflix, if you are listening?...

Box-Office Bombs Number 4: "Monster Trucks"

Apparently the concept behind this was inspired by the suggestions of a 4 year old.  That'll teach them.  

      The idea is that all trucks have a monster in them, or something like that.  I'm not going to waste either my time or yours in a detailed description of the delicate plot nuances, the characters, the trucks nor the monsters.  Conrad is not a metal-head anyway and has 0.0% interest in trucks of any sort, whether they come with pre-installed monster or not.  Preferably not - it would be tricky getting an MOT here in the UK if it had to take place around a seething mass of tentacles and teeth.  Art?

Does it need petrol or pet food?

     The whole farrago lost £78 million at the box office, which is more like a whole B17 squadron's worth of bombs than merely one.  There were extensive reshoots and redesigns, which always hike the end price significantly.  Perhaps there was merchandising that helped to balance the final accounting, but I don't care enough to check.  You may do so if you wish.

*  But I may anyway, as I'm immensely fickle.

**  Only for a while