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Friday, 21 August 2020

Bricks And Mortar

 Just Not How You Were Expecting Them ...

Actually this is more about demolition than construction.

     Here an aside.  If you recall, AND YOU OUGHT TO, Conrad posted a list of comic recommendations by the mighty Brian Bendis, the first of which was "Black Hammer", which of course - obviously! - you can also use for demolition.  Art?

Black Hammer #7 :: Profile :: Dark Horse Comics
More - well, kind of grey, wouldn't you agree?

     The plot appears to centre around six superheroes trapped in Rockwood, a kind of pocket universe mimicking backwoods South Canada, who are never going to get out.  Not a concept that exactly pulls one in, is it?  Still, if Mighty Bendis recommends it, there must be something going for it.  The spin-off series ("Sherlock Frankenstein", anyone?) sound more interesting than the main event.

     I am back in the office next week, which means having to pass by Travelling Man, so we shall see, we shall see ...

     Back on track.  Mostly.  Okay, Conrad is reading "Cromwell Against The Scots", which is about Crommy's campaigns in Scotland (logically enough), which Your Humble Scribe knew absolutely nothing about.  Art?

CROMWELL AGAINST THE SCOTS by Grainger, John D.: Very Good ...
Mine has a sticker asking it to be returned to the charity shop once read.  NOT A CHANCE!

     The whole thing is horribly complicated, and at one point there are five different Scottish factions all competing with each other, some of whom are far more sympathetic to the republican English than with their own Kirkmen, who were siding with Charles II, the son of Chas One and whom had come ashore in Scotland from France in 1650.

     One thing Mister Grainger makes very clear is how many more sieges were undertaken than pitched battles.  So far there has only been one pitched battle, which Crommy won in devastating style at Dunbar.  However, there are sieges of Scottish castles aplenty; every other hill seems to have had a castle atop it (this is probably a legacy of the stormy and violent history of Scotland).  One reason they have to be laid siege to is because so-called "moss troopers" were using them as bases to raid the English, in a species of guerilla warfare.  Art?

Dirleton Castle
Dirleton Castle

     That above housed one Captain Watt and sixty moss troopers.  The castle walls might have been thick enough to hold off the English great guns; they were powerless to keep out mortar shells, the explosive effect of which was magnified by the stoutness of the interior walls.  The castle surrendered after four mortar shells were fired into it, ten English prisoners were released and Captain Watt got shot, is what.

     Some of these castles were very tough nuts indeed, especially those constructed on seaside cliffs.  Art?

Tantallon Castle by bicycle - The Cycling Scot
Tantallon Castle

     As you can see, it was simply one huge wall, three sides of it being protected by sheer cliffs that ended in the sea.  The English brought up a couple of infantry regiments, some great guns and one of those malicious mortars, too.  The curtain wall got battered down, the garrison of one hundred promptly surrendering, rather than suffer a storming that would probably have wiped them out.

Tantallon Castle | The Castles of Scotland, Coventry | Goblinshead
From the front

     We may come back to this, if for no other reason than castles are cool*.

     Motley, I'll give you a ten-second lead, and then I'll try to hit you with this mortar.  Don't forget to zig-zag!


Hitler, Sparta, Athens And Rome ("We Have Ways ..." Podcast)

Featuring Tom Holland, brother of Jim, who insists on calling him "Bro".

     Sparta (technically Laconia) was not known for anything except being able to wage war.  They did not produce literary works, never built anything except huts, and lived on their "Black Broth".  Quite what this was is open to interpretation, as the recipe does not survive.  We know it contained pigs legs, salt, vinegar and pig's blood.  Art?

Black soup ~ Everything You Need to Know with Photos | Videos
Conrad is not going to fight you for it.

     Now, we already know that one of their biggest fans was Herr Schickelgruber, who, desperate to prove that the Spartans were as Nordic as the Norsemen, somehow traced Black Broth back to it's roots in Schleswig-Holstein.  

     Riiiiiiight.  Schleswig-Holstein.  Part of Germany.  Land of the Teutons.  Frankly, Schicky, that's reaching, and reaching a lot.


This will make sense on Facebook, honestly.  Trust me on this, I have an honest face.

Sven Hassel Collection of 12 Paperback Books. | Paperback books ...
A lot of Hassel


You What?

Conrad had never heard of the television series "The Librarians" before Monday, when he was Googling for a decent image for his title "What Lies Beneath" - and stop drooling over Michelle Pfeiffer in the bath - and - well, let Art show you.

And What Lies Beneath the Stones - The Librarians S02E03 | TVmaze
That is so not right.

     You know Conrad - nosy as anything, so I followed the picture above and came to "The Librarians", which, if Art will stop mooning about Mara Corday -

The Librarians (TV Series 2014–2018) - IMDb
No books?

     It's a spin-off that relates directly to a film franchise, wherein one Flynn Carter accepts a job as Librarian, thinking it a sinecure.  O no.  Not at all.  The Library plays host to a whole collection of supernatural artefacts, and Flynn has to protect them.  The television series follows on from the films, with those above being the cast.

The Librarians - 2.03 - And What Lies Beneath the Stones ...
Another creepy grinner.

     Those images are from "And What Lies Beneath The Stones", where digging for a pipeline releases a very naughty spirit, who feeds on lies.  It can also change appearance, though it seems to have trouble coping with "smile" which it seems to interpret as "Hideous Leering Grimace".  One way to spot it, I suppose.


Finally -

Nearly at the Compositional Ton, tra-la!  O, just FYI, I have started another 1,000 piece jigsaw, this one complete as Wonder Wifey has already completed it once.  I'll post a picture of how far I've gotten with it tomorrow, if that's okay?  Thank you so much.

And with that, we are done!

As are bow ties.

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